Getting that NQR feeling about a guy but ignoring it?

[HarryPotterDucks]

I’ve meet a guy. Things are pretty dry at the moment and I’ve built it up to what I want it to be.

When I first meet him there were a few red flags and I’ve had the feeling something is not quite right.

i should go with my gut instead of ignoring it. I’ve got slim pickings at the moment which is why I think I’m still messaging him.

Anyone ever ignore the red flags and it all ended happy after?

Go to a sperm bank.

Lots of surgeons don’t even earn close to half your £200k estimate.

“Electrical Stuff” could be anything, lots of computer tech people are going to be earning a lot. If that’s what you mean.

All that aside though, you don’t like the guy. Your suspicious of him and think he’s a weirdo so ditch him

Don’t ignore your gut. There are other options - the first being to stay single till you meet someone who is right, and trustworthy.
You won’t meet that person while you’re wasting time with this one though.

My friend is a high voltage electrician doing very specialised contract work and earns £150k+ a year so not outwith the realms of possibility.

He sounds like a liar though from the other things you have said so I would run a mile.

"In order to be safe; always ignore red flags and your gut feeling"

-Ghandi

So you’ve only met once, still messaging, but think that having kids with the guy is somewhat likely? You sound either v immature or overly desperate, and also bizarrely focused on his salary / a surgeon’s salary- is this the main pro of this guy in your eyes? Slow down, the wrong guy is worse than no guy esp as a father to your future kids.

It is very risky to judge a man mainly on things, such as his earnings and how reliable a worker he is and whether he's likely to keep his job going forward and whether the the disciplinary at work might have been due to a careless and lazy habit and not an honest mistake. If you don't factor in personality; shared interests, similar life goals, kindness, it probably isn't going to work, as he will sense he is just being valued for his earning power, and he might be worried that he won't be happy with you.

I wouldn't worry to much, as I don't think this will go anywhere. Wait for someone you can 'read' better to come along. It is always hard to tell if a problem at work - a disciplinary, is a sign of dishonesty, if you don't really understand their trade/ profession, and they don't appear to be making it clear to you. But what can you do? The fact that he has told you about the disciplinary suggests he wants to be open and truthful and confidential with you, so you can read that much about who he is.

Just no OP.

Are you prepared to be a lone parent? If you are just get in with it.

If you aren't then move on and find someone decent.

Being a single mum isn't for the weak, it's hard but way better than being with an asshole.

Believe me.

she’s right though. you sound worryingly immature

Where on earth did you get the idea surgeons earn £200k? I have a friend married to a surgeon, he’s not fully qualified/ consultant level yet but I don’t get the impression he will eventually earn that much and a quick Google suggests an NHS surgeon’s average base salary is about £75k and £110k for a consultant. Obviously some will be on more but I don’t think £200k is the norm.

uk.indeed.com/career/surgeon/salaries
www.glassdoor.co.uk/Salary/NHS-Consultant-Surgeon-Salaries-E12873_D_KO4,22.htm

This can't be real.

OP, if your biological clock is ticking and you're getting red flags from this guy then MOVE ON. Why are you wasting your prescious time with some bullshitter that brags about his income to someone he barely knows?

"no other options"... What about being single? The desperation to attach oneself to a man at any cost leads to these red flags. Life is a lot richer without being weighed down by liars and fantasists.

Great. Then you can join the army of poverty-stricken single mothers taking their kids to meet their Saturday dad at a contact centre while you try and figure out how to get your UC payments to stretch to all the bills.

If you're independently wealthy, have kids without a man. Tying yourself to a useless male is an anchor dragging down your life. He will have just as much parental rights as you have. You won't be able to control what he does to them in his own time. Don't you're hypothetical kids deserve a little better?

Are you that desperate to be with someone that you'll overlook all these things?

I think I’m reading this post differently to everyone else. I think it’s the guy that should run a mile!

Ignore that, I've just read the rest of the thread which answers that question.🙄

OP - more shit than a field of bulls. I don’t believe one word of this. And yes I’ve reported.

This could be a classic scam, OP. Do you by any chance have financial resources such as a high paid job? The high earnings he is telling you about is a classic. Some time in he will be talking about difficulty accessing some of his own money and can you help out temporarily, etc. etc. Go with your gut. Your as yet unborn DC will thank you for a decent father.

OP is a total rocket.

In the NHS surgeons earn £120,000 plus a year

You’ve met him once?!

When was that?
It is long distance?
How often do you communicate?

Sorry but this is just absurd, OP. I agree with PP, you should not have kids right now. That’s not to say you shouldn’t in future. Just not right now.

You sound incredibly emotionally immature and lack capacity to make important decisions. Do you have a support network? Friends and family you can speak to?

A trip to the sperm bank is less hassle than 18 years of red flags.

He didn't say he earmt 200k pa, you did.

It he's an IT guy at Amazon, which you could have misunderstood as being "something electrical" he could easily earn 100K plus but not that much unless he's a senior manager.

But why is saying he earns more than a surgeone a particular red flag anyway? You don't know that he's lying.

This whole OP seems like a classic MN setup to me - get the witches to say they'd snare a man cos he's rich.