To think people on mumsnet are judgemental

[Crazycatlady28]

I used to love mumsnet and there used to great advice etc however it’s definitely changed. I wonder if anyone else feels the same?

I have posted a couple times in the past couple months and have had sceptical mumsnetters that will start saying I’m a troll or be angry at what I’ve posted - judgemental too. I’ve never posted anything negative or weird. One of my posts was about advice on my relationship particularly to do with my MIL it was an innocent post and I had a hound of mn go for me.

I can’t be the only one that doesn’t feel that comfortable to ask for advice on here anymore? I look through threads and see people ganging up on others. Not nice

MN is as it ever was. Including a weekly thread like this one.

YANBU, but this is the aibu board where people enjoy putting the boot in. Have you tried other boards?

No, I find the advice to be quite different to what you hear in person from friends. And ppl very quick to suggest ending a relationship.
but if you don’t like it… don’t ask! Simples.

Robust debate is what AIBU is all about. Post on relationships for a more gentle response.

I’m not sure people on MN are any more judgemental than the general public.
The internet gives people a platform for voicing their thoughts in the way that you don’t in ‘real life’.

Of course it's judgemental. Every time someone posts about an issue with their husband, people in the replies fall over themselves to assume things. They are desperate to fill in the gaps with the worst stuff imaginable, based on no evidence. Presumably to make themselves feel better about their own lives.

Not necessarily any more judgment than IRL but I definitely find a handful of posters intolerably argumentative. They steal focus from pleasant debate.

NEVER

AIBU is always a vipers nest, but there is good advice there still. Other boards are softer.

Of course it’s judgemental! The problem with MN is that people stamp their feet and cry bullying when posters don’t agree with them, even when they’re talking bullshit.
if you can’t stand the heat and all that…

AIBU especially is people actually requesting that judgments be made.

It's a wide mix. Some posters are balanced, thoughtful and polite. Some are rude, spiteful and constantly looking for a row.

And some have good days and bad days, but generally behave with civility.

There’s a thread like this every other week! Yawn

I’ve been in here for about 16(?) years. I got a royal telling off on my very first post by some snotty poster.

I’ve had a few run ins - a couple of misunderstandings (where we have ended up exchanging nice DMs and apologised to each other - all very civilised ) and one crazy poster who decided to try to be “all ‘ard” with me 🤣.

YABU, I don’t think MN is particularly o it of kilter with the rest of society tbh, if you post on here it’s generally an invite for people to give you their opinion/judgement.

what I have noticed is a much wider change in society more generally. People are much less inclined to pussyfoot around for the sake of feelings. I Think that’s largely due to lots of people facing worries and pressure and simply not having the capacity to carry other peoples feelings.

see what I mean things like this

I Agree x

Yeah… that’s just irritating. It’s not even judgemental and adds literally zero to the conversation.

they may as well just post ‘I’m here too!’.

I do agree with this too AIBU is an invitation perhaps however on other threads like relationships where it should be expected to be a little softer it’s just not.

Let loose the hounds of Mumsnet!

Sorry, just loved the phrase, hounds of MN.

Most of the advice and debate on AIBU is rubbish.

On the basis of 6 or 7 sentences, from only one side of the argument MNeters will declare 20 year relationships over.

I do wonder how many perfectly salvageable relationships have been ruined by posters who dash off a quick reply then smuggly walk away leaving destruction behind them.

Mostly, people will post here what a lot of people will be thinking about you in real life but not necessarily feel confident enough or want to bother with the fallout enough to tell those around them. There are lots of things I think about the dysfunctional relationships, parenting preferences and lifestyle of some acquaintances, which I generally can’t be bothered to voice to their faces and tend to just distance myself from them instead. If I saw similar situations posted here, and thus seeking a public response, I’m more likely to offer one.

They are when they are in correct topic.

Same with things like weightloss. Different type of answers if you post on aibu vs weightloss topic...

I've been on Mumsnet since about 2005 and it's always been judgemental. I'm not sure people were always so mean though.

I am totally judgemental ..I sit her clutching my pearls with my waitrose reciept in my hands simply aghast sometimes at what I read.I was only saying to the cleaner the other day well...

I agree with PP that posting on AIBU is asking for people to judge the situation.

I also agree with other PPs that people judge in RL but just don't admit it. MN, or AIBU in particular, just sheds a little light on what others think, reasonably or not.

But I never understand troll hunting. A good example was the CF guest thread over the weekend. Most people on it seemed to accept it at face value, possibly because they'd encountered similar behaviour. Others, I'd guess, weren't entirely convinced it was true or 100% so, but were prepared to suspend their disbelief because it was a good story. But some just declared that they didn't believe it - so why say so, why not just click away and read something you prefer? Why would you think that anyone would care whether or not a total stranger believes a really interesting thread?