AIBU in how a manage household money?

[Maggie178]

OH gives me a set amount every month. £400 We've always had separate accounts. I pay for all our household bills, groceries, everything the kids need, car tax and insurance, holidays, anything in the house that needs fixing. I've utterly lost it today when I noticed a pair of shoes that he's barely worn chucked in the bin. How does he have money to waste??
How do other couples organise their household budget because right now I feel like a mug

Does that include the 400 or is that just your part? Either way hos part needs upping.

A while back while I was in a similar arrangement I used to keep track of the bills and we'd divide it. It's relatively easy now to track outgoings with online banking etc. In my opinion you should both end up with roughly the same disposable income. You need to renegotiate OP!

Well - you’re a mug then

He has about £1000 disposable income each month after he has paid his lodgings. If you had a spare bedroom an actual lodger would be a better financial contributor. How much do you have left after you have paid for pretty much everything?

Our earnings are similar so we each pay a set amount into a joint bills account and savings. Anything left in our own accounts is ours to spend as we wish.

Then I put money away for savings, holiday and Christmas. We need to sit down and work this out better

£400 is very little to contribute each month.

So every month you have approx 1100 left after bills and he has 900-1200, but you then have to take off savings, Christmas and hols from your money. You need to increase his contribution to include those extras.

He always says he skint though

Why is throwing away the shoes if there's nothing wrong with them?

So he pays 400 & you pay 900??!!

It really triggered me. He could have at least put them in a charity bag.

@Maggie178 of course he's skint he keeps buying shoes to throw away!

We have separate accounts. We've been together since we were relatively young and having joint accounts seemed odd but we've never changed it. Dh earns more than double what I do. He puts £900 into my account each month and that covers his half of the bills and stuff I pay. He also pays for the car, broadband, tv licence. But we both buy food, stuff for the kids, days out. He never refuses to pay for household/kid stuff because he has given me money. It is both our responsibility. I think he covers more for xmas and birthday presents too. He does buy himself more stuff but I think that is fair as he earns more and he'd buy me something I asked for in a heartbeat.

Are the children joint ones?

I just don't understand how anyone could do that. I guess I grew up poor, but surely you hang on to them in case you want to wear them one day or you give them away. No wonder our planet is fucked.

Yes

Perhaps should work out total expenses and each of you pay a percentage of your income. So if you earn 60% of the total household income you'd pay 60% of all bills. It seems like yours vary every month so you'd have to work it out pay day.

I suggest you create an additional account for household expenses and you both pay into it. That way you won't have a problem with his credit rating. He could at least have sold unworn shoes on eBay, surely! You need to sit down together and discuss necessary and essential expenditure, and how much is reasonable to other joint financing (e.g. house insurance, repairs, holidays). You should also be taking into account things like savings, investment and pensions. Also you should have Wills made to ensure each is taken care of in the event of anything unfortunate happening. It is better to have a Will and change it (e.g. if another child comes along), than not have one at all.

So do you pay £1,300 and he pays £400? Or is £1,300 the total bills?

In this house my partner (father of my kids) pays £1,500 towards our bills and I pay £360.
I also work part time to make sure I’m about for the kids.
House is in joint names.

All money in joint account
All bills/savings paid from joint account
Set amount of "fun" money into personal accounts

This has seen us through a variety of changes in income/expenditure without argument.

This is what we do. I earn significantly more than my husband so he sends me a portion of his wage covering his percentage of all the bills. He pays for petrol himself and I pay for childcare and food myself.

He is terrible with money (ADHD) so we sit down and go over his account once a week to make sure he knows what he has left, what he wants to spend and what he wants to add to our savings account.

Joint accounts. DH earns between 1800-2000. Usually I earn 1200 as I'm part time and currently I'm on mat leave. Although my wages go into my own account and then are transferred to pay for nursery and into a 'food' account so we can keep track of what we spend every month. The remainder goes into the joint account and we have equal access to use for anything after all bills are paid.
You definitely need to discuss with him as it sounds completely unfairly split.

is the £400 all your husband pays towards your family expenses? Does it include rent/mortgage?

This is shocking.

If i understand correctly, you earn £2000 not including overtime and he averages £1450 per month.
Your contribution to the household is 65% and his is just over 27%. Time for some straight talking. His petrol costs should be treated in the same way as your travel costs and not some special allowance.