To think people on mumsnet are judgemental

[Crazycatlady28]

I used to love mumsnet and there used to great advice etc however it’s definitely changed. I wonder if anyone else feels the same?

I have posted a couple times in the past couple months and have had sceptical mumsnetters that will start saying I’m a troll or be angry at what I’ve posted - judgemental too. I’ve never posted anything negative or weird. One of my posts was about advice on my relationship particularly to do with my MIL it was an innocent post and I had a hound of mn go for me.

I can’t be the only one that doesn’t feel that comfortable to ask for advice on here anymore? I look through threads and see people ganging up on others. Not nice

I never understand the troll hunters, it's like mumsnet hq, say don't troll hunt and yet there's usually some posters that still do.

Are you asking people to have no judgment?
Good judgement is crucial to successful life.

And here, no one has to hold back for fear of offending.
If you don't want to know what people think, don't ask.

If they're wrong because they don't know what you know, then they're irrelevant.

Woman up. People don't all think like you. That's why we have forums and ask what other people are thinking.

I mean, otherwise what's the point?

This.

I mean, as has already been said, the point of AIBU is literally for a poster to ask for the judgement of strangers. So yes, it is judgemental, because that is what is being asked of everyone.

It is popular because of the open and honest exchange of opinions, and the fact there is not a line of people queuing up to tell every poster they are right, just because they are the person posting. It is objective, which presumably why people ask here and are not asking someone close to them.

I think if you're going to put something out there then you're going to be judged and that's fair enough but I think the nastiness can be extreme and there isn't any excuse for being like that to someone that you don't know, apart from one small element of their life. I've seen the same usernames be lovely to some on here but vile to others. I've had a few of my own threads where I've been completely ripped into or been accused of making things up. I know it was my own fault for posting but my last one was almost enough to tip me over the edge, so as a result I won't be posting anymore of my own threads on MN.

Everyone is judgey, not just on MN. But MN gives people a chance to express their judgeyness without being punched! And to have a rant when something bugs them.

It's fine and lets people let off steam, as long as it doesn't get personal like "you are such hard work" or "what a vile person you must be".

I also don't understand troll hunting. If you are not convinced by a thread just scroll on (I think I did report one thread once but I thought it was actively damaging, but most of them are just funny).

Sometimes they aren’t judgemental sometimes they reply with snarky comments or to be purposely hurtful.

Oops I used the wrong word there that does sound funny. Maybe a pack of mn haha x

I think it’s definitely got worse, so many bitches on here that wouldn’t say it to anyones face.

And yes I said bitches, because they are.

(much as I hate to say) This ^ (but it fits)

some people here are arseholes, some are just having a bad day

But this thread and all the others is the equivalent of going to the same restaurant every day, and moaning about the food.

Other restaurants forums are available and even other more gentle topics on MN.

I just find unnecessary digs so annoying. I understand if you’re posting on AIBU you’re going to get judgements however on other gentle threads the same digs and judgements remain. I don’t even care that much it’s just something I’d noticed about this platform now and wondered if others felt the same.

Just use a different forum op if this one doesn’t suit you.! It’s really not difficult.

There are plenty of others. This forum, or any other for that matter is not going to change just because you don’t find it to your liking. . It’s up to you to seek out a better fit for your requirements!

I’m talking about the other more gentle forums but hey ho

It's a bit rough and tumble, yeah. I prefer it that way. Can't stand forums where you're expected to tiptoe around idiots and not speak your mind. MN's talk guidelines are sufficient for dealing with actual abuse.

I posted a snarky comment on a food thread once, when I was a newbie (about 17ish years ago). I was roundly castigated by some very funny, very unkind oldies - one of them speculated that I was the sort of person who ate cheap fruit cocktail out of the tin

You either love it or you don't.

@Greensleeves That’s funny!😂

If you haven't eaten cheap fruit cocktail out of the tin, have you even lived? 🤔😂

Lol

I 100% agree some mumsnetters do make unnecessary mean comments and digs. But as a pp said some are bored with there lives 😶

I think people are honest when it’s anonymous.

We all judge...on here you ask for judgement and get the unsweetened version!

Yabu for thinking it has ever been different.

I think there is a larger proportion of sad people who like nothing better than to loiter around waiting to pounce and be a dick. I think it is because lonely people like that can do that here and do it anonymously, but most people wouldn't give them the time of day in real life. It is appealing because they get your attention and wouldn't get any in real life.

I always assume a lot of people are trolls, fantasists or incels on here and it doesn't bother me. I can see that relationship threads only give one side of a story and that when people discuss money or lifestyle there might be little white lies (I look at data).

MN is good for finding out interesting things about something you wouldn't see in mainstream media (because it is shite), so it is useful for that, but again, you have to distinguish what is fact and what is opinion. There are some lovely threads to about people having babies after battles with fertility or illness and those threads are always a joy.

Anybody who says that they are not judgemental is a liar.