to ask whether it would it annoy you if a man didn't spend any money on a date?

[NameChanger567]

Just that really.

I am more than happy to pay for my own food and drink on a date and I would never expect a man to pay for me.
But would you feel put off if for example you went to a bar or restaurant where you just bought your own drink/food and he didn't buy anything?

For those of you who have had this happen, do you think that the guys were expecting you to pay for something for them?

Very odd behaviour. My only reasoning is they must have been completely skint.

But yes, it would put me off.

Ew yeah I mean McDonalds would put me off for a start, but not even buying anything? He’s either incredibly broke or incredibly tight with money and both scenarios are dealbreakers for me

Enormously so. Dating isn’t a spectator sport.

....but I also think it odd that you would go to the bar and buy a drink for yourself and not offer him one. I mean, who does that when just 2 people are meeting for a drink ?
I know you'd have found out after that, that he didn't have any intention of buying you a drink, but it seems odd to me that 2 people would meet for a drink and individually buy their own drinks.

This is what I don’t understand. And, on two separate occasions

Yes that is bizarre and tells me they are either tight wad; expected you to pay for their food and drink or that they are brassic and have huge financial issues.

None of those are attractive qualities as a genuine hard up person will say let's have a picnic or meet for a coffee and just buy a coffee

If someone doesn't have £3 for a coffee they will be a nightmare!

Yep I’d be very put off by that.

I’d have been put off by offering a McDonald’s on a date. To then watch me eat and drink would make me v uncomfortable. Weird.
Either v tight or v skint.
I thought at first you meant not spending money, so like a walk or something.

Did you not ask if they wanted anything whilst you were getting yours?

Why? They’d only assume you were paying for it.

the McDonald’s thing sounded random and tbh not the best place so don’t really blame him.

the drinks thing is weird

Years ago I had a date with an online guy.
I paid because I did the inviting. He got mad.
He got mad because my hair is silver, not blonde. Said so in my bio.
He got mad because he said I was “skinny.”
Said “slender” in my bio.
I don’t think he read my bio at all - just looked at my photo.
Dumbass. And a huge wanker.

That is just so weird. I really hate eating with someone who isn’t eating too.
I feel really self conscious so I’d have been mortified with him watching me eat without as much as a drink for himself.

That’s really odd. A date spending nothing where you go for a nice walk or something is one thing but to go to somewhere lien a bar and not order anything is weird and awkward.

Both very odd. I wonder if they were expecting you to offer to buy them something?!

You lost me at McDonald's

It’s very weird and socially inept to suggest going somewhere for food/drinks and then not actually eat or drink anything. Really odd.

(I also think it’s a bit weird to suggest McDonald’s for a date, personally, but each to their own.)

You've just reminded me of a date I went on with a guy 5 ft 11 , so weird because I always believed I was 5ft 4 but definitely taller than him.. must be me eh ?

I'm a long time past dating and online dating was not a thing back then (married 19 years) so I may be really out of touch but I honestly don't understand these 'dates' where there's no plan. Literally NO plan.
How does that even happen? I can't fathom it.
A drink is suggested - surely one of you says great how about we meet at xx bar?
A coffee - the same - where will you be coming from? Ok in that case why don't we meet at XXX coffee shop which is close to the train station etc.
Would you like to go for a walk - yes XXX park / beach is lovely let's go there and there's a coffee shop / icecream place nearby

Honestly, how hard it is? Or am I utterly out of touch with how 'dates' are done these days?

I would not agree to meeting a date on the street and then awkwardly trying to decide where to go and what to do..that's a recipe for disaster imo

Anyway OP those dates sound really odd and I would not be happy with either of them.

McDonalds??? 😱

Thats very unlucky that you've had two.

If it happens again, what you need to say is "you can't really sit in an establishment and not buy anything to eat or drink so would you mind going to get yourself something please?".

I mean, it's not your job to teach them how to behave in public but maybe they were dragged up and don't know any better.

Where on earth are you meeting these guys?

Agree. This confusion wouldn't exist if explicit plans were made.

I guess it’s because walking “dates” became popular because of lock down, I can’t personally imagine meeting a stranger for a walk with no actual plan but they seem popular now 🤷‍♀️