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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husbands inheritance

335 replies

lisaloves · 22/08/2022 22:17

DH has inherited 15k from an Aunt who sadly passed.

We are very happily married with 2 DCs. Comfortable financially but certainly not loaded. Huge mortgage and things we need to do to the house etc.

DH wants to put the entire amount in to Bitcoin. He's reluctantly agreed to just put half in to Bitcoin and the other half in to our joint ISA.

AIBU to think this is selfish?

For reference I am the bread winner by a country mile and we share all of our income. I never question this so it now feels unfair that his money is 'his' money - when for a long time I've earned much more and it's all been shared money.

I don't know much about Bitcoin but from what I've read it's very risky business.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Sazzasez · 24/08/2022 20:19

LindaEllen · 23/08/2022 10:15

We bought 3 when they were £3k, sold them at £52k each and paid our mortgage off and got a new car each, plus added to our premium bonds significantly.

Mug's game?

Only if you don't know how to play.

Show quote history

Do you have a time machine you can lend the OP so her DH can do what you did? I didn’t think so.

When I found out how bitcoin is “mined” I realised it’s just another way to rape the planet & atmosphere for absolute no social
value whatsoever.

Grannyto2 · 24/08/2022 20:24

A family member researched crypto ie Bitcoin for years. Invested several thousand pounds then bought a million pound house cash. Its tempting but risky .

Dibbydoos · 24/08/2022 20:26

I'm not sure all the doom and gloom ref bitcoin is right.

We are going to get more digitised not less. Just because it's nit regulated doesn't mean it will be worthless - wish I'd bought in when it was 25c a bitcoin when it first launched!

You can use bitcoin like other currency, its pretty low value st the mo compared with where it was, so your hubby may have played a blinder. If nit it's, hopefully, not a huge loss.

Ref the money situ though, yiu def need to sort it. You need access to his bitcoin account too cos if anything happens to him, you may need to deal with tge account. My hubby died and gave me no access to the account in Spain. He threw £65k into his business venture and I've no idea how much is left in the account. I worked, he didn't. So much for being in EU, they told me I had to do probate in UK and Spain abd hibestky it was painfull enough doing it in UK let alone Spain..

Chuck2015 · 24/08/2022 20:27

I would say if he wants to do this then it’s time to split everything else 50/50 regardless of personal income. Have been here several times!

Miffee · 24/08/2022 20:37

Cailleachian · 24/08/2022 19:40

@Miffee "Can I use bitcoin at Asda?

Yes.

You can use services like Bitrefill to purchase supermarket gift vouchers, or crypto credit cards like crypto,com to pay by card.

So that's a no then.

😂

Sazzasez · 24/08/2022 20:37

I may be in a slightly similar case, as I recently found out I am a beneficiary of a relative’s will - unexpectedly. It’s likely to be a bit more than 15k.

If I had a mortgage it would absolutely be my first priority to pay off what I could, especially as interest rates are going to rise & earnings are always uncertain. As it happens I own it outright & did before we met.

We’ve discussed what we might do with it. He’s retired & not in best of health and - apart from the house being mine - I’ve probably earned a bit more than him over the years. On the other hand, he’s nursed me through cancer. So I think we’re even, really.

Hoping we can take a few good trips with the grandkids & DiL, and maybe get solar panels on the house...

I wouldn’t buy bitcoin. If I have a few quid to invest I’d really do something useful with it.

BarnabyRocks · 24/08/2022 20:40

My BIL recently lost £50k on bitcoin, just saying.
He may as well have gone straight down the bookies and stuck it all on a horse.

Miffee · 24/08/2022 20:45

Dibbydoos · 24/08/2022 20:26

I'm not sure all the doom and gloom ref bitcoin is right.

We are going to get more digitised not less. Just because it's nit regulated doesn't mean it will be worthless - wish I'd bought in when it was 25c a bitcoin when it first launched!

You can use bitcoin like other currency, its pretty low value st the mo compared with where it was, so your hubby may have played a blinder. If nit it's, hopefully, not a huge loss.

Ref the money situ though, yiu def need to sort it. You need access to his bitcoin account too cos if anything happens to him, you may need to deal with tge account. My hubby died and gave me no access to the account in Spain. He threw £65k into his business venture and I've no idea how much is left in the account. I worked, he didn't. So much for being in EU, they told me I had to do probate in UK and Spain abd hibestky it was painfull enough doing it in UK let alone Spain..

You absolutely cannot use it like any other money. You can sell it to obscure vendors who will pay you in vouchers. The amount of places you can actually buy stuff with it has decreased over time. This is because its nothing. It's not real. It means nothing.

