AIBU in how a manage household money?

[Maggie178]

OH gives me a set amount every month. £400 We've always had separate accounts. I pay for all our household bills, groceries, everything the kids need, car tax and insurance, holidays, anything in the house that needs fixing. I've utterly lost it today when I noticed a pair of shoes that he's barely worn chucked in the bin. How does he have money to waste??
How do other couples organise their household budget because right now I feel like a mug

We have seperate accounts, but pay money in to a joint account to cover all bills and food, plus some for savings. Whatever we have left is ours to spend, but we both help each other out if the other is short one month.

Is it 1957?

@NumberSixteen does your dh contribute equally to nursery in your scenario?

Everything is one pot we don’t have separate money. All the regular bills, direct debits etc the money is transferred into another account where that comes out of. Money after that is discussed each month so we know what expenses are coming up and we both use that account.

We have one pot, we consult if buying something bigger/non-standard but otherwise just get on with it.

We have separate accounts but view all money as joint. I am better with finances so I organise both our investment portfolios and cash savings. DH can spend what he likes but luckily we are both frugal and have similar views on spending.

Because he doesn't want to spend any more of HIS money on his living expenses and his children.... why should he when you'll pick up the tab for him!

To bring home £1400 he earns on average £1750 a month gross.

Tell him he'd be paying £280 in CMS alone, or £330 if there are more than 2 kids. Makes his £400 for all living costs AND contributions to the childrens costs seem a bit pathetic doesn't it!

Well that doesn't sound fair at all. I was a sahm. My husband (high earner) had an ex to support and so he had his own account and we had a joint account. He paid the mortgage and bills, pension contributions etc from his, then put about £2000 in our joint each month. I paid for anything to do with the kids and groceries from this. Major purchases (like a TV) we discussed. I also had a credit card which he paid without comment.
I wasn't extravagant- I didn't get married til 40 so was used to paying my way and it was an adjustment for sure.

Have always just had the one account, everything goes in/out of that and a joint credit card
Probably only works if you both have same attitude to money tho
He earns more than me and has always done so

So what! He has children to pay for and a house to run. Plus If he's earning what you say he's not skint after giving £400.

Give him 500 and tell him to deal with everything

We have separate accounts but husband pays half of all bills into my account and it all goes from there. I'm better at managing money and bills then he is hence it going into my account but completely equal.

We have separate bank accounts but a family PayPal account we put £100 a week each in and just withdraw whatever we have spent on family stuff mainly food/ essentials.

Bigger items we use a credit card and pay it off when we can.

Oh and for mortgage and bills I pay the mortgage he pays the bills

DH and I have a joint bills account, which we both pay into - he pays slightly less than me because I earn more (and he has historically done more childcare and housework than me). We also have a couple of joint savings accounts, for holidays and bigger household expenses.
We then each have our own accounts. He's a spender and I'm a saver, but we can do with our own money as we please, so long as it doesn't impact on the family pot.

A husband and father who works full time earning that amount of money does not get to give you £400 and keep the rest of his salary!!

you need to put your foot down and do it sharpish preferably before his next pay day!!!

Its fine one to have separate bank accounts and one person sorting bills but you need transparency of earnings and breakdown of bills. So you each put in the same proportion of money and savings. I'm guessing it should be nearer £1000 a month if your paying everything

Pay both salaries into one joint account that all household, kid and joint fun expenses come out of. Agreed amount into short and long term savings. Each get the same amount of monthly pocket money to spend on whatever we want. I spend mine on clothes, books, socialising and he spends his on his hobby stuff and gadgets and subscriptions. We’ve both been the higher earner at certain points and this way seems the fairest for us.

I voted YABU, because why on earth would you agree to this sort of arrangement? It genuinely baffles me how many women people think this is acceptable.

DH and I have a joint account and separate accounts. All money goes into the joint account and pays all bills, all things children need, savings etc. Our separate accounts get a nominal amount (equal) into each every month to spend as we wish on ourselves. We have always been this way, because our marriage is a partnership.

We put the same percentage of our wages into our joint account for the household finances.
DH does the majority of the saving funds because he earns more and I am terrible with money.

@Onandupw All our money is joint so yes, it's just easier for me to pay nursery before I transfer the rest to our joint account and then all the bills come out of the joint account which I guess technically is all from DH's salary.

I'm annoyed reading about the shoes going to landfill instead of charity!

On payday dw transfers £1000 into the Bills account and I put £550 in the bills account. Then I pay for the food and any other bits.

Who pays rent?

£400??? This is what I'd expect to pay in a houseshare as a single person. Why is he only paying this?