Page 4 | Painting 5 year old dds toe nails

LittleMissEs · 2022-08-23T15:47:06+00:00

We are off on holiday tomorrow, I painted my daughters toe nails, DH has thrown a tantrum and told me to remove it talking about it being inappropriate etc, I tried to compromise suggesting to change it to clear purple glitter husband is adamant he wants it off before our trip tomorrow. AIBU to refuse to remove it…. Is it such a big deal ? I mean I couldn’t care less if her toes are painted or not, she asked and I obliged.

bakewellbride · 23/08/2022 20:01

I wouldn't like it or approve of it personally but in dh's shoes I'd have just let it go, not demand to have it removed! Your dh needs to be flexible.

georgarina · 23/08/2022 20:04

DS4 used to always ask for his nails done when I was doing mine (doesn't have the patience to wait for them to dry anymore lol)

Nothing wrong with it at all. If anything I'd go for the children's water based polish as it's chemical free but otherwise not an issue in my opinion.

DinosaurDuvet · 23/08/2022 20:09

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/08/2022 16:50

I'd also question why his opinion on this is more important than yours.

This 💯

perimenofertility · 23/08/2022 20:12

@Kanaloa There's a difference between things that make you look different from each other (different clothes for example) and things that make you look older/enhanced (eg make up).
To me, make up (yes, including nail varnish as I said before) is too old for 5 year olds and I wouldn't have put it on her.

Haudyourwheesht · 23/08/2022 20:13

I did my 3 and 5 year old's before we went on holiday. I'm pretty against make up for children but really don't see the harm in it.

wouldukissafrog · 23/08/2022 20:14

I let my DD 5 have her nails painted in pale pink at the nail salon before our holiday, I was getting mine done and she came along and asked- I didn't hesitate she loved it

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/08/2022 20:24

HildaHedgehog · 23/08/2022 19:11

I can only think of one reason why a reasonable person might object to a little girl having her toenails painted - and that's because they fear some freakish pervert out there who sees her might sexualize it, and use it as an excuse to sexualize her.

Now, bear in mind, I am about the most fundamentalist, hard-line anti-sexualization-of-children person you could ever meet. I find those weird 1990s kiddie-beauty-pageant things where they dress 2-year-olds up in very sexualized clothing with full glamour-make-up stomach-churning and horrific. I find hijabs on little pre-pubescent girls very similar (hijab is a practice of grown women who want to assert sexual privacy from men, and should have nothing to do with little kids).

But we are NOT talking about putting your daughter in full glamour-model face make-up here. And we're NOT talking about dressing her in sexualized adult-style clothing. We're talking about painting her sodding toenails with glittery nail varnish. ANYONE who sexualizes that is, by definition, sick in the head, and needs putting on a list that stops them going near playgrounds. You, your daughter, and your husband, should NOT have to worry about your little girl wearing a bit of glitter on her toenails.

Of course, even the youngest children, especially (but not only) girls, should learn about privacy and boundaries and protecting themselves from people out there who aren't always benign. But none of us should have to forgo every innocent bit of fun in our lives because there are bad people out there. There is nothing inherently sexual about glittery decorated nails, and anyone, of any age, of either sex, should be able to have a little bit of fun with that kind of thing.

The trouble is that the man thinking that probably has issues of his own about women who wear nail polish.

My ex (and he wasn't an ex at the time) went absolutely batshit over the same. Because, apparently, women who wear nail varnish are all whores, without exception.

It was the first glaring red flag. It got far, far worse.

CallmeMrsPricklepants · 23/08/2022 20:24

perimenofertility · 23/08/2022 20:12

@Kanaloa There's a difference between things that make you look different from each other (different clothes for example) and things that make you look older/enhanced (eg make up).
To me, make up (yes, including nail varnish as I said before) is too old for 5 year olds and I wouldn't have put it on her.

There's a difference between red adult nails and kids nails that look like a mercorn vomited on them. The latter don't make anyone look grown up. It's like saying that a full face of Mac is the same as getting your face painted like a tiger at the school fete.

sammysal · 23/08/2022 20:25

Seems unnecessary. Wouldn't encourage. And gel toes at 6?!

CocoC · 23/08/2022 20:29

I am VERY anti make-up on children, but this is totally different. It's just like colourful 'war paint', and absolutely nothing sexualising or even overly feminine.

I will do my kids if they ask me (now 9 and 7 but have done this for years). Mine generally want each toe in a different colour - so one pink, one blue, one purple etc.
We don't do the hands - only the feet.

Kanaloa · 23/08/2022 20:40

perimenofertility · 23/08/2022 20:12

@Kanaloa There's a difference between things that make you look different from each other (different clothes for example) and things that make you look older/enhanced (eg make up).
To me, make up (yes, including nail varnish as I said before) is too old for 5 year olds and I wouldn't have put it on her.

