Page 16 | I really liked my neighbour until she said this

neighbourhoodwatch · 2022-08-18T22:00:32+00:00

I've recently moved to a new area and was talking to my neighbour, who I really like. Somehow the conversation went to GPs and how you can never get appointments and basically have to beg to be seen nowadays. She was saying how it didn't used for be that way... before... She then went on to say that it's because of all the immigrants that have come into this country and how our country is too small to hold all these people. She also talked about the illegals coming in on boats etc and how terrible it is. I am immigrant. I didn't come on a boat and I have a good job etc. But essentially I came to this country. I've never claimed benefits or anything like that. I'm on a high salary etc and studied here etc etc. So, I'm well established. Essentially whenever people say stuff like that, alarm bells start ringing for me. Am I seeing it too black and white ? It's just difficult when someone says stuff like this to someone who also came here..... as an immigrant...

BirmaBrite · 20/08/2022 22:02

It grants access to GP’s services for all foreign visitors and also to illegal immigrants.

Does it specifically state 'illegal immigrants' ? that seems odd if it does ? Do you have a link which states this ?

ChobKnees · 20/08/2022 22:05

Minimochi · 19/08/2022 06:14

I had moved to the UK when I was just out of high school. I remember someone talking to me the morning after the first Brexit vote. He was so excited about the result and asked me whether I had voted. He was then rather shocked when I told him that no, I didn't actually have any vote in this since I am not a British citizen. He hadn't realised that I wasn't British.
Same with some of our neighbours. Yes, I was told that it wasn't about people like me. Obviously. But that doesn't change the fact that "people like me" are immigrants, too.
For nearly two decades, I had paid university fees, taxes, etc. same as anyone else; we had a house and a mortgage. Never been on benefits. DH is British and DS has dual nationality. The UK was my home but it suddenly felt as if "people like me" were simply unwelcome because we just come to get the benefits and live off the state.
If you want to be friends, I'd probably steer clear of those topics. Alternatively, find someone else to be friends with.

We moved back to my original country after that vote. The UK can keep their NHS and their benefits. I earn way more here, have a higher standard of living and can get a same-day GP appointment without a problem. (We didn't have any issues with that during Covid, either.) It's ridiculous to believe all immigrants move to the UK for money and healthcare reasons or that their children clog up the schools and don't speak English.

I never understand this argument. Why does Brexit make people xenophobic?

The Scottish referendum isn't seen as the Scottish hating the English and Welsh, it's about them wanting to take back political control and freedom and they have every right to that, doesn't mean they hate the English or Welsh.

BirmaBrite · 20/08/2022 22:16

People keep arriving in boats on the coast from France claiming asylum

@woodhill Yes that is true, but if they are scooped up and put in the system can that be described as uncontrolled ? And what percentage do those people represent as a whole of those people who emigrate to the UK for whatever reason ?

Ineke · 20/08/2022 22:19

This attitude is in die hard racists. Not worth the time of day. Not even worth a confrontation, her mind is set and you won’t shake it so just keep your distance and don’t get involved.

woodhill · 20/08/2022 22:20

Yes but there is no knowing how many people will continue to come and no way to stop it, it seems. Can we send them away?

Where is the money for this and where will they all live?

How is it fair on people already here needing housing and healthcare who actually pay into the system

saraclara · 20/08/2022 22:30

I think there are different kinds of immigrants. There’s a right way and a wrong way to do it. The OP obviously went about it the correct way. I have friends from Poland that live permanently in the U.K. they have good jobs and they pay taxes here, that contributes to the nhs.

Presumably they were able to do so because they are EU nationals who could simply rock up and come and live and work here. Those who are coming over on the boats do not have any other means of applying to live here. They cannot apply for asylum without landing on our shores, because our government won't let them fill in the paperwork and apply outside the UK..

The government can't say 'well they should do this the legal way' when they don't provide any means of doing so.

Asylum seekers WANT to work and pay taxes. But the government will not allow them to. Nor do they have recourse to public funds. They get £35 a week and that's it. Of course they want to work.

dcthatsme · 20/08/2022 23:09

Well at least you found out what she's really like sooner rather than later. Yes agree, I'd stick to polite hellos and leave it at that.

goldfinchfan · 20/08/2022 23:12

if therewere no borders then there can be no welfare state,
Then people whi are ill and disabled cannot survive.

spongedog · 20/08/2022 23:19

@saraclara · Today 22:30

"... Nor do they have recourse to public funds. They get £35 a week and that's it. Of course they want to work."

Some benefit rules were changed during 2022 to enable NRPF families to claim. Eg free school meals eligibility. The allowance is approx £3 per school day per child, and has been £15 per week during holidays over the last couple of years. That's approx £750 per child pa.

