Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

Ok now you’ve made me cry. Thank you.

There’s no need for you to apologise @Wowyourebitter, quite the reverse. I love your advice to the next generation. That’s how to live life.

I literally have no words. How can you not feel ashamed of your posts?

I pay £60 per 1 hour online session for our specialist tutor who supports one of our children with a specific learning need in maths. This is a huge amount of money imho however DC has gone from failing maths to being a C almost B student so worth it for us. Suffice to say, online tutoring (particularly in London) is a nice little earner. Even say you charge £30 a session, just one hour week would more than cover your rent.

Simply having a degree doesn't make one suitable to be a tutor. I don't know why tutors are expected to have no teaching qualifactions when they are essentially teaching your child.

I have a degree but I couldn't tutor someone in maths.

I tagged the wrong poster in my first post! I sincerely apologise @whereeverilaymycat as it was meant for @Cyw2018 and their abhorrent posts, not you!

Phew I hoped as much!

Thank you. They don’t seem to have any reasons why it would be so much easier, which makes it doubly insulting.

@whereeverilaymycat Clearly I just liked your username so much that I just wanted to use it really 

I meant to say I love your user name too, I forgot in my ranting state!

"Would have been easier" really made me aghast @Wowyourebitter. I genuinely can't get inside the mind of someone who thinks like that. The only way to make situations like that easier is to go back in time and not have the situation occur. Easier?! And not only thinking like that, but saying it out loud to someone in the situation! Fuck me.

Anyway, I'm off to work on my time machine. I'll give you a shout when it's working! Course you really should have thought about inventing your own. It would have made things easier for you. How short sighted of you

(I hope you don't mind (my probably poor) attempt to try and give you a rueful smile, hopefully it's not quite as insensitive as previous posters disingenuous attempts to sound empathetic, while actually sticking the boot in)

Ha ha no problem. Emotions are high generally right now and I think many of us are a bit shocked at some of the responses.

For what it's worth I took the original post as more of a general observation on just how quickly things are escalating. We can only measure it in terms of our own circumstances and those are so different from person to person. I can't imagine how difficult it's been for @Wowyourebitter or the OP. 2 euro camp holidays only compensate so much. I don't have a lot, but I currently have the health of myself and my loved ones and for that I'm grateful.

@Wowyourebitter Thank you for your comment, it was lovely. I name changed to post that, I was nervous of comments. I've had a thread that went badly, near the beginning of lockdown and it set me back massively. It probably doesn't make sense to some people how hurtful posts can be when you are not in a good place. I don't post my own threads anymore, I decided to come back a while ago to offer support where I can. I was angry when I wrote that post, and I shouldn't be nervous of offering support on a forum like this. Thank you for the luck and support for my friend. xxx

Brilliant, made me laugh. I didn’t spit my coffee out I’m afraid, mainly because I’m not drinking any, I’m sure I would have in true MN style. Save a seat for me on that machine, and for the original poster whose thread I’ve accidentally taken over.

Clearly clairvoyance skills are strong in the mumsnet community @Wowyourebitter

So many utter know it's alls it seems and can I say of all 'classes' and income levels Life isn't black and white- it's very grey - as someone famous once said 'life is what happens when you are busy making other plans'

35 years ago I was a student nurse - I didn't end up nursing for many reasons but the one thing it taught me was life can turn on a sixpence . I wish you and your family the best- really hope it gets easier for you at some point.

I think there is a cultural aspect as well. Those of us who were not born in the UK, who come from Eastern Europe or any other country where benefits are non-existent - we learn from a very young age that there is nothing and no one you can rely on if shit hits the fan. So we don't expect anything, we are not 'entitled' to anything. It's not about being Tory, it's about survival.

But most people in the UK are used to living beyond just survival.

@antelopevalley I completely understand. It's just you have 2 camps speaking different languages in a way.
I remember Soviet Union, and how my parents couldn't make the ends meet, so my father would take his old car in the evenings (after his daily job) and do some taxi work. Just because there was simply no other eay to feed his child. I'm sure if benefits were available they would claim, but they weren't, so people had to do something.

I would advise against giving up your mobility car at all costs. I hear you can now register with your energy company that you will be in difficulty. I suggest you look into that, in addition let them know you are disabled, apologies if that's the wrong term.

What a lovely way to turn a negative experience round “I decided to come back to give support where I can”. I’m going to try and follow your example, thank you for that.
( I’d better name change again first😀)

How fortunate that he could do that. It wouldn’t have been an option if he’d been severely disabled - then what?

@Crikeyalmighty thank you.
@Acidburn I’m not sure that’s even a cultural thing, I know a lot of people who have done that, we did similar at one point, rather than claim benefits. People on here are knocking severely disabled OP people for claiming when she can’t work and her dh works 50hrs in a driving job so really does need his rest time.

@Wowyourebitter no one is knocking OP for claiming benefits on this thread. Some people said that they find it annoying that she is complaining about her living standards dropping, when in many ways she is better off then many working people. No one says she shouldn't be claiming benefits - of course she should, she is disabled. But perhaps its poor taste to rant about it ehen actually your housing is 97 pounds a week, when other people have to literally choose between heating and eating while paying private rent.
We all have different challenges and circumstances. Someone might say that OP is lucky - yes, she is disabled, but she actually has some human rights unlike women living in Saudi Arabia. Perspective is everything.

Someone might say that OP is lucky - yes, she is disabled, but she actually has some human rights unlike women living in Saudi Arabia

That’s like saying someone’s lucky because they’ve got gonorrhea, not syphilis.