Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

@Blossomtoes I am not sure what your point is honestly. There are disabled people in eastern europe too. Not sure how they cope to be honest, it must be difficult. But disability can also vary. One of my friends got into a horrid car accident when he was on his honey moon, ever since he is in a wheelchair. But he has a brilliant career in IT, and earns ££££. Just because someone is labeled 'disabled' it doesn't mean they are worthless in the working world.

Frankly, if you can’t see what my point is there’s not much hope @Acidburn. I can’t make it any clearer.

@Blossomtoes the only point you are making is ignoring anything that doesn't fit your agenda. Obviously being disabled is more difficult than not being disabled, I don't thinking anyone is trying to argue that...

Obviously being disabled is more difficult than not being disabled, I don't thinking anyone is trying to argue that...

You just did. 🤷‍♀️

@Acidburn Are you yourself disabled? Genuine question, not snarky.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles no, I'm not

Right. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. If you're not disabled yourself, please could you refrain from saying things like "Someone might say that <disabled person> is lucky" as it's so fucking insensitive and extremely annoying. Lucky FFS. As saying ""yes she is disabled but" as no matter what you say after the "but" it's really minimising the struggles disabled people face and is also extremely annoying. Advising disabled people to think positively or have a more positive attitude is patronising and it's like minimising racism to someone personally affected by it. And I don't give a fuck if you "know someone who is disabled" but has a wonderful career etc...you yourself have no personal experience of it. If you wouldn't go around saying that old trope "but some of my best friends are black", don't go around speaking for people with disabilities in the same fashion.

Of course I don't speak for all disabled people but you've obviously annoyed some people with your posts already and I wanted to explain from the perspective of a disabled person.

You can choose to take it on board or not.

Oh and also "But disability can also vary...." is straying into some sort of disability top trumps and is also extremely annoying to read/hear. It's not a fucking race to the bottom. There isn't some magical ladder of disabilities where someone - especially someone without disabilities, can decide what's "worse". You don't get to tell people about their disabilities, we can speak for ourselves, as we are doing on this thread but you're talking over the top of us. It's rude. It makes you look ignorant and self important, hence the replies you are getting.

Although Blossom already said it much more succinctly (and also better )

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles seriously, you need to chill. I came here and wrote 2 posts that were absolutely neutral, just commenting about cultural difference, and you are just picking a fight for no reason. I am sorry you are disabled, but there is no need to be aggressive.

The idea is to have good enough insurance/savings so that they don't run out.

Unless you're extremely unlucky, if you're well prepared you will be fine.

Most people are not extremely unlucky, most people just didn't plan or really consider all the potential risks down the line.

And yeah it sucks to spend money on insurance and not a holiday. To not have another child if you want one, or not have them at all if you can't afford them. But we're constantly expected to have empathy, meanwhile if you've pissed all your money away on holidays and wants the government bails you out. But if you were careful and saved the prize is that you have to use your own money, not the government money, to pay for these needs.

I get nothing. I never got support to go to uni because I didn't meet residency criteria despite being British. When I worked minimum wage and had to work if I was sick, put up with an abusive manager, get on with it, I got nothing.

I still get fuck all from this country now because technically I make enough.

I'm all out of sympathy or empathy because I'm exhausted from doing my best to keep going. Maybe once I have multiple kids and get the government to help me I'll have more energy to focus on caring about everyone's problems, but many of us are just exhausted from never getting any support but working hard all the time.

imagine if we didn’t have such a generous benefit system…

I'm all out of sympathy or empathy because I'm exhausted from doing my best to keep going. Maybe once I have multiple kids and get the government to help me I'll have more energy to focus on caring about everyone's problems, but many of us are just exhausted from never getting any support but working hard all the time.

rxactly how I feel
and I don’t blame the tories or anyone else were passing the buck on
op has lived a good enough life and now needs to eat chicken thighs like the rest of society
ho hum

The idea is to have good enough insurance/savings so that they don't run out.

How does that work if you’re catastrophically injured and live for another 40 years?

