AIBU to yawn at middle class touting their kids as urchins and feral?

[bluebellsandcustard]

I find it particularly annoying and almost distasteful when people on SM who are very middle class, with extremely privileged kids describe their kids as 'urchins' and 'totally feral' when the realise that they're privately educated with every ski holiday/ music lesson/sports club going.

So tedious and actually, pretty insulting to real kids that are struggling.

Grrrrr

Relaxing and playing is lovely. I have never understood the idea that unbrushed hair is good. It takes a few seconds to brush hair.
I have also seen children with matted hair that is a nightmare to sort. Nothing idyllic about that.

It's because in certain circle's it's seen as a badge of honour.. How down with the kids & free-spirited one is..

So? In your circles? Maybe choose different circles if you don't like it. Badge of honour, or just enjoying sharing what they like to do with their kids? Nothing wrong with a bit of free-spiritedness,especially during the holidays when everyone's fed up with wearing uniforms and being in rigid routines.

I've no doubt one could find things/attitudes that could be labelled 'a badge of honour' in working-class circles. Peopie are very selectively sneery about what they consider fine to share on SM. The inverted snobbery is as bad as the regular snobbery. How dare people enjoy different lifestyles and make lighthearted remarks on SM about what they're up to!

No, of course not. Read it again .
It’s a list. Saying I need to buy carrots, apples and potatoes does not make an apple a potato.

@SupDuck That's ok then 👌 OPs making a storm in a teacup.

Same. I used to work in a very expensive private school, lots of feral kids there.

The faded boden dresses and hair a bit of a mess is certainly a certain look widely on display at camp bestival and other hang outs for that group ... that said we were there so what can I say ... mine were in whatever second hand/hand me downs I stuffed into the bag. We only had a certain amount of income but chose to direct it towards experiences and education rather than fashion. I'm head to toe in charity shop finds right now, what's wrong with that?

Doesn't annoy me. They obviously don't mean it literally. It's just a term of endearment.

What's wrong with second hand Boden, unbrushed hair and getting dirty? People read too much into things these days! Kids should be a bit feral in the summertime, when else can they go (ever so slightly) wild? It's really not a class issue, it's just what kids like to do!

It absolutely is a class issue, whilst MC parents can let their children do all that and it's seen as good parenting, without judgement and letting your children run free, a lower class parent letting their children run around in too small clothes with massive knots in their hair can equal being reported to social services. They literally cannot afford the scrutiny.

Does anyone remember those documentaries about the F Fulfords? They were a gentry family whose children really were awful - feral would be just about right. You only had to listen to the parents to understand why.

Being wealthy is no guarantee of a good upbringing. Some people are cushioned by wealth and have a 'rules/laws are for the little people' attitude. The most horrendous child I knew came from a very rich family.

(PS I know the Fulfords claim to be on their uppers, but their poor is not most people's poor.)

So MC families shouldn't do something because of the way some people judge 'lower class' families?

Running around barefooted on a holiday sounds lovely, but is completely different to the other situation you describe. They are not comparable.

Deliberately misinterpreting and twisting my point won't make it any less true. I am saying they get judged differently for doing the SAME thing and obviously that is wrong.

Same thing but different situations. If I drank a bottle of wine at lunchtime, while on holiday, no-one would think anything of it. If I did it while working, they would.

I also didn't realise 'lower class' children spent all their time with knotted hair, running around barefooted in inappropriate places? Even on benefits, we never did.

These threads always make me feel like I need a guide to how to Parent In Public, there’s always something that’s inadvertently irritating people 😳

(Have definitely called my scruffy child feral, dressed in secondhand clothes, talk about sustainability but can’t afford the Maldives and not on instagram)

I also didn't realise 'lower class' children spent all their time with knotted hair, running around barefooted in inappropriate places? Even on benefits, we never did.

That's not what pp meant. They don't. People are saying they couldn't as they'd be more likely to be reported to the authorities for doing so than the middle classes.

So you think struggling working class kids are feral urchins? And that they're co-opting the term?

They can use them because no child is a true 'feral urchin'...

One feral 8yr old child currently camped on my very middle class sofa. He hasn't had a hair cut since school broke up as he's apparently growing it for the cut he wants for holidays in October! Despite having more pairs of tracksuit bottoms and horror jeans than I can count he's wearing the grey pair that have multiple stains from the garden. I'm one that lets him go feral over the schools holidays if we don't have to go anywhere he's free to get up when he wants, dress how he wants, do what he wants.

Come September it will be back to school and back to activities after school. Feral by definition means little human contact he's quite happy with that some days 🤷‍♀️