To think some people are inherently jealous?

[PoppingBubbbles]

Even if they are doing better in life (on paper) they still feel jealous over what’s happening in your life?

@Sparkleofstsrdust Are you nice in real life?

Yes my sis in law is like this. Constant competition, oneupmanship, passive aggressive comments. Has an established career, nice house healthy kids she had consecutively but couldn’t help herself when my only dc had developmental problems so was delayed, so constant comments I can’t even go into them as they’re so pathetic, when I had my next child after a long gap she was the only one to make a dig. I think she’s deep down insecure about things but made me feel awful to the point it gave me anxiety being around her so I’ve gone really low contact. My life is far from perfect my relationship was rocky I had mental health issues which she added some fuel to with in laws but honestly I don’t even know how people can be like this. Not once was I jealous of her as I was too busy trying to deal with life. It would have been nice if she wasn’t like that as I could see us being good friends funnily
enough, her loss. I have felt slightly jealous in life but nothing malicious more like oh would be nice but never malicious although I did start to feel like that towards her and thought nope not going to spend my energy feeling shit.

No, I don't think it's overused.

People like to put others down to feel better, even if they don't actually want what someone else has.

Probably better described by insecurity than jealously.

Like putting someone down for being thin. They may not want to be thin but inside they probably have their own issues.

But again, it's really insecurity and general negativity.

I am SO jealous of people with mothers. And with siblings too (though to a lesser extent, because I don't even know what that's like)
When I was younger I'd feel rage at the unfairness of life that meant I lost my mum so young.
Bit never once have I wished anyone else didn't have a mum. Whether they did or not was irrelevant to my situation.
The only time I've felt envy was when the other person having something directly resulted in me not having it (gazumped for my dream house!) And I think it would have taken a saint not to wish I had it and they didn't in that circumstance.

I am a terribly insecure person who hides it well. This is due to years of bullying at high school, growing up in poverty, managing the shame, the fear and feeling less than others.

On paper, I am doing fairly well, above average household income (not high earning bracket) and in middle management. However, I cannot afford to shop high end, fly long haul on exotic holidays, live in a 4 bed roomy home. This affects me more than I let on to the outside world.

I am not malicious and do not secretly wish others do not have what I desire. I have friends who live in homes three times as big as mine and friends who live in flats. I can appreciate that our circumstances are different.

I cannot shake off this overwhelming need to prove to myself that 'I made it!'

I find that if I'm with the right kind of people who are kind and non judgmental then I am much more secure in myself. But the second someone comes along who is clearly insecure and displays a competitiveness I, for some reason, start feeling like I have to live up to them because they've made it a competition iykwim?
It's a shame us humans display these emotions and behaviours as life would be much sweeter without them..

I have recently noticed a ‘friend’ whose behaviour I’d just thought of as a bit mad is actually jealous & envious of nearly everyone but it’s morphed into extreme competitiveness. That’s when it gets incredibly difficult to sustain the friendship.
She is getting worse as she gets older - maybe deep rooted unhappiness in one’s personal life (no matter how good the rest of your life) causes this ?

Like FannySqueers I am madly envious of people with relatives - especially fun, kind, helpful ones. It’s why I don’t use Facebook! Sometimes people are dealt much better cards, and having those cards waved in your face is a challenge to the best of us.

I agree though that an inherently envious/jealous nature is not nice. Mil could not bear to see anyone have anything she didn’t. Once we had a new sofa and when they arrived she and fil suddenly left and we discovered later they drove straight to John Lewis to buy a new one too. Quite bizarre.

Actually fil was a pretty jealous person as he didn’t want Dh to go to university “Because I didn’t get the chance to go.” We really did land some duff relatives

I dunno.. I'm not jealous OR envious.. but I have felt possessiveness..
Even the Queen has shit times. Life's a rollercoaster for everyone!