To think DH can't just buy a pet for his child without me agreeing?!

[BloodyPets]

H is a bit of a Disney parent to DSC.

I get on really well with my step children but his inability to say no sometimes really winds me up. He carries a lot of guilt about them being from a split family and going on to have more DC with me. That's another thread.

But anyway, the issue...

One of my step children has been asking for a guinea pig for a while. H is now waining and looking to give in.

I am absolutely against the idea for a number of reasons:

1. There's no way DSC will actually stick to being the one to care for it (like all kids promise to do I imagine), they are 11.

1. I'm the one at home all day so likely will fall to me to do cleaning out, feeding and so on.

1. We have other animals including 2 cats (not a good mix, one in particular is a hunter).

1. DHs solution to this is they can keep it in their room where the cats never go (DSC very keen on this idea) but the smell, the mess!!! Ugh.

Anyway, I've said no way and H is now thinking I'm awful and mean and 'id get one if our child wanted one'. No I wouldn't, any pet we got in the future would be thought about at the time and whether it worked at that point in time (for example perhaps one day when the cats are no longer with us and both of us are around more to care for one) and everyone was in agreement etc.. but right now it doesn't work for us (or me anyway).

AIBU to put my foot down about this, I feel on edge like he's just going to get one for him for his birthday (in a few weeks) and "promise" he'll do everything. I'll be so mad if he does.

Can I add the Halifax advert into the cruelty pile as well? That shows a very small fishbowl on the side with two enormous fancy goldfish in it that are far far too small for it.
I know it's not real, I know it's only an advert. But it does create some very unrealistic expectations for pet ownership.

(Obviously didn’t know they were pregnant when we got them)

I personally wouldn’t have a Guinea pig in the bedroom.

I’d get an outdoor set up and tell DH that it’s his responsibility - if SDS doesn’t clean or feed it then DH is going to have to do it.

If DH agrees then I’d be happy with this.
I do think pets are very good for children to teach them responsibilities and to share a bond with.
And Guinea pigs seem to make much better pets than many of the other pets you have have.

Guinea pigs would be a terrible choice for the setup you've described.

If you did want a compromise, then in my experience gerbils are the easiest small animal to keep. As long as you house them properly (massive tank with an appropriate substrate that enables then to build tunnels) they are very low maintenance - as desert animals they hardly produce any urine at all.

They aren't the easiest to handle but they are super entertaining to watch. Also they have much shorter lifespans than guinea pigs, so practically speaking it is less of a commitment.

Their cage would need to be 100% cat proof though.

Also, like all small pets, guinea pigs always die tragic, heart-wrenching deaths and guess who will have to console the weeping children when they find their pathetic little corpses.

This is one of the reasons why I chose to get my DD some rabbits.

It’s so awful when they die and I cried more than my DD when they died 😂

Family members will die, it’s a part of life.
If a child has never experienced death then it can be much more painful and hard to deal with than if they’ve been around death before.

Having a pet can teach a child about death and how it’s sad but you can make a grave and celebrate their life etc and teach them that death is a part of life.

I think given that you've got pets already you could say it lives in dsc room and your dh and dsc are responsible for it. However, the default is that there should be full agreement before getting pets.

Just say "yes" on the understanding that DH and DSC do everything, you won't remind them or help or buy anything for it and the moment they don't clean it out the day it's needed/forget to feed it. You're getting rid of it that day.. No chances. No "oh but I was going to..."

Find the local animal rescue and be prepared to take the pig there.

No, pets are a huge commitment, and everyone needs to be on board! the fact you say he is a Disney dad I assume means he wont be encouraging DSC to clean/feed/care for the guinea pig either?

I have guinea pigs in my house, they do better indoors than outside tbh. But I clean them out often so they don't smell. One has long hair so needs bathing quite often, and a haircut. They need a good diet of unlimited hay and fresh foods, but too much of some foods can cause expensive health issues.
One of mine had to have a surgery last year and that was more than £500.They live on average 5 years but some can go on much longer than that so it's quite a long commitment.
I would recommend anyone thinking of getting guinea pigs to seek out a reputable rescue. Guinea pigs from there will have seen the vet so you know they are reasonably healthy. They will be the sex that the rescue says they are. You will get ongoing support in the way of advice, from the rescue. This will not necessarily be the case with pet shop piggies.

The cat brought in a live mouse

Wild mice carry a virus which can kill a guinea-pig , gives them horrendous diarrohea which is not good news for piggies .

I was "Eh" when I found this out , but animals have their own specific illnesses

In the same vein, there's an infection that rabbits carry that can kill a guinea-pig ( apart from the fact rabbis can kill a guinea-pig by kicking or mounting it ) they don't go together

By all means let him buy a Guinea pig or two but they stay at his ex wife’s house, not yours.
Hth.

I’d get an outdoor set up and tell DH that it’s his responsibility

Just to say, the people I know who have outside guinea pigs do bring them inside in the winter, or at least into a garage or outbuilding. I think it's too cold outside in the winter unless you live in a warm place. I also worry about outdoor animals in hutches being forgotten and ending up bored/neglected.

I'm overall pleased to see the realistic portrayal of guinea pig ownership on this thread! We do love ours and are happy to have them, but they are our only pets and we were all on board and realistic about the time and space commitment etc.

