Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

Purely because you've said you're on the £10 a day thread and you have a BA, have you thought about teaching ESL from home? I do this as a full time job.

I've name changed for this, however, feel free to DM me.

Eh?! Do you apply the same (lack of) logic to taxation percentages?! Thought not.

Mumsnet simply angers me at times. So many people who have no personal experience of the issues thinking they are giving good advice.

Disabled people wait years for adapted council properties. I was told for my mum she would wait 9 months as an urgent case even for a downstairs toilet to be put in. She would have been dead by then. I paid for it.
Adapted bungalows are in very short supply. What is usually available are tiny 1 or 2-bedroom places with a galley kitchen and small living room. Fine for a single person or couple, but not suitable for a family with young children.
There are many people living in their living rooms in a hospital bed and with a commode because they can not get upstairs and there are no properties.

OP life is getting very tough for many people. Our family have the same level of income as you. It is not a particularly low income for an ordinary family. Mumsnet is not the place to post. There are too many rich people here who are incredibly judgemental.

She has an under occupied 5 bed
its not a little 2. Bed bungalow with a went room

its a 5 bed for 97 a week

^ Actually I think too many struggling people who are really angry.

What IfSheOnlyKnewThen said.

MN is - in the main - populated with people who are comfortably off and well insulated from financial difficulties.

Which is the reason there are so many ignorant responses to this thread.

Op - I'm sorry you may have to give up your mobility car. I hope you guys can find a way around it.

I cycled past a line of people queuing for a food bank today. It made me feel so bloody sad.

Jesus Christ, there are some vile arseholes on this thread.

I'm going to say I don't know why people are so shocked?

We have a 31k income, 4 kids and have always shopped with ease and had holidays but we don't have loans or car finance etc.

This is Mumsnet, where people with disabilities are just asking for it.

@middleofthelittle I'm with you too but suspect I'll be flamed for this.. I'm a single mum who pays 40% tax and ''earns too much'' to be eligible for any support - well not strictly true - I get free prescriptions owing to my medical conditions which are not curable so I just have to pop the pills, suck up how shit I feel daily and all the other limitations they imply. Yet I raise my child alone and work 70+ hours a week so I can afford to work and support my one child (after I've paid near half of my income in tax & NIC, then the rest on childcare). Not even in my wildest dreams will I ever have a home of my own, let alone one that costs me £97 a week, or £34K to spend.. not had a holiday in over 10 years, don't imagine I will have one any time soon either. Big fat roasts once a week & picking up whatever I want in the supermarket? hilarious... I couldn't afford have another child let alone 4! I wish I had £2400 in my pocket after rent... The ultimate irony: high earners have it 'so easy and absolutely should pay high taxes'.. yet these same high earners who fund these benefits make less money than people who choose to have large families and claim benefits...

Honestly stuff like this makes I wonder why the hell I work. I must be a real mug.

well, this thread has turned out quite nasty hasn’t it. We’ve got some shaming for having 4 kids, for having a disability, for claiming income, for earning a below average salary , for having a council house. It’s mumsnet bitches bingo! All we need now is a bit of fat shaming and we’ve got a full house.

now listen, lots of people earn a below average salary. And if they do, we shouldn’t expect them to eat dirt and live in rags and squalor. How very dare OP have lived a decent lifestyle?

OP, I know where you’re coming from. We are not poor nor rich, but yeah, living the same lifestyle as we did pre COVID is just not affordable anymore: and will only get worse by the looks of it

Often it’s called common sense! Besides just because that was your experience it doesn’t mean everybody’s experience is as poor. My mother downsized from a three bed house to a ground floor flat and her adaptions were done within the first fews weeks.
I disagree it’s not necessarily the rich hear that a judgemental, it’s those that have gone through similar and give him realistic opinions and views.

