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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Painting 5 year old dds toe nails

113 replies

LittleMissEs · 23/08/2022 16:47

We are off on holiday tomorrow, I painted my daughters toe nails, DH has thrown a tantrum and told me to remove it talking about it being inappropriate etc, I tried to compromise suggesting to change it to clear purple glitter husband is adamant he wants it off before our trip tomorrow. AIBU to refuse to remove it…. Is it such a big deal ? I mean I couldn’t care less if her toes are painted or not, she asked and I obliged.

OP posts:
Sandysandwich · 23/08/2022 18:41

perimenofertility · 23/08/2022 18:30

I actually disagree with most, I think 5 is too young. You say you painted them - did she ask to have it done or did you offer it?
If she asked then I'd be inclined to leave it on now it's on. If you did it for your own amusement then I'd remove it.

@perimenofertility
OP said that the child asked,
Can I ask why you think 5 is too young?
I can't see anything adult about painted toenails, its fun, temporary, no damage and there is no need to look after them etc

Angelinflipflops · 23/08/2022 18:42

Is she allowed to colour her nails in the felt tips?

Libmama · 23/08/2022 18:43

My 3yo DS currently has bright red toenails because he’s lightning McQueen!

MajorCarolDanvers · 23/08/2022 18:45

I think its too young and I can see why your DH wants it removed. But its not the end of the world.

TheFairyCaravan · 23/08/2022 18:45

I’m 51 and can remember sitting, with my sister, on my mum’s bed having our toenails painted the night before we went on holiday, when we were little.

What’s wrong with it? It’s not like she’s getting a tattoo is it?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/08/2022 18:52

I think it's fine.

Make up makes you look older and can make you look more attractive (larger eyes, clearer skin, less tired, bigger lips etc etc) which has slightly sexual connotations.

I've never heard any man ever say they thought someone was sexy because their nails were painted, or someone let into a bar because their nails made them look so grown up. As long as it's not impractical talons, there are no other connotations to painted nails...its literally just a bit of colour

TidyDancer · 23/08/2022 18:55

He's being ridiculous. What is his issue with it?

InsertPunHere · 23/08/2022 18:58

He's being daft. My 5yo sons loved getting their nails painted.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/08/2022 18:59

When dd was 5 she had her finger and toe nails painted when she was on holiday as a treat with the tiniest little flowers on each nail.

HildaHedgehog · 23/08/2022 19:11

I can only think of one reason why a reasonable person might object to a little girl having her toenails painted - and that's because they fear some freakish pervert out there who sees her might sexualize it, and use it as an excuse to sexualize her.

Now, bear in mind, I am about the most fundamentalist, hard-line anti-sexualization-of-children person you could ever meet. I find those weird 1990s kiddie-beauty-pageant things where they dress 2-year-olds up in very sexualized clothing with full glamour-make-up stomach-churning and horrific. I find hijabs on little pre-pubescent girls very similar (hijab is a practice of grown women who want to assert sexual privacy from men, and should have nothing to do with little kids).

But we are NOT talking about putting your daughter in full glamour-model face make-up here. And we're NOT talking about dressing her in sexualized adult-style clothing. We're talking about painting her sodding toenails with glittery nail varnish. ANYONE who sexualizes that is, by definition, sick in the head, and needs putting on a list that stops them going near playgrounds. You, your daughter, and your husband, should NOT have to worry about your little girl wearing a bit of glitter on her toenails.

Of course, even the youngest children, especially (but not only) girls, should learn about privacy and boundaries and protecting themselves from people out there who aren't always benign. But none of us should have to forgo every innocent bit of fun in our lives because there are bad people out there. There is nothing inherently sexual about glittery decorated nails, and anyone, of any age, of either sex, should be able to have a little bit of fun with that kind of thing.

chinuptitsoutonwards · 23/08/2022 19:13

Hapoydayz · 23/08/2022 16:55

Why does he think he gets the final say?

This.

does she want them done? Yes. She can have them done. It’s her body.

Kanaloa · 23/08/2022 19:15

MajorCarolDanvers · 23/08/2022 18:45

I think its too young and I can see why your DH wants it removed. But its not the end of the world.

