Today I've been reflecting on something from my childhood. My mum has always held this up as an example of good parenting.
When I was young I had a special item of jewellery that my parents gifted to me, I adored it and wore it all the time.
When I was about 11 or 12 I was at a friend's house and when I got home I realised it was missing (I think I'd taken it off to get in her pool!). I was so upset and filled with an ice cold fear - my mum cannot find out about this. I can feel my chest tightening as I remember this panic!
In the age before mobiles I had to wait until school on Monday to pray the friend had found it. I couldn't risk using the home phone to call her in case mum heard.
Unfortunately it was gone, she hadn't and couldn't find it. I remember weeks of worry over this, my plan was to take all my upcoming birthday money and try and buy a replacement, I just had to keep it quiet until then.
Of course, one day my mum mentioned I wasn't wearing it. I said I just didn't fancy wearing it and mum insisted I went and got it and showed it to her (I'm guessing my poker face sucked!). All hell broke loose.
I actually cannot remember what was said at all. I know she was angry (not physically or screaming though). I remember crying my eyes out both in front of her and privately and apologising profusely.
The next morning all was calm and happy but I felt very on edge. Went to school, picked up, everything still happy. I'd gotten away with it!!
Then I walk into my bedroom and it's stripped bare. Everything is gone. Pictures, posters, clothes, teddies everything. My wardrobe has school uniforms and a pair of pj's in it. I just sat down in it in shock.
Later I go down for dinner, mums Eyebrows are in her hairline. I'm told I obviously cannot care for possessions and therefore I'll have to "earn" everything back.
Eventually most things were returned over the course of months though I always suspected some "junk" was thrown away. Obviously this was quite a distressing time as I was very attached to my possessions.
Funnily enough about a year later I pulled out the bag I'd taken with me and the item fell out. In my panic I can't have checked through it properly, it was stuck in a seam i think. I have never worn it since, I still own it though but can't really look at it. I also now live as a total minimalist, I own no jewellery, nic naks etc. I have absolutely no attachment to any possessions, valuing something makes me quite anxious actually - though my children have plenty of stuff!!
To my mum this is an example of her "no nonsense" parenting and how she could keep all of us in line. As I parent my own DCs and reflect on some of my childhood I'm starting to think this is not normal... what do you think?
YABU - this is a fair and standard punishment for what you did.
YANBU - this was not fair or normal. I would not do this to my DCs.