So how is coloured toenails any different from a sparkly hair bow? The hair bow is also ‘enhancing’ the child. And as for ‘makes you look older’ I’d hardly think ‘crikey that toddler has blue toenails - she’s obviously actually 17.’ Realistically it’s a non damaging non permanent way of expressing yourself - no different from clothes or accessories.

PinkDaffodil2 · 23/08/2022 20:44

My 3 year old has pink toenails the same shade as me - she asked very nicely, I checked it was safe (which it is!) and she was very very careful while they dried!
Surely it’s dressing up like a hair bow or sparkly sandals, not a full face of makeup or something to make her look older.

heartbroken22 · 23/08/2022 20:46

I don't get how it's inappropriate? My 5 year old loves painting her nails. It's not like she's a prostitute for wearing it.

quitefranklyabsurd · 23/08/2022 20:46

Remove it and all you are doing is teaching your daughter that a man has more say over her body than she does.

It’s a v slippery slope. If she wants it to stay it should stay.

Her body her choice.

DeadButDelicious · 23/08/2022 21:05

I don't think it's inappropriate at all! It's just a bit of fun! My DD (also 5) loves having her toes done. And her finger nails. She wanted them painted black like me the other week and I happily obliged. It comes off! I'd tell him to get a grip.

bluesky45 · 23/08/2022 21:43

I've been painting my kids nails since they were 4 and 2 coz they wanted it. My older Ds got water based kids varnish for Christmas so we used that at first but it literally comes off as soon as they wash their hands. Both ds (now 4 and 3) wear my normal nail varnish occasionally now. It's only dress up.

Nuisancepenguin · 23/08/2022 21:49

What does your DH find inappropriate about it, OP? I’ve been doing my 5 year old’s toenails for a couple of years now for holidays. It’s harmless fun and usually rubs off very quickly once she’s played on the beach.

user1583920194858592910103848559201 · 23/08/2022 21:49

My daughters been getting her finger and toenails painted since she was 1. No big deal.

Original poster

LittleMissEs · 23/08/2022 22:19

My DH seems to think I am introducing her to being obsessed with looks, making her vain… which is absolutely not the case she requested it. I did a terrible job of painting because by this evening some of the paint was already rubbing off… I have removed it now, to keep the peace, because it seems so trivial to argue over nail polish on a kid, which to be honest I would never have put on her if she didn’t ask. I really don’t feel happy, that DH has made a complete fuss over this, which ultimately led to me taking the polish off. My daughter was a little upset initally, I just told her she could only keep it on for the day and i was taking it off at bed time, which she seemed to accept. I’m just peeved because DH is utterly ridiculous, it seems so trivial to argue over, at the same time he is being totally unreasonable, we are going on holiday tomorrow, so I’m contemplating to just let it go, but at the same time I’m pissed off.

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SunshineLoving · 23/08/2022 22:23

It's a bit of fun. Like wearing glitter or a temporary tattoo press on. You're not putting a full face of makeup on her.

Why is your DH's opinion more important than yours? Why are you removing the nail varnish to keep the peace? He could have apologised for overreacting to keep the peace.

Original poster

LittleMissEs · 23/08/2022 22:44

I 100% agree, but I suppose one of us has to be the adult in this relationship, to think the purpose of the holiday is a celebration of our 10 year anniversary

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Kanaloa · 23/08/2022 22:47

So being the adult is letting your daughter know that you’ll remove nail polish that makes her happy if daddy bullies you both about it? That doesn’t seem like a good relationship to be honest.

Mariposista · 23/08/2022 23:12

Come on, a bit of nail varnish isn’t turning the kid into a prostitute! She just likes the dress up and sparkly colours aspect at this age. I would agree that she shouldn’t have it on her hands for school but most little girls like sparkly toenails on a holiday, usually one in each colour! Take care OP as your daughter grows up - I bet he will be the sort to bully her over her clothing choices, ‘take that skirt off, it’s too short/you’re not going out dressed like that/get that make up off’. You will need to advocate for her…

MistyRock · 24/08/2022 02:59

LittleMissEs · 23/08/2022 22:19

My DH seems to think I am introducing her to being obsessed with looks, making her vain… which is absolutely not the case she requested it. I did a terrible job of painting because by this evening some of the paint was already rubbing off… I have removed it now, to keep the peace, because it seems so trivial to argue over nail polish on a kid, which to be honest I would never have put on her if she didn’t ask. I really don’t feel happy, that DH has made a complete fuss over this, which ultimately led to me taking the polish off. My daughter was a little upset initally, I just told her she could only keep it on for the day and i was taking it off at bed time, which she seemed to accept. I’m just peeved because DH is utterly ridiculous, it seems so trivial to argue over, at the same time he is being totally unreasonable, we are going on holiday tomorrow, so I’m contemplating to just let it go, but at the same time I’m pissed off.

He sounds like another man that thinks he's 'the big man'. What he says goes. Not a good start to the holiday. Maybe try to forget about it until after the holiday and then tell him how pissed off you are/were.

Original poster

LittleMissEs · 24/08/2022 05:02

It’s going to be a long 10 days …

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