Now the thing is cryptobros much like bossbabes have their tried and true lines to combat this. They will point out thay actually all currency is the same, it isn't real. They are correct. Money has the value we give it and its absolutely depends on the vast majority of people agreeing on that meaning. The problem is with bitcoin is the longer it has existed the less consensus there is, the more people, governments and businesses think its bollocks and withdraw from it. That's why you can't spend it and that's why it's tanked.

The children stopped believing in fairies and only the saddest of marks are still being convinced to clap their hands.

TokidokiBarbie · 24/08/2022 20:45

Not read the whole thread, but when it's the other way around the female OP is usually told inheritances are her money. Tbf, it's never a bad idea for the lower earner to have an escape fund if they're financially dependent on their spouse.

Bard6817 · 24/08/2022 20:48

Bitcoin is only worth what someone else is prepared to buy it from you at. This different to any other asset where you can expect a dividend, a rental income, etc. If bitcoin tanks tmrw, it wouldn’t surprise many people if it doubled, some would say it’s going to go higher. It’s 100% gambling, whereas investments in stock or funds is only 70% gambling in my opinion.

If it was me, a seasoned investor, i’d pop it into fundsmith equity, or vanguard us equity index fund and hope their averages over the past decade continue into the next. Don’t expect to be able to spend any for 5 to 10 years to maximise your return. Longer if you wish to make a huge dent in your mortgage at some point with it, or use at as an early retirement or safety net pot.

As far as BU, i don’t think you are being unreasonable about ‘whose’ money it is when you’ve had a joint approach for many years. However i do see similar posts when the female gets the inheritance and there’s been joint finances and there’s lots of support for it being her money. Heads you win, tails he loses.

Good luck.

MetaPad · 24/08/2022 20:52

Beneficialchampion · 24/08/2022 19:05

Loads of folk on here talking about bitcoin like they're experts because the market is bearish and they read it was a Ponzi scheme in the daily mail.

Bitcoin is a pretty solid long term investment, bear and bull markets come in cycles (just like every other asset class). Only invest what you can afford to lose (just like any investment). If he does invest in bitcoin, get a hardware wallet for added security. Be prepared to wait 3-4 years before seeing some serious gains again which will be a year or so after the next halving. Don't shit yourself if the price decreases again, it is likely, crypto is volatile and easily manipulated to shake out the weak hands (99% of Mumsnet). Whales will deliberately manipulate the price to trigger massive sell offs and will then buy back at an even lower price. (Just like investment bankers)

Been investing in crypto for around 5 years, dollar cost averaged all of my investments and have spread my risk. Have made 6 figures from an initial 2k investment in the last two years alone.

Putting money in the bank is a mugs game and quite frankly some of the worst advice I hear on a day to day. It will never keep up with inflation and will just sit there depreciating. Do your research, invest in some good funds (mix of crypto, stocks, shares etc) diversify your portfolio and you stand to make a decent amount of money.

As the old saying goes (my fellow investors will back this) time IN the market is better than TIMING the market

Oh, and make sure you pay the right taxes on your gains...

Wise words. Bitcoin has been pronounced dead 452 times in mainstream media. But even though its value against the dollar value is down this year (so far) 1 Bitcoin is still worth 1 Bitcoin. Whereas 1 dollar or pound won't buy much compared to 10 years ago, 20 years ago etc. I'm DCAing Bitcoin into both my daughter's wallets as it's a safe bet for the future. Adoption and usage continues to grow. The value of a bitcoin against the dollar is - almost - inconsequential.

wentworthinmate · 24/08/2022 21:22

I watched a program recently about Bitcoin. It’s tanked. Tell him to find it on catch up, watch it and stop being an idiot. He really has no idea about things!

wentworthinmate · 24/08/2022 21:30

Found the link:

Seen 'Cryptocurrency: Has the Bubble Burst?'? Watch it here on All 4:

www.channel4.com/programmes/cryptocurrency-has-the-bubble-burst?cntsrc=social_share_ios_cryptocurrency_has_the_bubble_burst

user1491320660 · 24/08/2022 22:03

lisaloves · 22/08/2022 22:17

DH has inherited 15k from an Aunt who sadly passed.

We are very happily married with 2 DCs. Comfortable financially but certainly not loaded. Huge mortgage and things we need to do to the house etc.

DH wants to put the entire amount in to Bitcoin. He's reluctantly agreed to just put half in to Bitcoin and the other half in to our joint ISA.

AIBU to think this is selfish?

