Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Is this in the UK?

I think that's too late to take children to a restaurant

We always go super early so we are home in time for bed

Toddlers need to eat early anyhow

“They probably thought allowing the tot to entertain themself crawling along the windowsill was the lesser of two evils.”

So - annoying bad behaviour or screaming tantrum - are they the only two choices you have in your repertoire? Wtf @tandora - do you simply not give a flying shit about your children making other people uncomfortable while they’re eating a meal in a restaurant? If so you are either extremely selfish and inconsiderate or totally thick and lacking in any empathy. Just fyi - the world does not revolve around you and your feral kids.

a little annoying but... dont you find thatonce you've had children other people's dont annoy you. before i had kids if i was on a plane or in an expensive restaurant other people's annoying children made my blood boil. now i just dont notice them

No, the opposite actually. Don’t want rare child-free time interrupted by screaming kids at inappropriate times.

a little annoying but... dont you find thatonce you've had children other people's dont annoy you

Nope. Other people's children being loud and unruly annoys me when mine wouldn't have got away with it. Or we wouldn't have put them in that position in the first place if they couldn't rein it in.

No, you’re not being unreasonable. Of course parents are “entitled to a meal out”, but there are various compromises that must be made when you have small children (yes, I’ve been there). Just because you and your wider family think they are enchanting irrespective of the noise level, doesn’t mean others will. When children are loud, it’s really unpleasant for other adults and we deserve some consideration. Take your kids to family friendly ‘fun pub’ type places until they are old enough to sit quietly with their meal. It is not too much to ask and to those who will attack my views, you are just being a self-entitled PITA!

Depends when it is. During the day soft play, fine. Even on a plane, fine. Late at night in a restaurant, no thanks, I don't want other people's badly behaved kids crawling behind me in a restaurant or screaming and shouting because their parents can't or won't keep them under control.

I keep saying expensive because, in my experience and that of most people I know, you don't take young children and babies to high end restaurants where other people are forking out a fortune for an enjoyable evening. It has nothing to do with class and everything to do with using your cop on and knowing what is and isn't suitable for different age groups.

Would you think it OK for adults to go to a kids film and then object to kiddy noise, choldren in and out of the toilet etc?

This

I find I notice more, particularly if DPs through their inattention put their DCs in a position of danger.

Toddlers left to run through restaurants are likely to collide with waiting staff carrying hot plates.
Our nephew and niece let their 2.5 year old DD career through the restaurant to pat a dog at the bar. DH and I were horrified as it's an accident waiting to happen.

Also on the expensive restaurant front - if you can afford to spend £££ on a meal, then surely you can afford a babysitter? Must be a darn sight cheaper than prawns for three.

Are you trying to imply you have more “class” than the average family who dare to take their kids out with them?

It's not classy to let your children run riot in restaurants, ruining it for those who are either able to keep their kids under control, or are having child free time.

We live on the Med and children are in restaurants all the time. Posh and not. And interestingly to me, they are the ones NOT on tables or phones and ARE sitting up talking to adults and joining in on the conversation. You can spot the anglophone ones because they are the ones eating ‘early’ to get them home to bed or they are stupefied by phones to keep them quiet and not distrust the adults.

sorry your meal was disturbed by other diners but honestly, YABU. The other family deserve to have a nice meal out too without being moved or told how to parent. I have issues with kids being allowed to run al over the restaurant jumping and screaming but a baby and a toddler….. have a heart!! If the restaurant accepted them then it’s just your bad luck and you have to suck it up.

*tablets or phones
**disturb

Yes they are inevitably more noisy and disruptive than adults which is why most parents exercise a bit of judgment when deciding where to take them, and when to get a babysitter.

What’s entitled is people who think that they don’t have to share the world with children, and aren’t willing to acknowledge that children are inevitably more noisy and disruptive than adults. Children are allowed out in public and thanks to child rights movements gone are the days when we expect children to be “seen and not heard”.

Stop projecting and putting words into people's mouths.

Any reasonable person expects children to make a reasonable amount of noise. No-one on this thread expects a child to be totally silent.

This thread is about children making an unreasonable amount of noise, and crawling around a restaurant.

Excuse me. In France children are expected to behave well in restaurants, and are not taken otherwise. They are taught how to eat properly at table and converse. In Med countries they have a food culture and good food well cooked is appreciated and discussed. They live to eat not eat to live.

Well said @RampantIvy 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Maybe this lack of nuance is why they can’t parent their kids.

Ds would find a toddler crawling around behind him upsetting and we would have to leave.

Not sure what I think of OP but I agree that 7:30pm is past bedtime and I wouldn't take mine out at that time.

Children being allowed out in public does not mean that they can behave exactly as they want to in public. If you honestly believe that kids being in society means that parents don’t have to do any parenting, and people should have to tolerate kids crawling on their heads or being left to scream, then you’re the reason that people demand spaces free of kids in the first place.

Just because something is expensive or high-end does not mean that children should not experience it also. Seriously how entitled are you?

If a restaurant or any other establishment does not want children they will have policies and rules in place. You chose to dine out in a restaurant that allowed children. You suck it up. Or you choose an establishment that does not allow under 18’s.

A kids films is absolute full of kids. Kids laughing, squealing, interacting. That’s expected. Adults objecting to “kiddy noises” at a kids film is totally different to your situation. Not sure why you’re trying to raise that point. It’s pointless.

You honestly sound so stuck up and miserable.

Anyone who takes kids of that age out to eat at 7.30pm is insane. I'm not sure if the staff can do anything, it's down to the parents to keep them entertained and quiet. Sadly, some parents don't think they need to keep their children entertained and quiet.

What about people who want to eat out with their children? Why should they get a babysitter just because they have £££?

Not just unreasonable. I think you have some social issues and are incredibly entitled.
Maybe the restaurant wasn’t expensive enough for you so you need one that isolates you.
Or perhaps you should not live in a society with other people.
They probably found your looks, request to move etc very annoying too.