Fancydancer1934 · 20/08/2022 23:28

saraclara · 20/08/2022 22:30

I think there are different kinds of immigrants. There’s a right way and a wrong way to do it. The OP obviously went about it the correct way. I have friends from Poland that live permanently in the U.K. they have good jobs and they pay taxes here, that contributes to the nhs.

Presumably they were able to do so because they are EU nationals who could simply rock up and come and live and work here. Those who are coming over on the boats do not have any other means of applying to live here. They cannot apply for asylum without landing on our shores, because our government won't let them fill in the paperwork and apply outside the UK..

The government can't say 'well they should do this the legal way' when they don't provide any means of doing so.

Asylum seekers WANT to work and pay taxes. But the government will not allow them to. Nor do they have recourse to public funds. They get £35 a week and that's it. Of course they want to work.

35 quid a week? How do they survive?

Freedomfighters · 20/08/2022 23:29

Loics · 20/08/2022 21:32

That was my point. People are adamant that illegal immigrants are destroying the British economy and infrastructure. I am well accustomed to academic research through work, however I can't find anything reputable that backs up these claims, hence why I asked for your source. 🙂
If you want to discuss the infrastructure of the country, you should be prepared to back your opinions up, surely?

I'm not particularly talking about illegal immigration. It's mass immigration as a whole.
But briefly, in 2011 census, 1 in 5 of the native population is not of British origin. The newest census, I have no doubt, will be in far excess of that.

Does this help you on your research journey?

www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/uk-population-by-ethnicity/national-and-regional-populations/population-of-england-and-wales/latest.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/datasets/populationandhouseholdestimatesenglandandwalescensus2021

Really though, you could look this stuff up yourself quite easily.

Autumn61 · 20/08/2022 23:50

YANBU. Your neighbour is a racist but probably thinks she’s the most tolerant person on the planet ! You can’t change stupid but you can let her know your outlook ,she just told you hers !

Dasher789 · 20/08/2022 23:51

I think this massively depends where you live. There are areas of the UK or towns where immigration has hugely changed things. I previously lived in a small city where this was the case. It was harder to get GP appts and school standards had fallen over the years. Not because the immigrants were bad but simply because the population had rapidly increased and the local services didnt keep up. If you live in an area where immigration is low the then YANBU and the comment is totally unwarranted.

LittleGreenMartian · 20/08/2022 23:59

NannyGythaOgg · 18/08/2022 23:29

My usual 'challenge' is to ask 'What did you do to be lucky enough to be born here?' ?????

Following up with - Yes, you were born here - doesn't that make you lucky, not entitled. ????? Sometimes, (if they are otherwise decent people) it makes them think. Otherwise meh ... I'm not going to waste any more time with them.

I know you mean well but to be honest I don't like it. Yes, of course, you are lucky to be born here rather than in impoverished conditions in a slum but it makes it sound like countries that have obvious slums (like my country of origin) are inferior. It sounds like you are asking to pity people who have come from 3rd world countries (which I assume is what you are talking about) and that every immigrant from a third world country has come here because their own country is so shitty. That's not true. We've all come to the UK for all kinds of reasons and haven't necessarily traded a slum dwelling for a life of luxury.

LittleGreenMartian · 21/08/2022 00:06

ChobKnees · 20/08/2022 22:05

I never understand this argument. Why does Brexit make people xenophobic?

The Scottish referendum isn't seen as the Scottish hating the English and Welsh, it's about them wanting to take back political control and freedom and they have every right to that, doesn't mean they hate the English or Welsh.

Show quote history

I don't think that everyone who wanted to leave the EU did so for racist reasons. I suspect that Jeremy Corbyn actually did want Brexit and I don't think he's racist or xenophobic so would have loved to hear his arguments about it. Unfortunately, he had to pretend to be a remainer so we'll never know.

However, the leave campaign was definitely trying to appeal to people's sense of racism and xenophobia and ultimately though there might have been a few non xenophobic reasons to want Brexit I think most people who voted for it did it out of xenophobia. If the leave campaign hadn't made the point to firmly link Brexit and immigration then I don't think they would have won the referendum.

Oncilla · 21/08/2022 00:10

neighbourhoodwatch · 20/08/2022 20:44

“When people expressing concerns (however ignorantly) like your neighbor are not listened to and just written off with a slogan of DailyFail Reader, Brexiter, racist, and not engaged with, then they are sitting ducks for the far right who do listen and give them all the time they want.”

I think this is very true.

For what it's worth, I don't hate my neighbour now. I'm just disappointed and honestly I do feel a bit like she probably must think of me as a foreigner, rather than just her neighbour and I don't like that feeling. I speak with an English accent, have spent the majority of my school life and university as well as working here.. I just want to be her neighbour. But somehow now I feel she thinks of me as the foreign neighbour. This is totally my own hang up. However, her comments caused that reaction in me, no matter how unreasonable that is. Anyway, totally going off topic there.