For reference I am the bread winner by a country mile and we share all of our income. I never question this so it now feels unfair that his money is 'his' money - when for a long time I've earned much more and it's all been shared money.

I don't know much about Bitcoin but from what I've read it's very risky business.

I am crypto/bitcoin trader. It is a lot of work to research the markets and make predictions using math models. I am a data scientist/physicist by day and use crypto to supplement my income. Crypto trading is not for the faint hearted and is no quick rich method. Anyone considering trading must know exactly what they are doing and be very careful. There is no protection and a person really can lose all their money. In my opinion bitcoin will continue level for the rest of the year and next year it is hard to tell. My investments are across many coins because having all your money in one coin is not sensible.

Wiscowoman87 · 25/08/2022 00:16

Agreed... it's possible to make money with Bitcoin, but it's a HUGE learning curve to get into Bitcoin (it's like learning another language with the terminology!) AND and a HUGE time-sucker. Unless you have a load of time to spend learning about and managing your portfolio, please treat it like it is - another way to gamble with your money. No different than budgeting some pin money for an evening at the casino, knowing that you may or may not recoup that money. But don't expect to retire as a Bitcoin millionaire... speaking from experience... 😵‍💫

naffusername · 25/08/2022 00:28

My husband just inherited $2million. First thing he said was "what are we going to do"?

Our mortgage is paid off and our children are adults. Our first priority is helping the sons a bit.

It might be "his" inheritance but he knows that my income paid off the mortgage and has been the "fun" money for the last 20 years.

Bitcoin? Stay away

Wiscowoman87 · 25/08/2022 02:19

user1491320660
"Crypto trading is not for the faint hearted and is no quick rich method. Anyone considering trading must know exactly what they are doing and be very careful. There is no protection and a person really can lose all their money."

Exactly. We are in the US, and what made me super-nervous about our Bitcoin investments is that unlike money in a bank that's backed by the US Federal Reserve, there is no centralized regulation or control with Bitcoin... which is why it can go sky-high and plunge precipitously both.

We got caught in a downturn, lost money and didn't have the stomach or money to risk more loss.

We're well out of Bitcoin.

YDBear · 25/08/2022 03:17

Not only is he being selfish, he’s also being extraordinarily stupid. Bitcoin is for easily manipulated idiots. A single Google search will net you enough stories of woe to prove that. He might as well bet the whole inheritance on a game of “find the lady.”

oosha · 25/08/2022 04:57

His inheritance, his money, his choice.

YDBear · 25/08/2022 06:09

I’m shocked at this “inheritance belongs to whoever inherited it to squander as they like” idea so prevalent here. But then again I never understood the idea of his and hers finances. Surely any windfall that comes to either partner should be used for the benefit of the family in a manner agreed by both partners. The idea of investing 15,000 in bitcoin when it could be used to pay down a mortgage is scandalous. It’s like people don’t think collective decisions in a marriage are important and personal gratification is more important than collective prudence.

Namedifferentorquestion · 25/08/2022 08:10

THIS

"TokidokiBarbie · Yesterday 20:45
Not read the whole thread, but when it's the other way around the female OP is usually told inheritances are her money. Tbf, it's never a bad idea for the lower earner to have an escape fund if they're financially dependent on their spouse."

Endlesslypatient82 · 25/08/2022 08:16

Namedifferentorquestion · 25/08/2022 08:10

THIS

"TokidokiBarbie · Yesterday 20:45
Not read the whole thread, but when it's the other way around the female OP is usually told inheritances are her money. Tbf, it's never a bad idea for the lower earner to have an escape fund if they're financially dependent on their spouse."

In vast majority of cases the woman will want to spend it solely on family or the children

RayneDance · 25/08/2022 08:26

I can't understand why it has to be the entire amount he wants to squander.
If op has said he wants to keep 2 grand for bitcoin...I would think prat but nothing wrong with keeping some for himself!

girlmom21 · 25/08/2022 08:30

RayneDance · 25/08/2022 08:26

I can't understand why it has to be the entire amount he wants to squander.
If op has said he wants to keep 2 grand for bitcoin...I would think prat but nothing wrong with keeping some for himself!

Well he's agreed to put half in savings

Everanewbie · 25/08/2022 09:38

If a complete novice decided that they wanted to invest their life savings in trading in volatile non-government backed foreign currency, you'd rightly say they were mad. Because its the vogue thing, people overlook the insanity. It's a bit like people taking out a mortgage to fund a buy to let. If you suggested someone take out a 6 figure loan to invest in any other asset you'd say they were reckless.