Insurance does not cover vulnerable people. Born with a genetic illness? Get cancer at 15 years old? Self-employed because of a disability or chronic illness that means no one will give you a job? Born into a family where all the women have a gene that makes them very vulnerable to breast cancer? What about severe mental illness? You develop schizophrenia in your twenties? You give birth to a child with complex disabilities who needs a lot of care?
And how much do you save? Enough for your family to live for a year? For five years? For twenty years?
I am in my fifties and have seen various tragedies befall people unexpectedly. One who died young after being given infected blood as a haemophiliac. No insurance would cover that eventuality as the insurance company would rightly say the government are to blame and should pay out. Decades later the government are finally giving interim payments to survivors. My friend got nothing.
Two friends who died of breast cancer. One could have got insurance but did not have it. The other had a gene which meant no insurance company would touch her. Another friend had a husband who killed himself. Suicide was excluded from their insurance.
Awful things happen all the time. In countries with no welfare state either families help out or people just die. In Britain, long before the welfare state the churches often helped people out when tragedy befell them. Although only if you were "respectable".
My grandmother had her mother and sibling die very young and she was left uncared for her by her father. Instead, she was passed around to relatives until they had enough and she was passed to someone else.
Life can be very tough. Some people skip through relatively unscathed with just the usual bereavements of elderly relatives and everyday struggles. Some people have a terrible time and need extra help. You may be happy for people to die young or starve or children passed from relative to relative, but I am not. A welfare state protects everyone from the worst ravages life has to offer.

You just starve to death unless a relative takes pity on you. Your own fault apparently.

By the way loads of us work minimum wage or close to it and work when ill. That is not unusual and normal.
But if you can physically work when sick, you are not that ill.

@Acidburn you've written more than two posts and they weren't neutral and it wasn't just me that picked you up on them I don't think I was aggressive, but feel free to add "calm down dear" style posts to your already condescending and minimising ones. I won't engage anymore.

@Miajk clearly you moved here from elsewhere and are British by ' citizenship rather than birth or you would have qualified. Your attitude totally sucks.

"The idea is to have good enough insurance/savings so that they don't run out"

Fuck me. Imagine living a life where you have such a narrow mindset and such little experience of the world to think this is possible. @antelopevalley has articulated it very well.

I actually love insurance. I believe in it. I have it for everything I can. Nothing however will cover me or would have covered me for my particular situation at the moment. But for all the you should have insured or saved so my hard earned tax doesn't have to pay for you twats here, take heart.^^ My life insurance (which I paid for with my own hard earned money btw) will pay out. Then my DH and DC won't have to rely on benefits and be judged the way people have been judged on here. Thank fuck.

Saving for a rainy day - fine. Saving (or insuring for) for a fucking storm that will last every single day for the rest of your life until your death - impossible for probably 99.99% of the population. If you are naive or ignorant enough not to realise that, count your blessings, seriously. Some empathy and support for people less fortunate than yourself would serve you better than judging them for being less fortunate or lucky.

I count my own blessings that I was lucky and fortunate enough to be able to buy my life insurance a long time ago but I sure as fuck don't judge others that didn't or couldn't. I wouldn't want to be that unsympathetic total cunt who does that that, and even worse, who actually begrudges the amount of tax/NI they pay towards a safety net for people who are disabled, ill or dying.

Yes but I didn't qualify, yet I've been paying taxes and working before and after. Funny how that works.

Well I'm not fortunate like OP to go on holidays or you to have children so maybe you should consider how fortunate you are.

Well I'm not fortunate like OP to go on holidays or you to have children so maybe you should consider how fortunate you are

Presumably you’ve fortunate enough not to have a disability. That pretty much trumps anything a disabled person has. You’re absolutely unbelievable.

Well I'm not fortunate like OP to go on holidays or you to have children so maybe you should consider how fortunate you are

I really hope posters don't report the last post from Miajk - it should stand so people can see it. Thank you for illustrating my point so well in your own words. What an attitude to hold.

The irony is that I genuinely feel a bit of sympathy for you, your words make you sound so bitter and grudging and unhappy.

Having money sure makes everything "smoother" (especially dealing with illness and disability) which would make you less stressed and remove a lot of barriers it's hard to get past otherwise.

But still. God knows I would rather live and die a shorter life, poor and happy, than live and die a long life rich and unhappy. I actually think everyone on this thread would think that, in the final analysis. I know it sounds like a cliche. Feels true for me though.

More excellent posts from Webuiltcis and blossomtoes.

@Miajk i don’t think you can be for real, you must be on a wind up surely?

I’ve just looked up minimum amount needed to live , and it is a minimum, with council house and no holidays you’ll be glad to hear. For a couple with 2 children it’s 28k per annum. So, dh was injured at 45, hopefully he’ll live to his 70s, though probably not as the threats of chest infections etc are real. By your reckoning we would have needed to have saved over 800k. Obviously more because we had more kids but you’ll throw that back at me so I’ve done calculations on 2 children.

Please can you tell me how just about everyone on this forum can save over 800k each? Thanks.