I completely understand ... my husband & I are in a dire situation too, so much so that I really don't know how to cope with it anymore!
My husband was ready to retire a few months ago ( he's 66+ ) but due to the cost of living ( especially power prices) that is now on hold.. He has a very physical job and drives an hour there and back everyday ( so petrol prices are also impacting our finances) We very recently moved from a large flat to a smaller 2 bed house.... Our gas/ electric bill has gone up from about £70 a month to £300, DH's take home pay after tax is £1,100 per month.... so after paying rent, council tax, gas/electricity and petrol we now have about £200 a month to live on.
I have been trying to find a job for months now but as I don't drive and we live in quite a rural area there is not a lot of opportunities about.. I worked from home during a good part of lockdown but that work has now dried up.. For the first ever I applied for benefits only to be told that I didn't qualify as I hadn't paid enough tax during 2020) Like the original poster - we are very frugal with shopping but even buying the cheapest foods eg pasta etc doesn't help a lot as it takes time/costs quite a bit to cook.. we have a small meter that shows what we are using on a daily/weekly basis and it terrifies me every time I have to use the cooker/ micro or even boil the kettle.. I try not to eat or even make a tea when DH is at work as I see the amount on the meter going up and up. We have a cup of tea for breakfast and I cook a hot meal for DH coming home.. today I've had 2 cups of tea , some lettuce and a cheese triangle for lunch and some scramble egg for dinner ( no toast-costs too much to use the toaster) .. we don't use any lights, heating or hot water - my husband has a shower at work. Right now DH has just gone to bed, it's just after 9.30 and I am sitting in the dark - luckily there is street light right outside our home which gives some light in the living room and the bedroom.. the tears are running down my face and I just cant stop crying - if it is this bad in the summer I am honestly petrified about the winter.. sometimes I feel like giving up but I have an 85yr mum ( in sheltered housing). We were an average family, who like others enjoyed a holiday, the occasional family meal out or a takeaway...

Good grief you really need to look at your outgoings if you are picking at chicken thighs. We are on a lot less money, four of us, 2 cars, only dh paying the bills . We haven't changed our food bill at all. Whatever you are doing, bill wise, really needs checking.

now listen, lots of people earn a below average salary. And if they do, we shouldn’t expect them to eat dirt and live in rags and squalor. How very dare OP have lived a decent lifestyle?

Oh stop exaggerating. No body has said that.

@Ellatella I don't see how. You have to get the top rate of pip and it covers everything to do with that car. So if a tyre goes it is fixed. Call out is included. Any breakdowns. And that costs you the mobility element of your pip. Insurance. Tole charges.

I feel like people are picking on op now and some of you will have no idea.

I was in a similar situation @doodlywoodlydingdong and I have managed to downsize. They will also offer an incentive depending on the council. My adaptions were sorted as well. I went from a four bed to a two- my council offer a £1k a bedroom incentive to move (may be worth checking out)

Pip is so so difficult to get and particularly at the highest level. You have my upmost sympathy. I am in hospital at the moment and Keep churning over where I can make differences financially. There is nothing to cut and I have one going to uni so will lose his element of universal credit. I fear too that the car will have to go.

Remember people that the woman is qualified. She has contributed. She is jay seriously ill. And where I live here husband would be on a good wage.

We are all just doing our best.

I have no idea at all why you can not afford holidays. You must be earning at a minimum over £37,500. And if you are working 70 hours a week I would assume you are not choosing to do that earning only minimum wage so must be earning a lot more.

I see people on here all the time talk about budgets that are fairly generous and how they can not afford holidays, and my only conclusion is they must be poor at budgeting.

@Icantcope You have my utmost sympathy. What a terrible situation. I really hope things improve for you somehow.

@completelyunderwhelmed she has children the youngest of whom is 13 years old.

Do you have rent to pay? If so have you looked at whether you'd qualify for any Universal credit ? I hope things improve for you soon.

I think those of us who live modestly and not beyond our means are going to get through this period easier than those as we are used to living sensibly.

I am sorry but if you are living in the way you say you are living there is no way you need to be paying 300 a month energy costs. Either your explanation of how you live is inaccurate or your bill is.

We are paying £300 a month in energy bills as well.

Maybe she is paying high rent and childcare costs in an expensive area ? If so is it so hard to comprehend why she can't afford foreign holidays? many high earners are also paying back student loans etc which take a good chunk of income.