AIBU to yawn at middle class touting their kids as urchins and feral?

[bluebellsandcustard]

I find it particularly annoying and almost distasteful when people on SM who are very middle class, with extremely privileged kids describe their kids as 'urchins' and 'totally feral' when the realise that they're privately educated with every ski holiday/ music lesson/sports club going.

So tedious and actually, pretty insulting to real kids that are struggling.

Grrrrr

No, you're not being unreasonable. It's annoying. There are a few families where I live who want to advertise their parenting styles using loud voices. I sometimes want to ask them discreetly if their child is deaf.

Yanbu, I am friends on sm with a woman who refers to her children as "wildlings"... Dresses them in old worn boden, hair unbrushed, the "wildlings" seem to spend their summers camping in upmarket campsites before their civilised holidays in France...

I expect kids that are actually struggling aren’t going to be reading SM belonging to the middle class mums, and they’re probably not too precious about who is allowed to be called an urchin. I can’t see anything to be annoyed by. People often use daft words to refer to their children, it doesn’t mean anything.

Do working class people on low incomes consider their kids to be ‘urchins’ then? I doubt it… YABU to be so precious about it.

@ClocksGoingBackwards i agree with OP that it's getting increasingly ubiquitous among certain mc groups to portray their family & kids as free, nature loving, eco warriors & bang on about recycling & saving the planet etc ... All well & good until the same families jet off skiing, to the Maldives, New York.... No regards for their carbon footprint... The majority are a bunch of hypocrites...

I think it's kind of annoying, but certainly not for the reasons you describe.

It must be your circle.

I havent seen anything like this on SM

Not seen this myself. But know from my years working in schools that behaviour issues, SEN and poor parenting are certainly not based on wealth.
I’ve worked with some children with very challenging behaviour that are from MC families that go skiing so I wouldn’t discard a parents views if they were reaching out / calling their DC’s behaviour ‘feral’.
Or they could just be being hyperbolic on SM.
In a similar manner, I call my young dog ‘wild’ at times, she’s clearly not, she’s just a puppy that’s learning.

I know some - too many - mc kids who could be described as feral. They're utterly wild, undisciplined, chronically unhappy and I think would be reported to the social services if they were working class.

I describe my kids as having 'gone feral' over the summer holidays because they won't get their hair cut or have a shower and have taken to scumming around in the same pairs of tatty shorts and grubby t shirts and easting handfuls of crisps for lunch. They're clearly not feral or in need in any way. It's just a descriptive adjective. There are no actual feral kids in the UK, though of course there are children living in poverty, which is not the same thing.

I hate it more when kids from council estates are referred to as feral.

The only time I have heard someone refer to her child as feral I thought it was amusing. But it wasn't on SM, it was face to face from a woman mildly exasperated that her (very well behaved nicely brought up) DD was five minutes late back to orchestra practice after a break.

Hmm irritating in a getting on your wick sort of way.

It would be 'distasteful' if the parents really thought it.

It's just a verbal exaggeration like, they're a complete princess, I nearly died, It was Baltic.

But^^ it's just a silly affectation of which we're all guilty, nah I think you're overthinking big time.

People actually struggling with their child don't describe them as feral.

They thing I've seen is younger reasonably well to do families pushing their children into their own interests and touting how cool their child is. Oh look my child skateboards, how cool is my tiny Tony Hawk? they gleefully giggle as they push poor, terrified Johnny down the half pipe for Instagram.

Only slightly exaggerating 😉

I agree. I’ve not seen any of this, you need to rethink your friendship group OP

Haha I haven't seen that as I'm not on SM but my constantly climbing, sitting on the floor to eat, sniffs everything child could give these so-called wildlings a run for their money. He's not actually feral, just autistic but I feel as though I'm trying to tame him.

I think people just want to come across as real free spirits.

Oh dear. I refer to DD7 as feral. Hadn't realised it could be annoying.

Both my Dds are very much cared for and are polite and have manners in the right environment, but DD2 is wildly different in personality to DD1. She loves to play in muck, she'll climb anything, I make her have her hair brushed, but it has a 'dragged through a hedge backward' look usually within half an hour. If it's either hot or wet, she'll strip most of her clothes off and her shoes and run around climbing trees.

I joke that she's 'feral' when actually she's just being her and loving being active and doing what kids should do. She'll soon be dragged home and put in the bath.

Oh my god, I know people like this. Makes me cringe.

Also, I'd never dream of referring to a child in poverty as feral or an urchin.

Agree with this.

Let me get this right - only working class DCs can be called 'urchins' and 'feral' ? 🙄😂
It sounds as though you haven't met enough middle class DCs. Feral is polite for some of them. 😂

Ive not come across this. Seems odd.

<shrug> I've seen some threads where posters are complaining about middle class kids looking scruffy and behaving in a feral way. Now this thread where mc parents are being accused of wrongly describing their dc as being like that.

As far as I can see, describing your dc as feral is just an absolutely standard British, exaggerated, vaguely humorous, self-deprecating way of mocking your own (often temporary) parenting fails or slackness. It's not remotely supposed to imply your child is an urchin in the Victorian sense, or that they're not well cared-for. It's just a 'Wow, my kids look a bit scruffy / go a bit hyper sometimes' thing, exaggerated for effect. I expect we're all guilty of exaggerating for effect sometimes. No need to take it seriously.

This is a very well articulated point that describes what I do with my "feral" DD when she's running around bare foot and scruffy.