To find this phrase irritating

[Lonelylittleme]

“Sorry to hear that”
I have a friend who literally says it at everything.

“aw I’m not feeling too good today”
”sorry to hear that”

”the kids are testing my patience today”
”sorry to hear that”

“I had a terrible dream last night”
”sorry to hear that”

“Just ran out of bread”
“sorry to hear that”

i’m starting to think it’s just a sloppy attempt at empathy, even when empathy isn’t required.

is it me? Maybe they find me too negative, although most things are just said in conversation and are a throwaway comment or as an explanation (for not messaging back in a few days).

i thought “sorry to hear that” is something you say when someone dies, not because I couldn’t get a stain out a shirt…

yes I know I’m 100% being ridiculous, petty and unreasonable…like who cares what the reply to me missing a bus.

Who knows what I’d expect them to say in response to these things…
kind of at the point where I want to say to them that if they feel it’s necessary or have an urge to say it then to just ignore it.

P.S. This post is in no way being super super serious, it is a petty irritant in my life that I won’t lose sleep over.

If you’ve noticed it perhaps you have a ‘way’ which sounds downbeat and complaining even if you don’t mean it. It’d be easier to change that than what she says.

Totally agree, changing other people’s reactions is a losing battle. Maybe it’s just today I’m annoyed by it, most the time i don’t bother too much other than being thrown off on what to reply but today it’s annoyed me 😂

If someone told me they'd just run out of bread or they'd had a bad dream I'd be kind of lost for a reply and would just use something generic as well.

I don’t really see what behaviour in your friend you would need to try and change, I think your friend is maybe just politely telling you she doesn’t give a shit and is trying to close it down.

Tbh the examples you’ve given are things I couldn’t even be bothered to mention to another person because they don’t really need a response. There are a couple of people I work with who would come out with stuff like this and for that reason they only get a hello and goodbye from me at the beginning and end of the day because I know that it turns into a long anecdote about something negative and I just don’t have the energy for it. It’s never just a one off comment, it’s a constant drip all day of negativity which is really draining.

Sounds like you’re a pretty negative person and complain about every little thing so that would be an appropriate response IMO. What do you want her reply to be?

Posted too soon but why on earth would you tell someone you ran out of bread or couldn’t get a stain out of a shirt?!

Would you rather they said, “get over yourself I don’t care”? This is probably what they mean whilst thinking here we go again with the moaning….

You do sound a bit Eeyore.

Maybe lighten up a bit, mates don't need to hear every bit of daily drudgery- we've all got our own!

A polite way of saying "I don't really give a shit"🤣

YANBU My boss does this. I think he imagines he sounds caring to those he says it to. Instead he just sounds scripted.

What do you expect them to say instead?

Do you complain a lot? Sounds like you do. Why would your friend need to know you’ve run out of milk?!

The examples I’ve given are more our generic conversation/explanations for things.

“sorry I haven’t messaged back in a couple of days, not been feeling too good”

they say they’ve had the best/worst sleep of their life “aw really, I had a really weird dream last night about…”

these things are literally just said in conversation and not me just randomly messaging/phoning saying these things.

generally I’m an introverted person and I don’t like talking to people, I get overstimulated very quickly and a quick 5 min phone call with this person to discuss a trip to the park turns into a 30 minute conversation of me not talking and them going on about the same thing 5 times.

God you're picky OP. Firstly not everyone has an amazingly wide vocabulary and even if a person does, most people have certain phrases and words that they use a lot (yes you will too). Secondly, what do you want her to say instead? Sounds like you moan a lot!

You probably both need to lighten up abit:
"I ran out of bread"
"Quick, call the Police, they may still be able to catch the buggers who stole it.."

you lot are also so touchy 😂 literally said in the post it’s not even a super serious post, it was literally a lighthearted and funny post about the subtle things that people do to annoy you.

But it's not funny and the way you phrase it doesn't seem light hearted. If you come across this miserably in real life, no wonder they're always sorry to talk to you!

how Can you tell from 4/5 quotation marks whether or not someone is miserable every minute of their life

theyre always sorry to talk to me.
you’re the kind of person who preaches positive mental health, then puts others down on the internet.

This. ^

When my DH isn't really listening/CBA with what I or anyone else is on about if we are going on about something, he says 'hmm, fancy that' or 'hmm can't be bad...' I do the same to him now.

The phrase that irks me (and I know people mean well when they say it) is when someone dies, and people say 'sorry for your loss.' I am dreading DH dying and people spouting this shit.. I will be so tempted to say 'he's not lost, he's dead.' I truly HATE that saying.

You can't say ANYthing negative/a bit moany on here without people calling you a miserable git. Pay no attention. Don't let people put you off posting.

I think it’s just a quick way to shut down your miserable and boring conversation starters.

I think honestly if you are expecting empathy when telling someone you have run out of bread you are being unrealistic.

Nobody is going to give a shit tbh and why should they?

One thing to expect empathy and consideration if you are grieving, getting divorced or have been fired but it must be absolutely exhausting being around someone who is this “woe is me” about anything so trivial.

It literally wouldn’t occur to me to tell anyone I had run out of bread, let alone expect empathy.

I get what you mean. It’s annoying. Like she’s making it into something it’s not. I have a friend that gets on my wick similarly by using the ‘care’ emoji react for everything on Facebook.
Pretty view - ‘care’
fun with my family - ‘care’
Status about charity fundraiser - ‘care’
URGH! I’m not asking for care so stop giving it!! 😆

@BeanieTeen as said in previous posts these are conversations starters these are things said in conversation

@Thepeopleversuswork Believe me I’m in no way shape or form looking for empathy in any of these. These are simple throwaway things taken out of context

“what are you up to?”

“just heading to the shop because I’ve ran out of bread and the kids wanted some toast”

”sorry to hear that”

@Comeagainow that is exactly the best way to explain it! Turning it into something it’s not! I’m not actually heartbroken over these things nor am I miserable about these things so I don’t need someone to be “sorry” about these things. Just general conversations.