To eat some cereal that was in my kitchen

[Teenprobs]

My 19 year old son has just came in and went ballistic that his cereal he brought had been eaten. I assumed my DP had bought it when he did the shopping yesterday in tesco as normally we buy Aldi.

Just to clarify he usually eats elsewhere and sorts himself out, but he can 'eat' our food whenever he wants. I imagine he used My milk for 'his cereal'

To save the hassle I just said take it off your board this month.

AIBU, to think if he wants his own food he either needs to hide it in his room, or he needs to buy everything himself? Eg washing powder etc.

Tell your son to label it, if it is just for him as he bought it himself.

Yanbu, I would be so ashamed if my ds turned out like this. So utterly selfish and disgraceful of him.

@Johnnysgirl oh I actually didn't know you can get small boxes, are they like the Kellogs multipack size?? Yeah it would be hard to assume one tiny box of single serve cereal was for the whole family to share, I definitely would of checked who it belonged to and obviously assume it wasnt mine unless DP bought me it as treat cause he knows I love them, which case I would ask him first..... The shop around the corner from my house sells lucky charms but the box is huge, there pricey compared to regular cereal so I could why he'd be side eyeing her if she opened them but because the boxes I've bought have been huge, one bowl wouldn't have even been noticed by me unless the cereal thief opened the box before I had a chance to lol

I still couldn't imagine going ballistic over a bowl of cereal

No, it's a little plastic "on the go" pot for about £3 . God know what the family sized box costs.

I would clear half a fridge shelf, and tell him with a smile that he can use the space for his milk and orange juice, butter, jam, etc.

My kids are 22 and 17. They pay board. We have shared food cupboards but they both have their own space in the fridge and in a cupboard for things they have bought specially for themselves.
He definitely shouldn’t have gone ballistic at you but giving him a little space would solve the issue.

Could you organise some separate cupboard/fridge space for your son? Just thinking that might help.

Ds 18 has a mini fridge in his room..
He has 4 younger siblings so any cereal in view is fair game.
He wised up and also has a lock on his door!
Yabu to not have apologised.
Ime teens are territorial over a box of cereal.

I think you're both being a bit unreasonable.

He shouldn't have left it in a shared space if it wasn't for general consumption.
He shouldn't have gone ballistic at you.
You should have apologised when you realised a mistake had been made.
You should offer to replace it.

You should both work out together how to avoid this in future, without threatening or shouting at each other. Does he need some space in the kitchen? Or does he need to keep it in his room? (DP has special cereal as he's coeliac, we have a ton of stickers for his food, so DC don't eat or contaminate it)

@Johnnysgirl that's a pretty steep price for a treat pot, but then I always find single serve cereal and porridge pots such a rip off.... the big boxes are around €10 give or take, I only buy them occasionally cause of the sugar content but it lasts a while in my house even with a 2 DC (7 and 13 y/o)

I’d eat a box of cornflakes if it was in the kitchen. But if it was Lucky Charms or something similarly special I’d assume they belonged to someone.

We often label stuff we don’t want someone else to eat. DH writes his initials on the items that are for his packed lunch that week. I write my initials on my tub of Haagen Dazs. If it’s not initiated it’s fair game.

It's almost certainly unreasonable for him to go ballistic about it. I would be sympathetic to him though if it was particularly nice/expensive cereal, if he'd just bought it and you ate the whole thing, if this happens a lot etc.

Maybe it's time to reset expectations about food - it sounds like he pays board, so does some of that go towards the food bill? If yes then maybe he could have a bit more of a say in what gets bought? Or perhaps his own shelf where he can store anything that is "his" and you can ask if you want something off it?

Say you're sorry it was a misunderstanding and show him an empty shelf for his treats.

We need to know what this cereal was 👀

I've suggested this months ago he wasn't interested.

It was chocolate clusters, we buy them regularly but normally aldi, but my DP did a shop then I saw clusters haven't eaten the whole box, maybe 3 bowls between me and DP (we have maybe 10 cereal boxes In cupboard he wouldn't pay attention)

I've said i will replace them. But he's eaten my specific food before (low sugar choc bars when i was diabetic and pregnant for instance)

In a private rent in my area you would pay double and pay for food on top xx it's not the cereal it's just petty comments like i went away at the weekend and he went I've bought sugar you owe me....

