How to allocate rooms ?

[Notsure838]

Hello, this is my first post apologise if I do this wrong please don’t hesitate to tell me and how to amend ! I wondered if I could have some advice on bedrooms and blended families. I have 3 children from a previous marriage as does my husband but now both sets of children live full time with us, we are struggling on how to determine who shares with who and I awould appreciate an outsiders perspective. Their ages are ( sorry of abbreviations are incorrect)

DS4
DD7
DS9

DSD4
DSS6
DDD10

thanks in advance

Gotta love the fact that so many people on this thread think they know better than a psychologist who has met these children and advised this is going to be good for them.

The arrogance you must have to think you know better than a trained professional who knows these children and details of their situation 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I think all girls together in one. All boys in other. Spare room on rotation for any child that needs space or sleepover with their friends.

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson I don’t think people are being arrogant about knowing better than a psychologist. I find it hard to believe that one has had the time to sit with 6 children, 3 of whom have been subject to abuse, assess their interactions with each other and parent/stepparent individually and together and in combination and recommend they all move into a house where there is no plan of who shares what bedroom. There may be a professional out there who does say, yes move all these unrelated children into a house that’s too small but I’d be reporting them to their registering body.

All 3 boys share the biggest room.

The 10 year old on her own, in the smallest room, as she will need more privacy than the others.

The younger 2 girls share the final room.

This!

School is not home though is it?

I’d have the two four year olds together, especially as they are so friendly to each other

Then, if the two girls get on and the two boys get on I’d have them together. Otherwise keep siblings together.

You've only been together for 2 years

Don't mix your kids with his. That's just wrong.

Why all this nonsense about not being able to put sons in the same room with daughters
Are you all scared that your sons are rapists or something Jezus

They are so young. They can share a room with ther sibling.

'Good luck ' moving into the house with your blanded families op.
..

So you have 3 children from a previous marriage age 9,6 and 4 none of whom have ever met their father.How does that work?

I'd go

Smallest room 1 - 4 year olds
Room 2 - your older 2 with dividers
Room 3 - his older 2 with dividers.

This is because the sibling of the autistic child will already be aware of traits of their own sibling and imo it will be a quicker settling period. If all siblings are sharing atm this should work. Maybe high sleeper beds so they have space underneath or bunk beds and a corner of the room each? Once the rooms are allocated ask the children what they think about dividers/ beds etc.

For me it makes sense to keep older sins together as they know each other more and it won't be as much as a change sharing with a child they don't currently live with.

The 4 year olds if getting on and sharing a room is great.

I think a playroom (using a bedroom) could get too crowded with 6 and they'll be other areas of the house anyway so they're better off having a bedroom with just 1 other for peace.

Sounds like you've really thought this through op well done.

So many people don't put half the thought into changes like this and get on fine so I'm sure all will be a success it sounds like you all deserve it.

Smallest room 1 - 4 year olds
Room 2 - your older 2 with dividers
Room 3 - his older 2 with dividers.

I'd go with this initially but make sure the rooms are gender neutral so they can easily be swapped around in 12-18 months. When it might be better for the two girls to share, and the two boys.

I know this is counter-intuitive, but would there be any merit in taking out one or more of the en suites to create seperate sleeping space? I'm thinking particularly for DSS6 who needs a quiet space to unwind, and also the daughter who isn't far off teens. I know they'd have to access it through another sibling's room, but that seems a better use of space than having multiple en suites?

I think I’d start by putting the children together in their family groups for a few weeks then make a switch when everyone is settled more. This is a lot of change for them. The suggestions of the 2 4 yos then the two same sex older non related children together sounds sensible and perhaps a longer term goal.

DS4
DD7

DS9
DSS6

DSD4
DDD10

I wouldn't want unrelated children of the opposite sex together over nappy and cot age.

Agree re the psychologist. Highly unlikely the actual living arrangements have been delved into. More along the lines of whether step siblings and step mother would generally be good for the husband's 3 kids.