Dh thinks I should call in sick

[ShittyCar]

Dh alcoholic
Has a detox "booked" provisionally in a couple of weeks, but as it is at home, I need to be there.

Background: police involved, he is verbally abusive when drunk, social visit on Monday and I cannot decide whether to disclose everything. Have told police already not to do a non mol as he was so angry about being arrested last time (no charges, but spent 24 hes in a cell)

So, cannot get the week off. Have asked for leave, denied as no cover due to no other managers. (Simplified version)

Dh says I am not being supportive and should call sick. I say this will risk a disciplinary and possibly my job.

Yabu : call sick, show more support
Yanbu: dont risk your job as you are the only one currently working and we are already in debt.

Hes fine to the kids

He may not be abusive to them - but them seeing him constatly verbally abusing you must be extremely upsetting for them, and hardly modelling ideal relationships or behaviour.
Taking time off to assist with his detox is the least of your problems.
I hope that your meeting goes well, and you identify a route out.

You need to push back on the Detox nurse. He will have told her you have agreed to this and will be there. That you are fine taking the responsibility. I cannot believe she knows children would be present too. Tell her you cannot and they need to rethink.

What you are experiencing in him telling you to call in sick is coercive control, which is a crime in itself. Use this as an example when speaking to the Safeguarding team. It is all about him, with minimal, if any, concern for you or dc or effort on his part. Did he not get physical with your dd recently?

Me neither .

Who wants to be with a drunk

I would be telling them you'll never be available for his detox. Sod that for a game of a soldiers. You are being abused, and this is not your job.