Why? Like you said you can ‘see why it’s too young’ but why is it too young? It’s paint on her toenails, not a face tattoo.

I work in childcare and see lots of kids with painted nails. What’s ‘inappropriate’ about it? Unless he’s suggesting it’s somehow sexualised your 5 year old to put some colourful paint on her toes, but of course that would be nuts.

doitwithlove · 23/08/2022 19:19

As DH if he would like his painted the same colour 🤣

He sounds an absolute kill joy.

Amumto4crotchgoblins · 23/08/2022 19:28

I honestly cannot understand what his problem is. I have 3 boys ages 26, 15 and 2, and girl of 7 and all of my children have asked for their nails painted when they were young as they saw me do mine.
Lots of male and female icons today have paint on their nails as well as wearing make up so i cannot see why you OH as such a problem with it kn this day and age and i think he is being very OTT for odd reasons

TowerRavenSeven · 23/08/2022 19:29

yanbu…wait until she starts dating!

Perfect28 · 23/08/2022 19:31

What's with the 'just for fun' comments? Isn't nail polish always just for fun?

LoveMeForARaisin · 23/08/2022 19:33

My girls (7 and 5) always have their nails painted. We love a wee pamper session. We also buy the kids face masks from home bargains and they have them in the bath then get their fingers are toes done after the bath. It’s lovely. School don’t seem remotely bothered in fact my eldest’s teacher last year would often compliment her on her lovely nails.

lemmein · 23/08/2022 19:39

Libmama · 23/08/2022 18:43

My 3yo DS currently has bright red toenails because he’s lightning McQueen!

Aww that made me smile Grin

OP your DH is being ridiculous.

perimenofertility · 23/08/2022 19:43

@Sandysandwich
"Can I ask why you think 5 is too young?"
Because I see nail varnish in the same way as other types of make up, and I think 5 is too young for any form of make up. Some might think it's fun, I don't, I just think it's unnecessary.
In general, decorating the body with anything - make up, jewellery - is done because we want to make ourselves look and/or feel better. And we feel good when someone notices us and compliments us on looking nice.
5 is just so young to be introduced to the idea of "if I put this colour on my nails I will feel pretty".

MissMaple82 · 23/08/2022 19:44

Tell him to do one, he's being pathetic

MissMaple82 · 23/08/2022 19:45

I take my 6 year old for gel toes in the salon! She loves it

Sandysandwich · 23/08/2022 19:45

Perfect28 · 23/08/2022 19:31

What's with the 'just for fun' comments? Isn't nail polish always just for fun?

Maybe when its like that woman from Holes who painted her nails red with rattlesnake venom so she could kill a man with a scratch.
I think thats the only nails painted with an agenda that I have seen.

Kanaloa · 23/08/2022 19:47

perimenofertility · 23/08/2022 19:43

@Sandysandwich
"Can I ask why you think 5 is too young?"
Because I see nail varnish in the same way as other types of make up, and I think 5 is too young for any form of make up. Some might think it's fun, I don't, I just think it's unnecessary.
In general, decorating the body with anything - make up, jewellery - is done because we want to make ourselves look and/or feel better. And we feel good when someone notices us and compliments us on looking nice.
5 is just so young to be introduced to the idea of "if I put this colour on my nails I will feel pretty".

So 5 is too young to wear a necklace or bracelet? Or have face paint on, or wear a hair band or hair bows or anything except a plain bobble?

I mean in that case surely there’s no point of wearing any nice clothes, and all kids should be dressed in a plain grey tunic and leggings until they’re old enough to appreciate the finer points of ‘decorating yourself?’

MsSquiz · 23/08/2022 19:55

My dd is 2.5 and has asked for "blue nails" for her holiday so I've ordered some kids peel off nail varnish for her and it will be kept for special occasions. I don't see the problem at all.
My niece and nephew are 5 and they often ask SIL to paint their nails when she does hers

Blossomtoes · 23/08/2022 20:00

5 is just so young to be introduced to the idea of "if I put this colour on my nails I will feel pretty".

Most five year olds feel that instinctively which is why they ask to have their nails painted.

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