August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

The issue is quite frankly 13-year-olds will try and shag anything that moves at school

What school did you go to???

Don't think your daughter missed out on a medal just because Lucy was held back a year, she probably missed out because Lucy is a faster runner and it's nothing to do with the year group she's in

My dd (going into year 3) is the oldest in her year missed being year above by 1 day, her best friend is nearly a whole year younger despite being in the same year group. My dd best friend is a good runner and won the sports day race and my dd who is the oldest isn't a fast runner and can second to last, but my dd is academic to the point that she was given a fully funded space at a private school starting year 1, nothing to do with being the oldest or the youngest some kids are better at different things

Surely whatever sexualised behaviour you are worried about also isn't om against 12 year olds either tho so it's the behaviour not the age you need to be tackling.

But even if she's August 1st, her peers may only be a month younger. So she can't drink with Jenny until Jenny's birthday in September. My friend was Sept 2nd, she was three months younger then me in late Dec but no one felt sorry for her for having driving lessons or beer three months before me

Those policies will change the first time they’re properly challenged.

schools aren’t allowed to have a default policy of no complete deferral anymore.

There is a big development jump in this age group. What is appropriate for a 13 year old isn't for an 11 year old and posters are being disingenuous if they say otherwise. I didn't post the 'shagging' post but sexual development does progress naturally as does maturity, sense of humour etc.

I get that a 16 Yr old could be in a class with someone who's 16 months younger and being sexually inappropriate, but surely this still isn't OK if their peers they're abusing are 12 months younger? There's literally 51 weeks between my school best friends. If the older one is doing something wrong to the younger one, why is this accepted but if there was four months younger it wouldn't?

You have absolutely no idea why Lucy stayed down a year; obviously her parents and teachers have protected her privacy.

But the jump isnt sudden on birthdays. If the 13 year old is being inappropriate to someone who is 13-2+16 months younger, it also isn't appropriate for someone who is 12 months younger as in a typical class. So unless we run classes in groups of say quarter ages, even ignoring the variation in maturity, you are having kids with a potentially large gap between them anyway

The year cut off isn't ideal, but to keep pushing it just creates other issues imo.
Whilst growing a year is a big difference, 17 months even more so. Its not about what is inappropriate, because that always would be, it is what is appropriate for the age.

There's still a potential downside for Lucy's family - when she's 18 she may still have a year of study to go, but as an adult could choose to leave regardless. This is what we were warned about when requesting a later start for DC with SEN and it's yet another worry to add to the list for the future.

Like many others I'd suggest focusing on preparing your daughter for a life that isn't always 'fair' in the way that you mean and ignoring your perception of Lucy taking something she isn't entitled to.

I think the posts about shagging teenagers was just a badly worded way of saying that the developmental difference of a 17 months or so age gap can be significant at later points in these children’s lives and that it might be very shortsighted to keep them back at age 4 without properly thinking through the implications of their peer group right through their education. A gap of almost 1.5 years at 11 and 13 is pretty big, more so than when they’re say 6 and 8.

This perceived issue with a wide spread of ages in a class just is not a thing. My eldest started school at 5.5 (1st March 2005 birthday) with children born January 2005 to end of February 2006.

Some are older. Some are younger. Some have been 17 since the start of the year and have passed their driving tests, others won't even start until the New Year. Some will be 18 just after Christmas and will be at school for 6 months as an "adult". All of these "problems" and issues, and complications which posters are saying are huge issues with a big age spread just aren't.

We have been doing this in Scotland FOR DECADES.

But children born April/May/June won't be deferred just as the Sep/Oct/Nov children in Scotland aren't deferred. It's just the ones in the two youngest months in 99% of cases.

Seriously people, this is such a non-issue you are working yourselves into a froth over.

Perhaps it can’t be easily seen at an individual class level but In the same way that tutoring for the individual child isn’t really affecting anyone else except that it massively is. The child
is further on in their education than they would have been at this stage compared to their cohort all other things being equal. And access to this opportunity is not equal.

My dd is an mid august birthday, she has left school now, but looking back I wish I had kept her back a year. I wrongly thought her friend group from preschool was important, it was but nowhere near age related education, my dd struggled all through school, and unfortunately as she found everything so hard she adopted the mindset that she was the thick one, not helped by teachers always blaming everything on an august birthday, so she wrongly developed the mindset of not trying as i can’t change my birthday. She’s now finished education and is happily doing something she loves so long term didn’t hold her back but certainly didn’t make it easy for her while she was in education

Maybe primary schools should revert back to the 'rising five' policy of the 1950s whereby children started school the term before their 5th birthday. By the time I started school in the 60s, there were two intakes - September & Easter. Of course, there wasn't a National Curriculum but each child worked at their own pace. From Reception you would be filtered into the equivalent of Y1/Y2 and depending on your ability placed with children working at the same pace.
The Eleven Plus was barely mentioned and tutoring unheard of. It was a continuation of the same type of work you did everyday in school although we must have been unknowingly monitored as we were split into two classes for the final two years. One class expected to pass or be in the 'A' stream at secondary. The other class continued to work at a pace suitable for them. We did sports, crafts etc. all together.
We only had homework in the last year and that was always a 20 question general knowledge quiz. No internet in those days😀

YABU.

My August born DS dropped down a year from year 11 to repeat year 10. I wish I'd done it sooner. It was the absolute making of him.

Of to RTFT now.

In the long term there can be some disadvantages to deferring, albeit small ones. E.g if deferred child gets into ny sort of competitive sport then that is done by birth year so if they want to play county netball they will have to compete against people in the year above. Plus hitting puberty ealier than most could be embarrassing. That's why you make the choice for your own child

Dd is a late August girl. I just felt slightly smug when she was at the expected standard for a 5yo when she still only 4.

I'm now more concerned that she won't get the chance to do her duke of Edinburgh award expedition with her peers in y9 because she will still only be 13 when they do the assessments. But that is my only concern. It really is a first world problem for her.

Wish I could have deferred my late August born. We weren't allowed to despite her having speech delays and autism.

She would fit so much better in the year below.

Lucys mum made a decision to suit her needs. You have no idea if the child has any special needs, one of mine does but I don't tell other parents. She has to do what is right for her own child not others. She should also not have to avoid her choice of party to suit you.

I haven't rtft, but I wish that my late August born ds could have been kept back a year. When I asked about it when he first started school, we were told that it was absolutely out of the question and rules are rules. He would have been far better off in the year below, as he has SEN and developmental delays. He's starting secondary school this year in a SEN unit.

Just for my own interest and in case anyone knows, entrance tests used for grammar schools and private schools use standardised scores so those who are the eldest in the year group have to score more to gain the same standardised score as a child who is younger - this was done to acknowledge the advantage autumn born children had compared to summer born. By moving a child down an academic year, do they then sit the year group test for children who are younger? Would this mean they have to score very, very high raw scores if they moved down a year as they are the eldest in their new groups?

Another issue I have heard mentioned is the impact on sport, particularly competitive team sports like rugby. At one point it caused lots of issues as they were not allowed to play with their deferred age group team as the rules were very strict so as to avoid physical injury if children were much more developed. Has this all now been sorted? I think someone mentioned it earlier in the thread.

Hmm my birthday is 27 august, in general I was behind my peers at school (accept for in sport), I wouldn't say it's made a massive difference to me as an adult but who knows, maybe if my parents had held me back a year I'd be Einstein now! Saying they though, someone has to be the youngest