To eat some cereal that was in my kitchen

[Teenprobs]

My 19 year old son has just came in and went ballistic that his cereal he brought had been eaten. I assumed my DP had bought it when he did the shopping yesterday in tesco as normally we buy Aldi.

Just to clarify he usually eats elsewhere and sorts himself out, but he can 'eat' our food whenever he wants. I imagine he used My milk for 'his cereal'

To save the hassle I just said take it off your board this month.

AIBU, to think if he wants his own food he either needs to hide it in his room, or he needs to buy everything himself? Eg washing powder etc.

AIBU, to think if he wants his own food he either needs to hide it in his room, or he needs to buy everything himself? Eg washing powder etc.

Considering he’s your son, he bought it himself, and it’s his home too that he pays board for yes YABU.

YWNBU to say he was out of order for going ballistic about it though, you didn’t realise it was his and he’s cheeky having a go at you for it.

Of course YANBU. And his free access to your food and consumables stops NOW.

Does he usually go ballistic over something so minor? I would sit down for a coffee with him and talk this through, he's an adult now.

Depends on the cereal tbh.

Regular cereal thst you regularly buy and would expect to see in the kitchen, fine.

"Treat" cereal that you never usually buy, or American cereal you need to go out of your way to get then YABU.

YABU

He pays board!

Yes, was it Lucky Charms?!

Oops, yes, you’re right.

In which case OP needs to straighten out what’s included or not. And her DS needs to keep his personal things out of the way.

Was this a single pack of coco pops or something? Because if not, surely you haven't eaten ALL of it?

Buy him a pack of Post-Its and let him label everything he doesn't want touching.

Also tell him it's payback for when you didn't get a look-in at anything when he was a kid

Actually can see where he is coming from if he specifically brought something for him to eat. Was looking forward to it then went to have some and it's gone.

I get annoyed when my teens do it to food I would have liked. Surely you just say sorry and go and replace it.

How did you eat a whole box cereal?

I wouldn't suggest him keeping food in his room! 🙄

Surely you could clear a cupboard so he can store HIS food in there. He also has a shelf/drawer in the fridge for HIS food.

I'd be telling him to check his fucking attitude, frankly. He eats your food all the time, yet he begrudges his own mum accidentally/innocently having some of his cereal? What a little shit.

Off topic but I love lucky charms and would totally eat some if they were in my kitchen lol ...

I don't think OP is being unreasonable, her son going ballistic over cereal is a unreasonable ... but I have to ask how much out of a box of cereal did you eat? One bowl would hardly empty a box that your assuming was only bought yesterday... if you opened the box and had a bowl and there was still plenty left for him then why is he going so crazy over it?

I can sympathise with your son cause I'd hate if I bought myself a treat and someone ate it, but I'd gladly share a box of cereal since it generally contains more than one serving ...

How much board does he pay, does it reflect how much he uses (electricity, water, Internet and food) in which case he's entitled to use the milk... if he only pays a very small token sum then maybe remind him he'd paying more out on his own or renting board elsewhere and one bowl of cereal is a pretty reasonable tradeoff ... maybe he can start labelling the food he buys if its such an issue for him?

Maybe it's me but my mum fed,clothed,housed and funded my interests for 17 years... I think she's earned the odd bowl of cereal every now and then lol

Can op just buy another box and let him have a serving from it ??

Of course you shouldn't eat something that's not yours!

Going ballistic isn't an appropriate response (I'm assuming you immediately apologised for your mistake and offered to replace as is reasonable) - but he's 19 and teenagers are not renowned for their reasonableness towards their parents.

You should be replacing his cereal and apologising for eating it, he should apologise for going ballistic.

(I assume the board he pays includes normal food items (not specially bought personal treats), so the milk is as much his as it is yours).

You're not bu. He's living in a family home, not a student flatshare. Families are not usually this ungenerous.

Was it Reece's puffs or lucky charms because they're not a normal breakfast cereal, they are what you buy when you need a sugary treat hit.

You should ask if unsure considering there are 2 other adults in the house, but it wasn't unreasonable to have assumed it was your DH who had bought it, it was just a genuine mistake. He has grounds to be miffed but not ballistic.

Surprised he's got to 19 and this is the first time this has happened? I have these conversations with my 13yo!

It was in the communal kitchen area, so to speak, therefore it was perfectly fine to assume it was for anyone to eat. I am a little concerned as to how an entire box was eaten in a day but teenagers do get the munchies a lot!

How much are you charging him for board? And does he pull his own weight? Otherwise you might want to rethink the arrangement.

If he bought special cereal that is presumably either expensive or hard-to-come-by, with his own money, then I think he was reasonable to be a bit annoyed that it was eaten. If you apologised and explained that you didn't realise it was his, then he should have accepted that. If you said 'my kitchen, I'll eat what I like' then I can understand his frustration.

Did he have his name on it? Did you eat it all and leave none for him?
If not, he's overreacting.

Of course he shouldn't have to hide his food in his room - how absurd.

Give him his own cupboard.

Its a poor state of affairs when someone begrudges their mother a bowl of cereal! If you'd eaten the lot and there was none left for him I can understand him being irritated, but going 'ballistic'? Sounds very mean spirited and unpleasant to me. I wouldn't stand for it in my house.

Mmm.... You can buy Lucky Charms in single serving pots. If this is what op scoffed then she was being a little disingenuous suggesting her dp might have bought it for the family to share!

I've had this discussion with DS because he brings food in to the house that I leave because I know it's not mine (no DH, so ownership more clearcut) but stays there until it's stale/out of date.

We have agreed that unless it's labeled or I've specifically been told it's earmarked for something it's fair game.