To be at the end of my tether with him?

[Auldgregg]

I have a 22 YO DS
He had severe anxiety and OCD. He never managed to complete his GCSEs and has never worked due to anxiety and a couple of overdose attempts whenever I encouraged him to live his life and find a job.
Its got to the stage now with increasing bills where I can no longer afford to support him.
I get £1650 pcm and bills are:
£800 mortgage
£150 council tax
£180 gas and electric (due to increase)
£45 water
£40 life insurance and critical illness cover
£9 mobile phone
£14 tv licence
£12 netflix
£45 broadband
£150 fuel to work and car insurance
£30 buildings and contents insurance
Leaving under £45 a week for food and anything extra like clothing or toiletries.

Jobs closer to home are paid much less so changing my job isn’t viable.

I’ve explained I can’t continue like this when the energy prices rocket and he said I chose to have kids and that he’s ill and I should take care of him!

I said he’d have to get a job or move out (he refused to sign on) and he threatened to kill himself again. We argued, I said he’s not manipulating me any more and he shrugged and said well, I can’t cope with work so…and walked off.

I don’t know what to do.

Could you turn off the WiFi til he agrees to do an application?

You cant punish someone for having mental health problems, ( apertaining to this thread) it isnt their fault, autism, depression, anxiety, millions of manifestations and variations. You have to work with them, support them. Seriously the amount of people looking at it as disobedience or naughty behaviour, do you actually have any idea on mental health issues.

OP, this sounds so sad and it's impossible for us to determine whether he's really incapable due to MH issues or he's just become comfortable with his lifestyle and knows that all he has to do is throw a tantrum to maintain the status quo.

But looking at your budget, could you stop Netflix / TV / broadband in the name of saving money which might either spur him on to leaving the house out of boredom, or confirm that it's actually that his MH makes it impossible for him? The money saved could help make your point perhaps more clearly when he sees the consequences.

He must be very frightened to leave his comfort zone -- sending much sympathy.

Unrelated but how is your Netflix only £12 I just cancelled mine as it's gone up to £16!! Think it was £6 when we first signed up!

Tell him that he has to make some steps towards helping or you'll have to sell the house and downsize. I understand he is ill but you will become ill if this continues and you matter too. Mental illness is awful but if he doesn't shift himself in some way this is his and your life forever.