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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moving a child away from the bottom of the slide

106 replies

amamma · 17/08/2022 14:12

I was on the playground with my DD. There was a little boy who I moved out of the way a couple of times, because he was standing at the bottom of the slide and others were coming down. I did ask him to move, but he didn't, so I gently moved him.

I also did the same to my DD a few times.

Is that OK ? I'm paranoid it's super out of line. The mum was nearby but she was sitting down chatting, so she didn't see that he could have been hurt by another child coming down. She saw me do it and didn't seem do mind. I absolutely wouldn't mind if another adult did that to my children.

Opinions ?

OP posts:
Arbesque · 17/08/2022 14:38

Yes mumsnet is very very weird about anyone touching anyone else's child. I've never come across this in real life.

Christonabike37 · 17/08/2022 14:38

I don't think you should stop using things because other people aren't supervising your kids so yeah I think the appropriate thing was to move him.
How old was he?
I'd be so annoyed at her watching me keep her kid safe though. If your kid doesn't know to move away from the bottom of the slide then bloody supervise them, don't just let other parents do it.

Flittingaboutagain · 17/08/2022 14:39

I'm afraid if a parent isn't adequately supervising then yep I'll move their kid to ensure they or mine don't get hurt.

sundayvibeswig22 · 17/08/2022 14:40

I would've moved him too.

doilookremotelyinterested · 17/08/2022 14:40

Can't you just shepherd them out of the way slightly, sort of one-handed steering, so you're moving them without committing the ultimate sin of picking them up or touching them with both hands? And obviously tell them not to stand at the bottom of the slide. Then move away and if they do it again they knocked over and learn that way.

LilianLenton · 17/08/2022 14:41

I saw a kid knocked clean off their feet once by another child coming down the slide. He bumped his head pretty hard & his mum, who'd not been paying attention, had to take him home as he was clearly hurt & couldn't stop crying.
I took DD off the playground once after seeing that, because she was trying to climb up the slide & ignoring me when I told her to get down. She's not done it again.

drpet49 · 17/08/2022 14:42

“I'd send my DD down and if she knocked the boy over, he'd soon learn not to stand in the way again.”

^Me too

FlyingSaucerss · 17/08/2022 14:42

Brefugee · 17/08/2022 14:37

I wouldn’t have moved him. In this situation I tell dd to play on something else

Oh god. Why? I would have told his mum he was in danger of being hurt. Then i would have told him to move. Then i would have stood near the end of the slide as my DD enjoyed the playground and either shielded him or moved him out of the way. It is utter batshit to prevent a child from using equipment because a kid is putting themself in danger.

To clarify for you I would have asked him to move, if he didn’t I would have told dd to play on something else, which is what happened in the op the poster asked him to move and he didn’t, I wouldn’t have touched him and in our park it’s not always clear who the parents are as loads are sitting down on their phones or talking to friends so no I wouldn’t have searched for his parents 🙄 so like if dd wanted to go on the swing and someone else was on I would tell her to play on something else till they’ve gone, hardly a big deal!! In fact reading it again the op moved him out of the way “a couple of times” I would have just directed dd to something else, can’t believe people think that’s some kind of issue! The park is full on things to play on if people won’t move we just play on something else.

ShoesShoesGloriousShoes · 17/08/2022 14:43

Absolutely fine. I've done it before. I also grabbed a little girl the other day. She was running full tilt towards the swimming pool, her mum was chasing her and wouldn't have reached her in time.

KarenOLantern · 17/08/2022 14:45

If the mum saw and didn't mind then there's your answer.

I would be grateful if another parent moved my child out of the way of danger if my attention was turned.

saleorbouy · 17/08/2022 14:46

The other scenario might be that another child comes down the slide and the boy gets knocked over or hurt.
What you did is natural, you wouldn't stand and watch an adult put themselves in danger and get injured so why would you with a child?
Don't doubt yourself and if the parent questions you just say rather you didn't want them to get hurt.

MoreTeaLessCoffee · 17/08/2022 14:48

People are so weird about touching other people's children on this site. It's not as if she picked him up and ran away! I just don't understand why anyone would have a problem with an adult guiding their child away from a hazard. I would welcome someone moving my child in this situation.

ThanksAntsThants · 17/08/2022 14:49

No, you should definitely have left him there for another child to come down the slide and take his legs out from under him. Of course you were right to move him. What is this mad world we live in nowadays where even looking sideways at somebody else’s child is out of order?

mam0918 · 17/08/2022 14:49

Thing is you dont know the child.

My DS is disabled (invisible disability) and cant be picked up by the arms/ribs (we have to scoop him up with our arm under him bum) so while hes still and normal hyper kid who doesnt let anything slow him down just running round with his siblings and other kids you could have seriously injure him picking him up wrong.