Seriously??? Lol I was expecting it to be some expensive American import cereal like lucky charms or reeces... fecking choc clusters? Lol your DS needs to give his head a wobble... & you owe him for a bag of sugar too 😅 he clearly needs a dose of the real world if he can't appreciate how lucky he is to be able to live at home.. let's be real adult kids aren't doing their parents a favour living at home and offering token sums for board, it is very much the parents doing them a favour allowing them to save a fortune on rent/utilities and food elsewhere so they can afford nice treats like choc cluster 🙈 .... has he no friends living out on their own that could enlighten him? ... I couldn't imagine my mum not putting me straight if I went ballistic at her for eating my cereal, and rightly so she would be embarrassed to think she raised me to be so selfish...

He pays £200 a month. He doesn't do anything in the house. And he basically treats the house like a hotel i did a whole other post...

Xxx

@Teenprobs did he go ballistic at your dp too or just you?

I think I’d be having words about the fact that he could be renting alone and how much it would cost. I would do sod all for the little arse, shouting at you, how dare he?! I sincerely hope you don’t change his bedding/wash his clothes/make him meals?

Just me, as I was the only one that said it was me that ate some..

(A whole box wasn't eaten but a box is probably 4 or 5 bowls?) They aren't large boxes hence why we have loads of cereal in the cupboard but mainly boring cornflakes etc as clusters go so quick when I buy them hence the assumption that DP had bought them with the mini tesco shop as he knows they are liked lol)

He assumed it was his younger brother who ate it and started kicking off who's eaten my bloody cereal but his brother isn't here (he would have) I'm pregnant and fancied cereal, DP had been in hospital the night before didn't eat all day so just saw cereal and ate it..

Wasn't lucky charms was just branded chocolate clusters when we usually buy unbranded.. simple mistake but it just got my back up that I was being shouted at... thanks for your replies:)

I don't think you are being unreasonable. My daughter, her partner and I split the bills. As part of that, they but the food. Occasionally my daughter will ask me not to eat something as she's bought it for a specific meal, but usually, if it's in the kitchen, it's there for whoever wants it.

if the son didn't want anyone else to eat the cereal, he should , have said so.

No, I don't do any of his washing, I will cook for him if he's in the house and I'm doing a roast etc and he's here but he's never here he's always out, I'll wake up in the morning and he's cooked a pizza at 2am etc.

We have washing machine wars quite often, he will leave his in the machine all day, or chuck mine out so I've started doing the same to him.. and he insists on a 2.5 hour wash cycle.. loads of petty things but basically he's a jumped up teen that thinks he's a fully grown functional adult and has loads of money and I'm struggling to pay everything quite frankly with the cost of living.

He started moaning because the air dryer was in the garden and demanded that I went and got it and put it back so I told him to sod off and its still there haha..

He basically wants to act like a lodger (freedom, come in when he wants, not see or speak to anyone and use the facilities but have the cheap rent and benefits of living at home) I've reminded him that even though he's an adult it's still my house and I still have rules and he does nothing for the reason that he doesnt make any mess as he's never here (he does make mess just not as much as anyone else )

Sorry the subject has changed x

Just catch him when he's calm and say hey, you know about the cereal, I am sorry that I ate it without realising, but your reaction really upset me, I genuinely thought <DP> had bought it for everyone.

Hopefully he'll realise he was being out of line and apologise, seeing that you didn't go out of your way to eat it to annoy him. If not, it might open up a conversation about overreactions to a genuine mistake. Or he might even say you know, it's fine, you've bought me so much cereal over the years. Or he might be genuinely annoyed and then you can look into how to make it clearer if he's bought something he wants for his own consumption only.

Take the discussion out of the heat of the moment and you might get somewhere.

Your suggestion is probably much better than my initial (pregnant hormone induced) thought of buying 10 boxes and throwing them all over his bed.