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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU Tto think MIL is a bit weird for this?

102 replies

GreenLeavesandSpam · 26/08/2022 11:29

When I was pregnant MIL brought us a travel system, it was fairly expensive but she can easily afford it and she gifted it to us as our present for baby. Her son is an only child, this is the only baby we are having for medical reasons so no other GC for her to be having.

Son has now outgrown travel system - purchased new car seat and new buggy over the last few months to replace what she brought and it has been sitting in our loft unused.

With the rising costs, we now need to be making extra money, so I put the travel system up for sale on fb marketplace. MIL has seen this and said we are not to sell it but to give it back to her so she can put it in her loft to keep. We have asked her why and she just said she wants to keep it. We have explained we need the money and she has said tough. Irrelevant but her financial position is much much much better than ours to the point she doesn't have to work because she has so much disposable income and has never had a mortgage because she could afford to buy houses outright. We are talking 7 figures. We are struggling on benefits due to disability and lack of childcare (which she won't help out with because it interrupts her routine).

AIBU to think this is weird and to want to continue to sell it? I feel it was given to us to use, it has been used by us and is ours and therefore we can now dispose of it as we like?

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 26/08/2022 12:16

You could offer to sell it to her. 😉

Doidontimmm · 26/08/2022 12:20

Maybe she thinks her son may have children with someone else in the future? Very bizarre.

Danceswithkids · 26/08/2022 12:21

It's possible as it was expensive and she knows you will only get a fraction of the money back she's hoping to use it for other family members/friends. But it's not hers!

LookItsMeAgain · 26/08/2022 12:23

I'd take it down off Facebook Marketplace and put it instead on Ebay! If she knows who you are on FBMP, set up a completely different named account on Ebay and sell it there.

Tell her you've taken it down from FB. Don't mention about putting it up for sale anywhere else.

If she asks for it back, tell her you loaned it to a colleague who was very hard on her luck etc. etc. and you were being the decent person here by loaning it out. Then it came back in a terrible state (from use) and they've brought it to their recycling centre.

Gifts are not gifts if they come with strings attached.

VioletInsolence · 26/08/2022 12:28

So she loves her GS so much that she is insisting on keeping his pram?

While she watches you all struggling even though it sounds like she could improve your lives considerably and barely notice the difference to her bank balance. She sounds lovely!

Rowen32 · 26/08/2022 12:29

I'm curious as to why you needed a new buggy? Usually they go up to age 4, the expensive ones anyway?

To be honest, I'd give it back, I wouldn't have the nerve to sell on something I'd been given as a present especially if the person knew. Maybe she feels nostalgic about it and doesn't like the thoughts of it going to someone else when she bought it for her grandson. People can be really sentimental about things like that..

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 26/08/2022 12:35

Just give her it back and never accept another 'gift'..

Hidingawaytoday · 26/08/2022 12:42

GreenLeavesandSpam · 26/08/2022 12:08

I hope so as she knows I have a hysto booked! Unless she is expecting a miracle in future!

Show quote history

Ok, this might sound horrible and I can't believe I'm actually posting this but... does she like you? It's such weird behaviour, could she be harbouring hopes that her DS might have another one?

CustardGoodJamGoodMeatGood · 26/08/2022 12:45

She gave it as a gift, not a loan, it's yours to do with as you please. My dad bought us a travel system that was stupidly expensive looking back now, but when we were done with it, he was happy for us to sell it and keep the money.

Missillusioned · 26/08/2022 12:45

Tell her it's too late, you've already sold it and spent the money. Then just advertise it elsewhere.

CaptainMum · 26/08/2022 12:49

It's obviously ridiculous and unreasonable of her. Is it just sentimental being a special gift for an only, adored grandchild? I wouldn't make a big deal of it- just give it back.

berksandbeyond · 26/08/2022 12:50

She's being ridiculous but it's also not her job to help you with childcare or any other expenses.

Don't accept any further gifts from her.

SleeplessInEngland · 26/08/2022 12:53

It's a bit weird, but if she's doing it for perverse sentimental reasons then I'd pick your battles.

Kitkatcatflap · 26/08/2022 12:57

I think there are some mean comments on here - seriously it was suggested she be blocked for this.

Most probably, she is probably sentimental about the pram. It's her only grandchild's first pram. People do keep old prams, cots etc. There was one in our attic when we moved in and no one had lived in the house for over 30 years.

I would blatantly sell a gift without giving them a heads up so they don't see it advertised or someone tells them about it. I would have said 'Baby has grown out of the travel system, we thought we would sell it and put the money towards a new one'. It's polite. And yes, I have done the same if people have bought nice clothes, I let them know that I have passed them on.

Does she know you are struggling for money? Some people with money, forget that others live paycheck to paycheck.

Noiamnotshe · 26/08/2022 13:03

It's yours not hers do what you want with it hard luck if she doesn't like it. Just don't tell her.

Rutland2022 · 26/08/2022 13:04

I dunno, I can sort of see both sides to this. I don’t sell on expensive gifts, I give them away.

My parents brought our very expensive travel
system (£1400), we are still using it occasionally but once we are finished with it I’ll see if they want it back or will gift it on. I would feel weird making money on something I didn’t buy.

But I think your MIL is very odd to
watch you struggle too so I’d expect her to be helping too.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 26/08/2022 13:07

Oh god I maybe think she hasn't much faith in your marriage op...
Not good.

Brigante9 · 26/08/2022 13:07

I think your Dh should try and tell her you’re broke and in need of the cash. Is she likely to listen to him more?

DelphiniumBlue · 26/08/2022 13:10

Don't say anything at all, let your DH deal with this.
And what he could do is tell his mum that he needs to sell the travel system in order to pay for {specific thing that is necessary for the DC}. Obviously he will give it to her if she really wants it, but that will leave him with a problem, as he can't otherwise afford the . Maybe she doesn't quite understand how hard up you are, maybe she might offer to buy the new *.
But let your DH do the talking on this one.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/08/2022 13:12

Whether you give it to her or sell it, the relationship is done for. She a nasty, petty cow.

DixonD · 26/08/2022 13:12

JenniferBarkley · 26/08/2022 11:41

I think it's bad manners, and given the difference in your financial circumstances it would be kind of her to buy it from you.

But - one child, one grandchild, the big gift she bought for the new baby. There's probably a lot of sentiment tied up in it, so I understand why she doesn't want to part with it.

A bit off to expect MIL to buy it twice!

I expect she’s sentimental about it OP. I’d just give it back to her - be the bigger person. She’s a bit selfish but it doesn’t mean you have to be.

SarahProblem · 26/08/2022 13:15

How much will you get for it? Is it worth the stress.

If you need the money go for it she'll probably be mad but not much she can do.

newlife82 · 26/08/2022 13:16

I would give it back but I would no longer want this woman in my life tbh. I'd be going low-contact (only for the sake of the child) and not accepting any further "gifts".

RebeccaCloud9 · 26/08/2022 13:24

Do you think she could be expecting your DH to find someone else and give her more GC? If so, I'd be furious at her wanting the pram back.

Can you passively aggressively admit shock at her wanting a gift back?

JenniferBarkley · 26/08/2022 13:26

Some people are really reaching here.

OP, I highly doubt she wants your DH to leave you, and I don't think you need to go no contact. She's just attached to the pram, it means a lot to her, and if you're not going to keep it she would like to.