To think DH can't just buy a pet for his child without me agreeing?!

[BloodyPets]

H is a bit of a Disney parent to DSC.

I get on really well with my step children but his inability to say no sometimes really winds me up. He carries a lot of guilt about them being from a split family and going on to have more DC with me. That's another thread.

But anyway, the issue...

One of my step children has been asking for a guinea pig for a while. H is now waining and looking to give in.

I am absolutely against the idea for a number of reasons:

1. There's no way DSC will actually stick to being the one to care for it (like all kids promise to do I imagine), they are 11.

1. I'm the one at home all day so likely will fall to me to do cleaning out, feeding and so on.

1. We have other animals including 2 cats (not a good mix, one in particular is a hunter).

1. DHs solution to this is they can keep it in their room where the cats never go (DSC very keen on this idea) but the smell, the mess!!! Ugh.

Anyway, I've said no way and H is now thinking I'm awful and mean and 'id get one if our child wanted one'. No I wouldn't, any pet we got in the future would be thought about at the time and whether it worked at that point in time (for example perhaps one day when the cats are no longer with us and both of us are around more to care for one) and everyone was in agreement etc.. but right now it doesn't work for us (or me anyway).

AIBU to put my foot down about this, I feel on edge like he's just going to get one for him for his birthday (in a few weeks) and "promise" he'll do everything. I'll be so mad if he does.

I love guinea pigs as pets, but everyone has to be on board, and if you're not then it's a no-go.

I've never had any bother with cats with them - my cat ignores them completely. She once broke into their hutch and had a nice sleep in the hay 😂This despite being known to catch wild rabbits.

But yeah lot of work, they need tons of room, they need to be multiple, and their novelty value to kids may well wear off.

You are definitely NBU. Guinea Pigs are fabulous little animals who need a lot of care and attention. They get scared very easily and no matter how careful everyone is, the cats will (or at least the hunter will) make it their mission to get to them. I say ‘them’ as a few posters have said, they are social animals and are much happier in groups.

I firmly believe it’s fantastic for children to grow up with animals. They teach them so much BUT everybody in the household has to be on board, everyone has to lookout for them, the house and garden must be safe, and in the case of GPs, gerbils etc there are no predators.

Good for you. Why would anyone want a rodent living in their bedroom? And no creature should ever be cooped up on its own. That's plain cruel.

That is no substitute for a companion and you shouldn't be encouraging a new owner to get just one. They should always have a companion.

Thanks I'll definitely be saying no. I'm just not interested in getting anymore pets right now. The ones we have are enough (2 cats and a dog). I honestly would say no to a fish at this point because I couldn't be doing with cleaning a tank!

Life's too hectic right now as it is without adding another life to the mix to care for ha.

I wasn't encouraging her, just mentioning it.

Can he not offer to buy one to keep at their Mum's house?
Or would it only be polite to check she is on board with the idea first!

I would say no too. No pets should be bought for children unless there is a parent on board to take over, when the children inevitably get bored.

My dd wants Guinea pigs. I’ve compromised with mice. I like mice and they are a lot easier than piggies.

ds wants a chameleon. I’m going to compromise with either a bearded dragon or a leopard gecko.

In both cases, I’m prepared to take over care

Completely the right and fair decision.

Pets should never be bought just for children, neither IMO should they be entrusted with 100% care - Guinea Pigs and Rabbits are much harder work than you would think and need a lot of care and attention. Most children spend a large proportion of time at school and therefore just arent there.

DD wanted a rabbit for years it was only when I was ready that we did it. And she does feed them and play with them but they are in our lounge roaming around from 9-6 - a lot of which she is at school so I am responsible in that time.

Doing everything is a hell of a lot more than feeding and cleaning out (and that is still time consuming)

YANBU but if you do decide to compromise then guinea pigs are definitely not the best option. Firstly they must be kept in pairs so you'd have 2, they shit more than any animal I've ever had and they can live up to 7 years. We have GPs and they are lovely little things but a lot more high maintenance than I thought. We look after then very well but I am the one who cleans them out, which needs doing at least once a week and I'm pretty sure I'll still be looking after them once the kids are teens. A cat is the most low maintenance pet IME.

GPs stuck in a bedroom!

The bedroom of a kid that's only there part time?

I can see it’s a no. But just giving my experience and what I agreed to as I didn’t want another pet. In the end I compromised with a dwarf hamster. Really cute but dd got scared as it bit (nibbled) her so it isn’t tame. They last 2/2.5 years and I have been cleaning the cage for over a year now. Idk how old your younger dc are but that would be my limit. Dwarf hamsters can be trained to be sociable but do not need interaction and live alone.

Ultimatum and then take to bunny rescue place?

@BloodyPets I agree with PP about not getting the Guinea out if the whole family is anti in agreement, but aside that you need to have a serious conversation with your husband about making statements such as if it was your child you would do this or not do this. That is very disrespectful and wrong unless there are truly situations where you treat your step children unfairly.

I haven’t gotten that from your post (and I know we’re only seeing one side) so if you truly care for the kids and there has not been situations wheee you clearly treat then j fairly because they are step children then statement is very very wrong and should be addressed asap.