Brefugee · 17/08/2022 14:50

each to their own @FlyingSaucerss but i think you're teaching your DD to put the wishes of a boy before her own (am aware it could easily be a little girl and your DS but nonetheless)

See the thread about someone kindly holding a baby though (today in AIBU) and i am firmly convinced that in the UK in general and MN in particular have batshit ideas about children. Gentle hand to the back and firm but gentle push out of the way would be perfectly fine. As would ignoring him and letting him learn the natural consequences (and unwritten rules of the playpark) for himself.

FlyingSaucerss · 17/08/2022 14:53

Brefugee · 17/08/2022 14:50

each to their own @FlyingSaucerss but i think you're teaching your DD to put the wishes of a boy before her own (am aware it could easily be a little girl and your DS but nonetheless)

See the thread about someone kindly holding a baby though (today in AIBU) and i am firmly convinced that in the UK in general and MN in particular have batshit ideas about children. Gentle hand to the back and firm but gentle push out of the way would be perfectly fine. As would ignoring him and letting him learn the natural consequences (and unwritten rules of the playpark) for himself.

Happens all the time in the park if someone else is on something you wait or go on to something else, only on MN would it be about something completely different! I’m not physically moving a strangers child so if he wouldn’t move after asking then nothing else I’m willing to do. What if you moved him and he started screaming? Not all parents will take kindly to you moving their child and if they wasn’t watching the child could tell a very different story.

Mariposista · 17/08/2022 14:57

Ughhh another mother happily gossiping rather than correctly supervising their young child who could get hurt/cause an accident due to standing in the way on playground equipment. You did well OP and if she complains tell her to shut her mouth and start parenting (using more polite terms obviously 🤣)

Numbat2022 · 17/08/2022 14:57

Yes, it's fine. Obviously you don't go around picking up children that don't belong to you, but a quick word and hand on the back or lift out of the way to move them is fine.

I also tell off children who are being brats. I see no problem with this - kids need to learn how to behave in public. It's usually older kids behaving dangerously in a little ones' playground.

TheOrigRights · 17/08/2022 15:06

Mumofsend · 17/08/2022 14:17

I wouldn't touch other people's children. If the child gets hit it might be a bit of a valuable teaching moment for child and their adult.

You'd stand by and watch a child being hurt to teach them (and their parent) a lesson?

Goldbar · 17/08/2022 15:07

It depends. If the child looked under 3, I'd have asked the mum (nicely) to move him.

Over 3 and he can take his chances 😁! Unless there was a big size disparity between my child and another child, I'd tend just to let things play out. I wouldn't stop my child sliding but I might ask them to come down slowly because there's a little one in front...hopefully that would wake the mum up to her child being in the way!

TheOrigRights · 17/08/2022 15:12

mam0918 · 17/08/2022 14:49

Thing is you dont know the child.

My DS is disabled (invisible disability) and cant be picked up by the arms/ribs (we have to scoop him up with our arm under him bum) so while hes still and normal hyper kid who doesnt let anything slow him down just running round with his siblings and other kids you could have seriously injure him picking him up wrong.

and I presume you are closely supervising him then.

If I saw an unsupervised child about to get hurt I would move them. I guess subconsciously I'd make my own risk assessment : chances of toddler getting hurt by incoming child down slide = 97% vs chances of causing serious injury to toddler due to invisible disability = vanishingly small (thankfully).

mam0918 - are you suggesting people shouldn't move a child in danger?

Brefugee · 17/08/2022 15:13

Happens all the time in the park if someone else is on something you wait or go on to something else, only on MN would it be about something completely different!

he's not on the equipment. He is standing around in the way

Rosehugger · 17/08/2022 15:16

mam0918 · 17/08/2022 14:49

Thing is you dont know the child.

My DS is disabled (invisible disability) and cant be picked up by the arms/ribs (we have to scoop him up with our arm under him bum) so while hes still and normal hyper kid who doesnt let anything slow him down just running round with his siblings and other kids you could have seriously injure him picking him up wrong.

But I guess you'd be supervising him properly and making sure he wasn't obstructing the bottom of a slide, as it would presumably also hurt him a good deal if another child slid down and took his legs out from under him.

KettrickenSmiled · 17/08/2022 15:16

mam0918 · 17/08/2022 14:49

Thing is you dont know the child.

My DS is disabled (invisible disability) and cant be picked up by the arms/ribs (we have to scoop him up with our arm under him bum) so while hes still and normal hyper kid who doesnt let anything slow him down just running round with his siblings and other kids you could have seriously injure him picking him up wrong.

Then I imagine you don't allow yourself to get distracted enough to not notice he's about to get swept off his feet by another kid coming down the slide. @mam0918 ?

Lucienandjean · 17/08/2022 15:18

What you did was fine. A gentle hand on the back to move him along - anyone who objects to that should be supervising their child so closely that no one would ever need to help them avoid getting hurt.

It takes a village to raise a child.