Worried about having a child as I'm too sensitive to many things

[Franksidebottom12]

I'd like a child perhaps, but I like a very quiet, calm and tidy life and I'm worried I'd have too little patience. I'm ok with bodily functions as I've worked in elderly care (I'm not saying I enjoy it, just grin and bear it)
However having worked a lot around children and teens there are many things which just put me off completely.
The list is endless: nose picking, talking with their mouth full of food, eating with their mouth open, not brushing teeth hence bad breath, poor hygiene, dirty, filthy smelling bedrooms (i had a teenage brother!!)
Farting, putting empty packets back in the cupboard, leaving the cupboard open, whining constantly, very loud voice, screeching for no reason, being very clumsy and banging into you constantly, spilling drinks etc. Constantly, eating everything in the house, rudeness, passive aggressiveness, screaming for no reason.

These are just things I've observed mainly from working with children and teens. I'm not saying I was a perfect child, definitely not. But the above things just make me feel ill, and I feel like I have very little tolerance.
I can't expect a child to be perfectly behaved in every way but not sure I could deal with the above things on a regular basis. I know some of it would be down to my parenting and if they behave, but sometimes kids are just kids. Maybe I'm just very impatient and expect too much?

I would say I am pretty laid back about bodily functions, noise, potty talk, mess etc. I have a lovely generally well behaved 4 year old and she drives me up the wall with constant burping, farting, picking her nose, calling me a poopy head. She comes home from nursery clarted in dirt. If your tolerance is not high to begin with I would suggest maybe it's better not to have children.

Might be best if you don't have a child then.

They're great to have (mostly!) but they're not the be all and end all.

I wouldn't.

I have the same issues as you and though I wanted children for several years, I'm glad now I didn't.

I think if those things genuinely make you ill then no you shouldn’t have a child.

You don’t want a child. Believe me.

I wouldn't have a child in your shoes

The poor thing would grow up miserable

If you don't want a child, don't have one. You don't need to justify it.
However, if you do want a child, maybe teach them not to do that stuff so they grow into clean, tidy, hygienic adults? The world certainly needs more of those.

Don't, not for your sake, for the child's.

Some people are not cut out for parenting. You sound like that may be the case with you. Being a parent is not for the faint of heart.

@Franksidebottom12

You have totally unrealistic ideas about kids

You need a reality check not a baby the poor child would as another poster said have a life of misery - just because you miserable please don't inflict this on anyone else

No you don’t sound well suited to having a child from what you said. However a lot of that would be on you, kids not brushing their teeth is neglect really, poor hygiene is neglect, poor behaviour again mostly down to how you parent, but there can be a lot of exceptions to that rule.

No, not for you.

Honestly, if you’re at the stage where you don’t want a child for fear that it will fart, you probably should accept that kids aren’t for you.

What makes you think you want a child?

You've just listed 95% of what having a child entails as things you don't want/wouldnt be able to tolerate

A lot of what you describe is bad parenting, but if you like a quiet calm and tidy life, I don’t see why you want a child? What do you think the upside would be?

I think you change massively when you have a baby. Changing a nappy is gross, but after a few months most parents hardly notice the grossness of it any more.

Somehow what is disgusting in other people and their children is not that bad in your own.

My Dd is grown up now, but if I had to suddenly change a nappy today, I’d be freaked out.

Parenting is not for everyone. I really wanted a baby, really felt the ache and the longing and thought seriously about it, but I knew that I would not have coped well with the reality of it all. Like you, I have worked with children and had no rose tinted glasses about what children need and what life with children would be like.

I have a tidy, clean, quiet home and I value it so much. I also usually get enough sleep, and have time and money to dedicate to myself and my partner. These things are becoming more important to me all the time

It sounds like you know a lot more than most about the challenges of parenthood, so you can make a smart, informed decision about whether whether it's right for you. I fully appreciate it's not easy though, and not all of us fall nearly into 'want' or 'dont want'

One or two pretty weird sarky replies saying the child would have a 'miserable life'Hmm.. Ok then.
I just need to think about it. Maybe if it were my old child it wouldn't be so bad, I just have to do a lot of thinking.

This is meant kindly, though it may not seem so.

Don't have a child. There are enough unhappy children being raised by parents who can't cope with the full repertoire of childrens' needs — which include the experience of being noisy, messy, unruly and grubby in order to develop healthily.

I think it's great that you've stopped to think before going ahead. It's fine not to want children for whatever reason.

I've found that things that I find repulsive in other people and children don't bother me at all when it's my own child.
My house is not calm, quiet and tidy though and it is frustrating. Not frustrating enough to make me regret my decision.

Plenty of my friends don't have kids and seem time at least living the life of Riley.

It doesn't sound like it's for you, tbh it's hard work amazing but not for everyone and that's ok.

What you've described in your post wouldn't be a great parent to any child

So yes

They most likely would be miserable with a mother so uptight

Generic children can be grim. Thing is, you normally don't mind the grimness of your own child..

Must be the love thing..

Okay, alternative view to PPs.

I am a very quiet person and like my own space. I function badly on lack of sleep. I don't necessarily like the feeling of being needed all of the time.

My DH is very extroverted and loves noise. He loves being needed and jumped all over.

We have a very happy DD who gets different things from both of us.

I do best with the planning/organising, colouring, reading, park days, nature spotting and nice walks. DH loves rough and tumble, General crazy play, the night wake ups and will often take DD out if I'm feeling overwhelmed.

My only advice is read the parenting boards to see the reality of what the hard parts of having a child are. Do research. Be honest with yourself. And the MOST important thing, pick your partner as well as you possibly can. They can make or break parenting harmony.

Don’t have kids. It wouldn’t be fair on them.
that being said, good manners and behaviour can be taught, but oh my god it takes tenacity.