Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Many posters are desperate for this to be anyone else’s fault but the parents’, and it really explains a lot about why half the cafes I go to nowadays resemble a soft play.

I've largely stopped going out since COVID and TBH I don't miss it much precisely because of this.

Yes it's given a depressing insight into the mindset of parents who think this kind of behaviour is OK.

I WFH so am keen to support local places on my lunch break but I very rarely eat or drink in for this reason. It’s a shame because they’d be nice places to relax if they weren’t being converted into an ad hoc crèche.

I think most of the poisonous comments are from parents with limited parenting skills. How could anyone think you are unreasonable for wanting to enjoy a meal out without being disturbed by young children who aren't restaurant ready. Far too late for them, too. We adore our five children and grandchildren but wouldn't have let other diners be inconvenienced in the way you describe when we dined out as a family when they were young. The staff should have handled the situation better in my view.

Were the family middle or upper class? Arlo seems a bit of a fancy name. Plus fancy restaurant.

Wetherspoons round here don't allow kids after 8pm.

We don't really have upper class in Ireland. They sounded middle class.

Yes there's a nasty and aggressive tone to some posts and I do wonder if they would take that attitude if someone asked them to stop their child running around their table or some such. It's why so many people are afraid to directly confront other people nowadays.
The manager I described seemed to understand if you're taking money from customers you can't let one family spoil it for everyone, and handled the situation beautifully.

The fact they refunded you a bottle of wine says alot IMO. They knew the behaviour had been unacceptable.

Dibbydoos · Today 08:12

OMG expensive restaurants are not just for adults,

No, but you would have to be willfully ignorant not to appreciate that, generally speaking, there is a strong correlation between an expensive high end restaurant and higher standards of expected behaviour from customers, both kids and adults. You must realise this surely? Kids being rowdy will be tolerated a lot less at these places compared to the say Pizza Express or Nandos which both make an effort to cater for kids.

YANBU. I would have left as soon as they couldn't seat me to another table. Yes parents are entitled to night out - I am a parent of children too but EVERYONE has the right to enjoyment including OP.

Now we have posters saying they would leave immediately upon not being reseated? Imagine ruining your own night over something like this? People need more problems in their lives to fully appreciate what a MINOR inconvenience this is/was.

Well if you're going to be paying £100+ per person - which for a high end restaurant 3 courses including alcohol is about right - and you spot at the start that you won't be able to have the meal you envisaged because of surrounding noise, then it makes sense to cut your losses rather than shell out.

I'd probably do the same if I got there and there was a huge table of rowdy people.

The people who really are to blame are the ignorant parents who used other diners as free entertainment and baby sitters for their out of control kids. However as a high end restaurant are not just selling food, but also an experience, (an experience that didn't include being harassed by lazy parents brat children) then the restaurant had a responsibility to deal with it. They didn't or couldn't. That's why op was given the free wine.

I have tons of problems in my life at the moment. I'm sure many other posters on here do as well.
What an insensitive and rude post. I think you need to work on this positive tolerant image you wish to present.

Sorry @rainbowmilk. I hadn't seen your post when I posted.
Ignore berrytiredmum's response. Her lack of empathy is quite astounding.

Is this that positive attitude you were going on about? It’s charming.

I highly doubt this place was £100+ per person. Lets see the link to the restaurant OP hey!

People don't need to be paying over £100 + in order to be able to eat in peace without being harassed by lazy parents brat children. McDonald's or pizza hut is the place for that. If you can't keep your children under control then go and join your tribe there instead.

It’s as simple as the

No one wants to have a baby crawling at the back of their head and a roving shrieking toddler kicking around when they go out for a meal

going out for a meal is supposed to be pleasurable and relaxing

time to chat and unwind and focus on food food and good conversation

it’s a lot harder to do that if you have a baby crawling at the back of their head and a roving shrieking toddler kicking about

it really is that simple

so YANBU

I don’t know how any one could argue with what I have said?!

No need for you to apologise. I’m going to ask MN to delete the comment as I don’t need responses like that in my life.

I'm sure you're not missed!

Oh, I don't know. We were always quiet, tipped well, left good reviews if deserved, came back, were often known to staff and didn't leave the table and floor under it looking like a mini cyclone had torn through.

I think we were a better proposition than many of the parents with appallingly low standards posting here.

Yes starters were 15 -20 euro, mains 30 - 55 euro, desserts 12 - 15 euro, wine was about 35 euro a bottle, so about 17 euro per person and coffees are 5 euro. So with a tip it averages close to 100 per head.

@BerryTiredMama

if someone is having lots of problems then that meal out probably means a lot to them - a chance to get away from it all and relax and treat themselves

why should they then have entitled badly behaved kids and even worse entitled lazy parents who can’t keep their kids under control ruining it?!

contrary to what some might think on here, parents and children are not the only ones who matter in this world. We are all equally important.