AIBU to yawn at middle class touting their kids as urchins and feral?

[bluebellsandcustard]

I find it particularly annoying and almost distasteful when people on SM who are very middle class, with extremely privileged kids describe their kids as 'urchins' and 'totally feral' when the realise that they're privately educated with every ski holiday/ music lesson/sports club going.

So tedious and actually, pretty insulting to real kids that are struggling.

Grrrrr

I don’t know, when I use feral to describe my kid it means she’s basically like a wild animal. But she’s 2, so par for course I expect. I have never used it to imply she’s a free spirit or something, I don’t use it in an affectionate way either, it’s usually at then end of a bloody long day of chasing her down and trying to stop her from killing herself.

I grew up on a council estate, father died, abusive alcoholic mother, raised myself and my brother; however am now nicely dressed and considered MC by the people who don’t bother to look further than my nice coat and balayage.

Am I allowed to call my kids feral? Please do tell me the rules as I obvs missed that lesson at school because I only had 50% attendance due to aforementioned issues.

Oh. I'm not middle class, but people regularly assume I am for various reasons.

I call my little 9mo baby feral all the time. This is just a joke. I say it because he isn't that well socialised yet and is nervous around other babies. He also likes to bite me a lot at the moment 🙃

It didn't occur to me that it would offend anyone.

They are often spirited 😆

Are you implying that SEN is down to poor parenting?

I've been called feral before, I took it as a compliment.

Wildlings though

YABU. And implying struggling families have feral kids. Being ‘feral’ - as in boisterous, manic and non-stop - isn’t linked in the least to wealth.

Talk about looking for offence when there is none

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet I would define 'feral' as more free spirited, unkempt and untamed myself.

I know someone like this. The clothes are old and noticeably unironed, but recognisably, usually Boden. Nobody from the family can sneeze without it being recorded on SM, which is updated several times daily.

They have money behind them, and they're as conventional as can be, despite the front they like to present.

My kids were raised in NZ before moving back to the UK, 'barefoot and feral' was how we described our kids when they were little. If they were being little punks and someone asked how they were today, I'd often say 'borderline feral'. I still use the word now, myself and my kiwi friend call our kids collectively 'the kiwi ferals' when they're all together, even now.

Sorry if that upsets you op, but you don't get to tell people how to use a word, especially when you seem to not know what the word actually means (it's not related to money, wealth or class in any way whatsoever - it means a wild state)

It's just a joke isn't it? I would describe my 12 yo's style as 'feral' - he would probably appreciate that! Refuses to get his hair cut, not keen on washing, actively seeks out the scruffiest most mismatched ill-fitting clothes... I could go on. He's 12 so I want him to find his own style but sometimes I have to step in.... His behaviour isn't feral at all though. He's very quiet and docile. I'd probably call him 'a bit feral' face to face to people to try and apologise for his appearance.. I don't post much/ever on SM tho. People who post incessantly, humble-brag about their kids etc are tedious beyond belief.

I call DD a Wildling. But only in chat between ourselves. Its because I want to live in Winterfell with Wildlings as friends.

I know someone who decamps to their upmarket harbourside second home in Cornwall with their three privately educated children each summer. She says they "go feral".

No, they just walk around barefoot and don't brush their hair.

Sounds idyllic and lovely.

Why is it idyllic to walk around barefoot and not brush your hair?

It’s irritating and pretentious I agree.

but no right thinking person would refer to a disadvantaged child as an urchin. Feral does get used, but it’s used in all sorts of contexts.

So I think you are making something out of nothing here.

Because they are relaxing after a year of city living and life at competitive private schools.

You don’t have to like the idea of that to understand the point.

When our kids were out of school we often used to joke about them being wild, purely because they had none of the constraints on them that children in school did. And as such they often were barefoot, or grubby, or muddy, and often seen running around with sticks or swimming in the sea in their pants while others were in a uniform at school.

However, they are now as uniform as all other kids their age the majority of the time.

She says they "go feral".

No, they just walk around barefoot and don't brush their hair.

Yes and that's what she means!

What is this peculiar need some people have to police the lighthearted and inoffensive language used by others in a casual context? Must we all be precisely factual about every single little thing, even when we are joking around, just in case someone finds it <gasp> irritating?!

This lady I'm talking about (mum to the "wildlings") was so against private schools until wildling no1 turned two... Suddenly the local private was the best thing ever as they spent so much time outdoors & on sports...it would be only school to suit her child... So hypocritical...

It's because in certain circle's it's seen as a badge of honour.. How down with the kids & free-spirited one is..

I’ve been guilty of calling my children feral, but I referring to being screechy, boisterous, OTT and generally being loud.

Yeah it's very weird how MC parents get away with certain styles of parenting as just being a trend but if a single mum on a council estate did the same it would be cause for social services involvement and considered neglect.

This 100%... Neglectful on a council estate... Idyllic childhood for the middle class🤔