Never mind the specifics of guinea pigs, any pets need to be agreed on by the whole family.

But guineas, lovely as they are, need so much room - and if they fall out in adolesence (ours did, its impossible to predict if it will happen, and they have to be kept apart or one will kill the other), so now they're in two separate cages but next to one another so they don't get lonely, it takes up an immense amount of room. They need fed twice a day, daily hay, monthly claw trimming, they can get mites, they're sensitive to temperature - mine get ice blocks to sit on in the heat and heat pads in the cool weather - they need haircuts, daily clean outs of the poo and wet hay, we wash our fleeces every third day so our machine is always bloody on and it's impossible to remove all the hair. Sitting in a room on their own won't suit them, they like company and stimulation. They are absolutely adorable and I bloody love them but they aren't a particularly easy pet.

No - this just teaches a child that animals are disposable and that the Resces are there to mop up.
A child cannot be responsible , they cannot buy a pet
The parent is the responsible adult , they step in.
If they don't want to step up , don't get them
Too many guinea-pigs on Gumtree "Kids lost interest"

As I said earlier , my DD had days when she had homework or was at a friends or unwell.
Out of our group of 5 , three were DDs , two were mine .
They had two groups ( 3+2) so I would be feeding and cleaning mine anway , just as easy to do for 5 as for 2 .

But the rule was "Ok , but you do tomorrow" . We were well organised , !

Many rescues won't allow them to go in a child's bedroom, and bear in mind , they (and their hay) are very allergenic.
DD was fine with most of ours but allergic to the coats of 2 (who happened to be the cuddliest )

yadnbu.

IMO the cat thing is what makes it not doable.

I like GPs and have looked after a friend’s but they need each other (there are two), have a large enclosure (and another in the garden for nice days) and need surprisingly more work than I thought.

keeping them in the bedroom, unless it is enormous, is a non-starter.

I would only contemplate this if dh was genuinely able to take on the work of sorting them out and we def had the space and there was no cat complications.

Not really fair on her is it? Unless she is onboard of course

YANBU. Small animals are not good pets for children, despite what pet shops would have us believe. And you will 100% end up being the one cleaning it out all the time.

The only time the guinea-pigs stayd in DD room was when we had a bereaved piggie waiting (about a week) for a new cagemate

Or over Guy Fawkes we put them in their big cage , they woke DD at 3am to demand food !

In winter , they had the small bedroom ( it was empty with no door and radiator off) we had C&C cages and our big indoor cage

We had to put a cover on them like a parrot to tell them "Its bedtime , stop yapping "
They are crepuscular (active at dawn and dusk) but noisy little buggers as they drink , and hope if they hear a noise it means Food !

Definitely not unreasonable. Any pet is a huge commitment. Not a whimsical purchase to make someone smile on their birthday.

I thought about getting a small animal pet a few years ago. There are various "Guinea pig owners" or "Rabbit care and advice" groups on Facebook, which are great at showing the reality and difficult bits of their care. Endless bunny posts about GI stasis emergencies, bonding failures, chewing and pooping everywhere, destroyed jumpers and floors etc. Guinea pig posts about "boar glue" (ewww), mess and smell, unexplained deaths, noise, the list goes on ...

If you think your DH is serious about getting a pet, get him and your DSC to join some of these - should put them right off.

Well you're entitled to your opinion, but there was none of this you must have two guinea pigs when she was bought many years ago. Even the book I got at the time didn't tell you you had to buy 2.

The guinea pig lived a long life, she had none of the signs associated with being lonely, and spending so much time with her I'm satisfied that she led a happy life. If I was getting one now I'd get at least two. I'm sure advice changes, or perhaps it's because people aren't properly informed at the time of purchase.

And for some of us solitary confinement might be nice. Not all humans are social when though I am constantly hearing we are.

Guinea pigs are very time consuming to look after and surprisingly expensive (have just had a £250 vets bill, last year had a vets bill of close to £1000). You should never have just one - they must have a friend as they are very sociable animals and need company.

They are gorgeous pets and I love ours to bits, but they are not the ‘easy’ pet I expected for DD, and either you or DDs dad needs to take responsibility for making sure the guineas are cared for properly. If you don’t want one, then for the sake of the guinea pigs - put your foot down and say no!

Exactly what I was going to say! Whatever the petshops try to sell you accommodation wise they arnt usually big enough to house 2 guinea pigs, they need lots of space, I use c and c grids for mine and it takes up a fair amount of space.
People seem to think guinea pigs are an easy pet to get children but they are more complex than you think.
definitely put your foot down with this one!

Please, please don’t get a Guinea pig. In lots of countries it’s actually illegal to keep one on their own as they need company (another pig, not a rabbit). And they really shouldn’t be kept outside despite what everyone thinks. They prefer to be indoors where there are no extremes of temperature. And they need a HUGE cage - google kavee cage. Google c and c cage.

We have 4 indoor pigs in a cage which takes up a lot of our 30ft kitchen diner. We love them but it’s a huge commitment and if they need vet treatment they’re classed as exotic pets and cost a lot - we recently had one that had an eye injury and the eye was removed - £600.

kaveecage.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwaaEma_a-QIVWODtCh13LghkEAAYASAAEgJl2vD_BwE