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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have another baby - climate crisis

51 replies

MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 13:39

We're about to start trying for a second baby, but I keep reading the news and there is so much going on. With climate crisis and war, and wages and cost of living, I cannot guarantee the world I'm bringing kids into. I don't have any regrets about dd1, but really wondering if we should do it again ...
What if the climate crisis means they'll have a really shit life?

YABU - have another baby if you want to
YANBU - it is unethical and stoking the fire and a bad situation to bring an innocent life into

OP posts:
Whattodoaboutworknow · 16/08/2022 13:41

Have the baby, what if they have a great life, what if they make a difference??

If you really want a baby and can give one a great life based on todays facts and not the future then do it 😊.

Rowen32 · 16/08/2022 13:57

Have your baby.. I don't think you can think like that. I do sometimes but it's not helpful at all..
I know people will say plagues/wars are different to climate change but what if everybody had said after World War 2 let's have no more children, we wouldn't be here!
I hope and I pray and I do my best for the environment and thats really all I can do, we have to live our lives xx

Mumspair1 · 16/08/2022 14:04

You not having your one baby isn't going to make a dent in the climate crisis. It really won't. You already have a dd so it's a bit late to worry about it. I would go ahead if it's what you want.

Phrenologistsfinger · 16/08/2022 14:13

Raise both kids to live in a sustainable way, to care for the natural world and teach them how to grow their own food and other skills to survive if society breaks down during their/our lifetimes (not unlikely) - also useful skills to have even if they don’t ever need them. The world needs the thoughtful people to continue to have kids…

Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:14

Thank you... Good to get perspective
@Mumspair1 I know my one won't have an impact - it's coming regardless of literally any action I can take, that's sort of my point. It's how their life will be impacted by the climate, not how they will impact it

OP posts:
Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:16

@Phrenologistsfinger that's a really nice approach and way of looking at it.
... Does it frighten you to think tho that it's not unlikely that society might break down in their lifetime? Makes me panic! 😬

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 16/08/2022 14:20

What if the climate crisis means they'll have a really shit life?
Well, you make the climate crisis your priority: in everything you do and how you approach living as a family. Like, to save the planet the best thing would be for humans to die out – problem solved – but I don’t think most of us want that; we want to save the planet for ourselves. And who are we really saving it for? Future generations.

So then it’s a case of doing what you can to ensure your kids are ok in the context of a very changed world, building resilience, and living as sustainably as possible. No action you personally do is going to save the planet and guarantee a nice life for your kids – lots of global warming is already baked in, the world has changed, they won’t see a temperature UK climate – but you can give them the gift of knowing how to live sustainably, knowing how to cook, forage, garden, reduce, reuse, recycle, be happy with less, love nature, be frugal because life is just getting more expensive, etc.

CalistoNoSolo · 16/08/2022 14:22

I've got one, a teenager now, and I worry a lot about the world she will be living in in another 10 or 20 years. If I was the same age now as when I had DD I wouldn't have a baby. Climate change is going to really start to bite in the next 20 years and it's not going to be pretty.

Dotjones · 16/08/2022 14:31

YANBU. It's good that people are actually considering the moral implications of bringing a child into the world. It's a pity it takes the threat of catastrophe to make people think but to be fair that's human nature, some people used to worry about bringing kids into a world with thermonuclear weapons.

When you think about it, ignoring the biological need to continue the species, nobody has the right to bring life into the world - certainly no more than someone has the right to take a life. By bringing a child into the world you are condemning them to the pain and suffering - and death - that we all experience.

It's the sort of thing that everyone usually ignores, because we "need" to continue our species, but logically, creating a life is as despicable as ending one.

Hillarious · 16/08/2022 14:31

I have three children, and eight close friends who don't have any. My children will be working to provide for their pensions and welfare. Someone will need to. We aim to live in a sustainable way in the meantime. The best thing I ever did for my children was to give them siblings.

Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:33

@Hillarious very interesting perspective. I totally agree about siblings. I feel like dd1 is for me, but a big part of having a second is because it's nice to have siblings

OP posts:
Kindofcrunchy · 16/08/2022 14:33

OP im pregnant with number two and feel pretty anxious about the future too. None of my friends have children yet and I don't think many of them will because of climate uncertainty. But we (as in my husband and I) already do what we can to contribute to the environment; don't take flights often, use reusable nappies, recycle everything, follow a vegan diet etc. So we feel like a second child is justified for us, almost. Just raise your children to be conscientious, that's all you can do.

Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:34

@Dotjones do you have kids? I used to think a lot like this when I was a teenager and was so angry about having been brought into the world, so what you say really resonates with me

OP posts:
Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:36

@Kindofcrunchy I don't have any friends that haven't because of the climate, so it's interesting to know that there are lots of people out there also thinking it.

OP posts:
Hillarious · 16/08/2022 14:36

MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:33

@Hillarious very interesting perspective. I totally agree about siblings. I feel like dd1 is for me, but a big part of having a second is because it's nice to have siblings

They're there for each other. When the youngest had a bit of a wobbly at university, it was his brother and sister he turned to and who provided much better support and encouragement that I could, because they understood better what he was going through.

Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:37

@stuntbubbles it's a lot to be teaching my kids and a lot to be living up to all the time. I think it's so important, and really demonstrates additional ways that having kids is such a big responsibility and that probably I haven't really thought the one I've got all the way through!

OP posts:
gnilliwdog · 16/08/2022 14:38

I wouldn't plan to bring a child into the world right now. Climate change, drought, economic crisis, nuclear war are all more likely than before. Sorry, but I would honestly wait to see if things improve. You don't want to bring a child into a world with no future.

Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:38

@Hillarious that's really lovely. You've obviously raised really kind kids

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 16/08/2022 14:39

I wouldn't worry too much about another child adding to the climate crisis because I believe the crisis has gone too far to come back from now. So any concerns I would have around a second baby are what quality of life will they have with rising temperatures, food shortages etc.

Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:39

@gnilliwdog I don't know that we have time to wait though. Given our ages, it's sort of soon or probably not. I'm also really bad with uncertainty, I like to plan and crack on with plan. Never been one for waiting!

OP posts:
Original poster
MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:40

@Babyroobs that's exactly my thinking... So... What would you do? Baby or no baby?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 16/08/2022 14:43

MarmaRell78 · 16/08/2022 14:40

@Babyroobs that's exactly my thinking... So... What would you do? Baby or no baby?

No baby. Easy for me to say that though as mine are now in their twenties and teens. I really feel for the younger generation today though having to make these choices. I would not encourage my kids to have kids. A lot of my friends/ colleagues are all so excited about becoming grandparents but I ca't feel the same, maybe I am just a doom-monger !

chatterbug22 · 16/08/2022 14:45

@Babyroobs lots of people are saying this.

I feel sad because we’re early 20s and likely a year or two off trying for a baby but honestly the state of the country & world right now is horrific, tbh. Makes me sad and have no idea what to do for the best.

33goingon64 · 16/08/2022 14:46

I think our DC generation will genuinely have a moral struggle with whether to procreate. I worry that theirs will be the first generation to feel the effects of climate change on their every day lives. Plus I genuinely feel that politically and socially we reached the apex of tolerance in the last decade and now we're nosediving in the wrong direction, fast. I've had my DC now but would understand if they decided not to have DC themselves.

Astrabees · 16/08/2022 14:46

I have two sons, it is a huge part of my joy at being a parent that we all have each other, and that even in their 20's they are close and enjoy doing things together. I was a teenager in the 70's when the future also looked grim, but as individuals we can enjoy our lives. I don't expect my sons to look after me in old age but the dimension of the relationship is so much rounder with both of them in it.