To leave my child in nursery longer than necessary?

[Nurseryy]

One DS who is 2. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and I'm home with him the other 4.

I work part time from home and tend to finish around 3:30-4.

However sometimes I won't go and collect DS from nursery until 5:30/6 so I can just have some time to myself I use the time to go to the gym occasionally, sit with a brew, even have a nap every now and then.

I feel a little bad as he is tired when he gets home but that's also good in a way because he sleeps like a log afterwards!

He gets dropped off around 8:30-9am.

If I got him earlier he'd also miss dinner which I'm still paying for at nursery so I'd be paying for that and then feeding him here.

So is it terrible?! (My mum thinks it's cruel).

His dad is not around btw.

I’d do it. And have, on many occasions.

Sounds like it’s the only break you get. If he’s tired and sleeps well when he gets home and you’re getting some downtime that’s a win win.

No, much better he is having his tea and playing with his friends at nursery while you get some quality down time. A burnt out mum won't do him any good.

Nope!!

Firstly, he's your child, not your mum's.
Secondly, it's your money.
Thirdly, as long as he is happy, healthy, has fun and is well cared for, then carry on!

i used to and i worked 3 days in hte office and 2 days at home (flexible hours over the week as and when could) one of the home days i put him in nursery just so i could catch up on cleaning and washing

I do feel bad sometimes as he comes home and basically goes straight to bed after a quick bath. So I feel like I barely see him or spend time with him those 3 days but I'm so exhausted myself. It's the only time I get to just be me/spend it on myself.

It’s absolutely fine and healthy to have time for yourself. Many kids are in childcare for long hours 5 days a week - leaving yours in for longer on the three days seems fine to me!

I took Friday off work while both of my children were at nursery 8-6pm simply so i could have a day of doing only things for me including watching tv, drinking a hot coffee and reading a book that didn't have pictures! Never feel guilty for taking time for yourself, after all you pay for the childcare and he is your child not your mum's! 😀

Absolutely fine as long as he’s not unhappy there. I did similar occasionally - or did some housework before picking up as impossible to get much done with young DC. If I’d been a single parent I’d have done it regularly in order to have some “me time”.

I also kept DC1 in nursery whilst on mat leave with DC2, although tended to drop late and pick up early. Had comments that it was cruel but a sleep-deprived mum constantly feeding DC2 was never going to be able to give DC1 much attention.

Absolutely fine. You pay for a service which is until their closing time. I do it on occasion if I have an early finish and really enjoy that time. No guilt whatsoever.

Happy mummy happy child.
Do what you need to do.
I leave my children at nursery even when I'm off work!! 🤣😂 I love them but I need a break, need to do chores or just because they've been awfully moody and are more entertained with other kids at nursery than just at home with me.

Tell your mum she's more than welcome to pick him up at 3, give him tea and take him to the park for a couple of hours 😛

Definitely not unreasonable. You're with him four full days a week, you're single-handed, your life doesn't have to be just work-childcare-sleep-repeat. 3-5 hours of free time a week is not unreasonable! It's not like you've stuck him in a cupboard under the stairs - he's being fed well and cared for in an environment he's comfortable in. As you were!

DP and I are planning to take a day off work once summer holidays are over when DD1 is at school and DD2 is at nursery and go on an adults only day out 😈What WOULD OP's mother say?!

She lives an hour away! 😂

Thank you I feel better!

I have this internal battle every single Wednesday afternoon when I work a half day- I can’t only have DS in for a half as the train doesn’t get me back on time so we pay for the day. The first few weeks I rushed like a mad thing to get to him and hurry him home.

one day I looked at my hair that desperately needed a cut, thé pile of washing, the book I hadn’t read that I got for Christmas, the bra I needed to take back to M&S, the chicken curry recipe I hadn’t got round to trying, and the list went on and on. Now Wednesday afternoon is for doing one of the things in my list, and going for lunch/coffee. Then I go and get DS, still lots earlier than his regular pick up time. He doesn’t go to nursery on Mondays so we have that as ‘our’ day.

In years to come he won’t be grateful or thank you for coming to pick him up early- he won’t care.

I'm also leaving DD2 in nursery when I'm on leave looking after DD1 during the holidays - gives her some much needed 121 time and keeps DD2 in her routine. I daresay there are those who would think that cruel as well, but in term time baby gets a day off with me and a day off with her dad every week whilst DD1 is at school - it's only fair to let the eldest have a bit of undivided attention too!

cough not to mention we are paying through the nose whether she's there or not cough

I wouldn't do it but I have a dh who is an equal partner and I know I'd get a break. You won't unless you so this. Don't feel guilty and don't overshare with your mum. To be the best mum you can be sometimes you will need to put yourself first.

We're a 2 parent household and leave the kids at nursery until half 5 (they're open til 6) generally even when we finish work early.

You're paying for the childcare and need some time to yourself too so you'd be mad not to.

She lives an hour away! 😂

Aha! In which case you could feign chagrin and say "you're quite right mother, I'll cut along there the second I'm finished working, thank heavens for DC he has you to look out for his best interests!".... and then just carry on as you and your child are happy with 😆

Absolutely fine, and very sensible of you to have some quality time for yourself too. Especially as he's only there 3 days a week.

It’s 3 days a week, ignore her it’s absolutely fine. My son goes to nursery 3 days a week too, I also finish work at 4 and do occasionally take him straight home (my office is right by his nursery) but I will often go and do the food shop without him, go meet a friend for a coffee and then go back for him around 5:30/6. Zero guilt here!

your boy is lucky he has you those 4 days. Tbh I did notice that when I picked up my youngest at 3.30 from nursery he was so much happier than when I got him at 5 but if it’s the only alone time you’re getting I don’t think I could sacrifice it either. I think I’d do the same as you tbh

You're a single parent with your son 4 full days a week? Of course you're not being unreasonable! That hour / 90 minutes is essential for you to get a break. Don't feel bad at all.