For what it's worth, most countries on earth don't like immigrants and feel threatened by foreigners coming to their land. It's not an exclusively British thing. It must be a primeval thing in people. Lots of European countries are seeing a huge resurgence of the right wing parties because the French, the Germans and the Italians are also sick of immigration. They don't all just come to Britain, they also go to those countries.

She probably does see you as her foreign neighbour. Her "token", I'm not racist I have a <insert ethnicity> friend.
I'd be uncomfortable with her getting too close. My husband is of mixed heritage. After he commented on a "mate's" a rant on Facebook this friend said to him, "you're ok mate, you can stay". As if it was a gift he could grant as a superior citizen.

Solonge · 21/08/2022 00:14

I dont think a lot of us feel lucky to have been born here right now...the country is a nasty mess.....caused by the present party....I would exchange all of the present government for all the immigrants. Immigrants tend to work hard and do well in the UK...which is a lot more use than those in the house of commons.

strugglingmum82 · 21/08/2022 00:15

We simply didn't provide the infrastructure for the amount of migrants coming into the county. We still aren't.

A new housing estate is being built on the edge of my town, 300-350 homes but no extra schools or doctor's surgeries. Again, no infrastructure and the local population suffer. It's daft

Notanother1 · 21/08/2022 00:15

Uhh, sorry. I know the nicest people and then they turn round and say the same thing, I can’t really ever feel the same way about them again (I’m not an immigrant). It’s a sorry state of affairs. Rupert Murdoch and his ire have a lot to answer for. And the Tories just want to divide so they can profit from the mess. 12 years of Tory rule and piss taking but some people just can’t open their eyes to it.

FixItUpChappie · 21/08/2022 00:49

Why can't you be friendly neighbours who disagree on some things? Maybe you will open her mind to a few different ideas or maybe you will just enjoy pleasant conversations about the garden. She has a different background, perspective and set of worries than you...that doesn't necessarily make her a racist bitch 🤷‍♀️ Have we just completely lost the ability to discuss, disagree and carry on in a civil fashion with one another?

Reimu · 21/08/2022 04:13

She didn't say anything wrong, she was clearly speaking about illegal immigrants, not simply any immigrant who enters the country legally going by what you are saying, it's obvious though for some reason you did not specify that important detail. There have been some fiscally irresponsible choices in some states and countries that use your taxpayer to pay for someone else who does not, increasing the financial burden which is already strained enough taking care of your own poor and needy. This is just common sense and it is perfectly ok and acceptable to criticize illegal immigration and the issues it brings.
There is a lot to talk about on that subject but there is nothing wrong about complaining about the impact of illegal immigration, nor should anyone in the comment's first instinct be to view them as a "bigot" or "racist".

pounchill · 21/08/2022 04:22

I recently saw this people online or friends slating travelers and were harsh.Hated that. Then they moved onto a field nearby and absolutely destroyed it, the mess and destruction was obscene. However I still don't like to go around telling people that, forcing a view on people because it doesn't mean they're all bad, and don't want to make people uncomfortable or force any view on someone.

Lipsandlashes · 21/08/2022 04:24

apintortwo · 19/08/2022 00:55

It's really odd that she said all this to you and did not realise you are an immigrant yourself.

Where have you immigrated from OP?

Yes, very interesting that the OP managed to find out her neighbour was a xenophobe, potential racist, Tory, Brexit voter in one conversation but the neighbour somehow wasn’t told the OP was an immigrant.

kateandme · 21/08/2022 05:04

She does know that 30% of our nhs workers we "got" from abroad before brexit told them get out and buggered them off.so this is a race problem yes.racist.that we now have told them we don't want them and now can't function without them! Who knew.(i use them purposefully)
Made me fucking laugh this week when Tory man looking smug,announced like some bigshot he was starting a new scheme to get workers from abroad over to help in our nhs!What.a.twat. It's like the police all over again.no mate you aren't the greatest,you got rid of them in thefirst place.

ImaginaryDragon · 21/08/2022 05:57

FixItUpChappie · 21/08/2022 00:49

Why can't you be friendly neighbours who disagree on some things? Maybe you will open her mind to a few different ideas or maybe you will just enjoy pleasant conversations about the garden. She has a different background, perspective and set of worries than you...that doesn't necessarily make her a racist bitch 🤷‍♀️ Have we just completely lost the ability to discuss, disagree and carry on in a civil fashion with one another?

The just smile and ignore the issue mindset is worse than racism itself.

"I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to 'order' than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice "

Martin Luther King