To ask your best parenting tips

[Guru30]

Anything you have picked up on along the way, hacks etc to make life easier with young kids?

You can book clarks appointments in advance. Great for summer hols school shop.

Absolutely agree with the picking your priorities and sticking to them. Eg our eldest has always been a terrible sleeper so our family rule is that children have to be in their room and quiet after a certain time but what time they go to sleep is basically up to them. Our middle one is a great sleeper so we 'put' her to bed (she's 12 so not much putting really needed) between 7:30 and 8:30 (hobby schedule dependant) and she'll read for a bit but is always asleep within about 15 minutes. The eldest is in his room from 9 but what he does is up to him, we often hear him still pottering about when we go to bed because he just needs less sleep.

Always have a snack and some water with you even if you're just popping out for half an hour.

Never get into a Mexican stand off with a toddler, their staying power is considerably greater than yours.

If you lose your shit, own it, apologise and move on. Same with them. Never hold a grudge or bring it up once the apology has been given.

As others have said always offer toddlers choices but make sure they lead where you want to end up. "Do you want to scoot or go in the stroller to the shop?"
"Red or blue trousers today?" etc. Toddlers really want to feel in control so this is a great way to do it. Equally if they have their heart set on something go with it if it's not dangerous or totally inappropriate - my son wore a tutu and wellies every day for months when he was 2. It ultimately made no difference to us and the only rule was that he had to wear suitable outdoor clothing.

Never compare yourself to other parents or your children to theirs. The perfect parents who have beautifully behaved great sleepers and eaters are either lying or lucky.

My dads advice-don’t give them the spoon too early
passed on from my granddad who DID give pfb the spoon as soon as he could hold it and lost the battle over holding the spoon while feeding

a nanny told me to give them two bread crusts-one in each hand-they won’t let those go and you can shovel food in while they are clutching their bread

After a Shitty day,mentally Chuck it in the fuck it bucket
tomorrow is another day

always say goodbye if your going
mine used to scream but it was better than melting away behind their backs
they where always fine after two minutes

i have 6 kids and mornings where stressful to say the least
i used to make up a ‘breakfast pack lunch’ (plastic boxes with easy foods like yogurt/a cereal bar/fruit)
all named,so the bigger ones could eat breakfast while I was getting the others ready
clothes all laid out in their piles and book bags/lunches all ready on the side
took ten minutes at night but saved so much stress in the morning

Came to say this!

All feelings are valid. Validate, validate, validate. Get on their level and verbalise what it seems like might be going on. 'You seem upset because you couldn't have another ice cream, is that right?' In the moment isn't the time to try and correct behaviour, right after the meltdown is. In the moment is time for support and love and showing them that regardless of how big their emotions are you can handle it, you're not fazed and you love them unconditionally.

After, talk about what happened and what might be a better response next time/what wasn't acceptable behaviour.

Remember as crappy as it is for you to have a toddler rolling around on the floor sobbing it's just as hard, if not moreso, for them. The biggest part of parenting is learning to regulate your own emotions and not let every tantrum lead to anger on the parents' side and inflamed emotions on the toddler's side and so forth.

Don't dismiss them. If something is upsetting to them then it matters, and it might be a huge deal to them. As an adult you might not think green cup versus blue cup is a big deal but they don't have the experience and skills that you have. It IS a big deal for them. Never put them down, dismiss them, humiliate them or tell them they're being ridiculous.

Toddlers especially (but all kids) Are doing the best they can with the tools they possess. You can defuse so many situations by just showing them you're on their side and making the effort to understand what they're going through.

Lead by example, if you want them to be well mannered or helpful or whatever then you will need to be to.

Give them choices, blue cup or red cup? X outfit or y. Helps them feel they have some control and avoids tantrums.

No empty threats. They'll never listen to you again.

Accept than just when you're figuring everything out they'll change and move onto the next stage and what worked yesterday won't work tomorrow 🤷‍♀️

Don't stock up too much on food your toddler absolutely loves. They are fickle creatures.
I say this as I eat a slightly out of date fromage frais the toddler used to eat every day but then suddenly rejected.

Lower your expectations

If 2/7 nights are good nights sleep you’re winning.

If 1/3 meals are eaten without complaints and they’ve taken in more healthy food than snacks that day, you’re winning

If 2/10 days out don’t involve a major meltdown, nappy explosion, moaning, fighting, whinging and you all have a fab time and come home happy and healthy, you’re winning

I’m not saying don’t be ambitious or strive for the best times possible, the best sleep, the most nutritious meals - strive for it but be content that you will likely fall short. And that’s fine. We’re all doing our best!!!

Stay off social media - don't get hung up on what other people's kids can do tat yours can't and what fab days out other people's families seem to have at the weekends etc etc.

Comparison really is the thief of joy, just enjoy what you have.