I really need some external perspective on this. I’ve been stressed and anxious recently and I cannot work out if I’m being completely unreasonable or not.
My husband invited his parents down to help with DIY as we’re shortly putting our flat on the market. We have 2 young children. I don’t get on well with his parents (nothing specific, just not close).
Over a few days they were really helpful and the house looks great (painting etc.). BUT as well as doing DIY, I feel they just generally took over the flat (this isn’t the only time its happened, but definitely the most intense). Here’s some of the things that annoyed me the most:
• They arrived around 8.30pm in the evening, about 30 mins after we’d got the kids to bed. I was sitting down (for the first time that evening after nursery pick up and bedtime chaos). Within 10 minutes of arriving, were tidying up mess left by the kids and dinner plates that we’d left on the table. I asked them 3 times to stop and leave it. They wouldn’t. I actually said, ‘I’d really prefer you didn’t do that as I’m going to do it shortly’. They didn’t stop and I had to get up and ask my MIL to give me the cloth and I finished it myself there and then.
• Came into my home office twice after I explicitly told them not to (I made a big point after the first time and asked them to take out anything from the room they thought they might need). They still came in two more times without knocking.
• Told me that my bedsheet that was in the wash still had the bloodstain on from my period and asked me where they should soak it. I said, please don’t do anything with it and took it off them and put it out of their sight.
• Hung up my washing, including my pants! (They didn;t need the washing machine for anything.)
• I waited until no one was in the kitchen to take some baby cups out the dishwasher that shouldn’t go in and wash them by hand. Unfortunately FIL came back in and told me I was doing it wrong and I should put them in the dishwasher. (They're my f*cking cups, I think I know how to wash them up!)
There’s more examples, but they’re all of the same ilk.
I just feel they take over the place completely and disregard anything I say. It feels so intrusive. I can't explain why but I hate it soooo much and, partly as a result of that and probably partly other stuff, I am just cold and rude to them.
My husband says he simply cannot see my perspective. His parents are trying to be helpful (and are in many respects).
Am I reasonable to be pissed off or am I being a d*ck?
What can I do? The situation is going to get worse as they're probably going to 'help' when we move house. The idea of their involvement is already making me feel annoyed/anxious.