Neighbours complaining about our children in the garden

[Hiccups1]

Just a rant really! We have the most miserable neighbours who moan about anything and everything. Today we’ve had a knock on the door to say our children are to loud in the garden and “is there something wrong with them” 😮 I’m outraged. Ended up shutting the door in their face. I make sure my children are in by 7pm and do not allow them to scream or shout in anger when playing outside otherwise I bring them on. They are 5 and 1 and I cannot believe they had the audacity to say it! Yes they are loud, but it’s laughing and playing. They’ve lived here 40 years and have never had this before apparently. We are not the sort of people who sit all day and night drinking, smoking and blasting music until the early hours. From 7pm you don’t hear a peep from us in the garden. They’ve made me feel incredibly awkward although I know we’ve done nothing wrong, what would they prefer my children say inside all day? The kids aren’t even in the garden all day every day as we are out and about most days so it’s literally maybe two hours max most days. I’m tempted to knock the door and see what they suggest I do but there is no reasoning with people like that. Thanks for reading 🫣

Then complain to the council and see how far you get...

Children however loud they are are not a statutory noise nuisance.

Your kids are noisy, kids are, they are entitled to play in the garden.

Your neighbours don't like your kids' noise, they are entitled to sit out and enjoy some peace in their garden.

Maybe if you both listened to what the other is saying a compromise could be made.

Children being loud with talking, laughing and singing are not a statutory noise nuisance.

The OP doesn't need to compromise.

Unless you live in a one bed house with a garden or smaller expect your neighbours to have children.

Expect those children to make noise.

I don't need to, I don't have the annoying kids next door 😉

Literally all I am saying is that parents become accustomed to the noise their kids make, and don't necessarily hear it in the same way that people who aren't blinded by unconditional love do. Therefore the OP may be outraged but it doesn't mean that their neighbours don't have a right to be fed up with the noise (particularly given that the OP has said herself how loud they are and that screaming is only an issue if it's in anger)

Well, you said it yourself, they’re loud. My neighbours kids are often outside shrieking and whining at the top of their voices and I have to wonder whether there’s something wrong with their parents if I’m honest. There’s absolutely no way I’d let them make that much noise for other people to tolerate without telling them to bloody pipe down.

🙄 What does this even mean? No one likes other people’s noise, but almost everyone has to put up with it.

As long as they aren’t going out very early, and you are confident they aren’t shrieking or screaming at all, or shouting more than occasionally, then that’s all you can do.

Jeez. I'm the first to whinge if kids are being noisy the garden, including my own but that's ridiculous. Try and ignore, you aren't doing anything wrong, you're being much more considerate than most neighbours!!

They can be fed up but the children aren't causing a statutory noise nuisance.

If the OP then swore at her children and threatened to beat them, like a former neighbour of mine, that's when the neighbours need to get involved.

Because, on MN, that's how people have historically quoted another person's comment in their post.

I always wonder if the 'it's your garden, do what you want and fuck everyone else' people would be quite so forgiving if the irritated neighbour waited until the kids were in bed and then cracked on with jet washing the patio for a couple of hours (well before 11pm so they weren't causing a statutory noise nuisance). Somehow I suspect not, because the noise tolerance is often only expected in one direction.

If everyone could just have a little consideration for their neighbours things would be much nicer all round. Sadly, as often evidenced by threads about neighbour noise, most people don't see being selfish and inconsiderate as an issue (as long as it's them and their family doing it!)

"Also when you say you do not allow them to scream or shout in anger, what about screaming and shouting not in anger? It's equally unnecessary. You can play without screaming full stop"

Maybe OP was missing a comma, and her phrase should say do not allow them to scream, or shout in anger. That would mean she doesn't try to stop them shouting generally but not angry roaring, and no screaming at all.

However OP hasn't denied the screaming, but then she did say it's only for a couple of hours a day at the most. It's not the worst thing in the world. (That awful senseless screaming like they're being murdered is definitely worse.) She did say she brings them in if they do get too loud in her opinion, and stopped the elder one playing with a ball so they don't go over the fence, so it's not like she is generally inconsiderate.

I think it's one of those things MNetters would have to witness really, in order to say YABU or YANBU.

On the one hand some neighbours are incredibly intolerant to noise and think children should be seen and not heard.

On the other hand some parents swear blind their kids don't make much noise, when the volume is often earsplitting.

We have a screamy child over the back, she always has been. If I'm honest, I really don't think the mum responded well when she was young, but she has calmed a bit as she's got older. I don't mind her noise too much because she's just a little girl. The French guy talking top volume on his phone late at night on the balcony every bloody night however, well he irritates in the extreme. Many times I have considered going over there or just yelling out of the window at him. One day I will, and I'm sure he'll be shocked that he didn't think he was loud. Two other neighbours commented about him recently, we may go en masse.

they probably have had issues with every neighbour they’ve had the last 20 years. It’s the middle aged and above way for many households

I am old, like a lot of oldies I like a quiet garden, but I would never ever say so to a young family. When I was bringing up children, they played in the garden all summer long with paddling pools, sand, swings - they used to have half the house out there making dens. Children need to play outside to develop properly. Your neighbours are miserable old cunts - ignore them.

On what planet is 7pm late to be in the garden?
Its 29 degrees here, we have been out most the afternoon. Just back and my 2 year old is now in the garden, it’s nearly 6pm here. He’s playing with bubbles and water play thing. No screaming on noise tbh.
He will play a bit, we will all eat dinner outside and usually head in around 8pm. Most the neighbours children are still outside when we go indoors.

I always wonder if the 'it's your garden, do what you want and fuck everyone else' people would be quite so forgiving if the irritated neighbour waited until the kids were in bed and then cracked on with jet washing the patio for a couple of hours (well before 11pm so they weren't causing a statutory noise nuisance). Somehow I suspect not, because the noise tolerance is often only expected in one direction.

Most councils have bylaws restricting the use of power tools after 8pm, at weekends, and before 8am so your jet wash scenario would fall foul of statutory nuisance legislation.

Children playing in their own garden during daylight hours, no matter how loudly, would not.

Whether they have a point will depend on how loud your children are (shrieking is particularly annoying) and for how many hours it's acceptable, is it fair they can't sit for even a couple of hours without children yelling? We don't know how loud they are, we don't know for how long but I'm guessing it's frequent and today they had had enough. Being a considerate neighbour works both ways- saying to your neighbours you will limit loud garden play to 2 hours is fine- all day until 7pm not reasonable

It’s the middle aged and above way for many households

What does that mean? Genuinely not sure what you're saying.

I'm wondering that too.

My neighbours kids are firmly told they will have to go in if they shout because the neighbours don't want to hear them. They are very nice kids with excellent manners when we see them in the shared parking area (older one offer to help me with my shopping!) they like most kids sometimes forget themselves that's where parenting comes in. Shouting isn't on in the garden

I am old, like a lot of oldies I like a quiet garden, but I would never ever say so to a young family. When I was bringing up children, they played in the garden all summer long with paddling pools, sand, swings - they used to have half the house out there making dens. Children need to play outside to develop properly. Your neighbours are miserable old cunts - ignore them.

Spat my tea with laughter at this @SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain . Literally love you.
And I agree.

Not everyone likes other people's noise . If they played ABBA on full blast every day would you be happy . If you have to live on top of each other you have to be respectful of each other and unwanted noise leads to more fall outs than anything else .

Sorry, what? What's Abba to do with it?

Absolutely ignore them and allow your children to play.

I'm hoping for the next birthday you have a bouncy castle booked and 20 toddlers invited.

Them ask them to compare the "fun"