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Original poster

Sign up for a gym without asking partner

62 replies

fifteenohfour · 15/08/2022 13:51

So I have once before signed up for a gym, that was a CONTRACT. I was walking passed a gym a fit fella walked out and offered me a deal, It sounded good, so I joined (anytime fitness) it was a contract for 12 months £28 a month and I never went. At the time my wife and I were so skint and it was a complete waste of money and my wife was fuming (rightly so) everytime the money came out. And to this day she still brings it up and how I can't be trusted with money.

Fast forward 4 years and we are much much better off financially and I now have about £100 disposable income after mortgage and bills everything comes out. A new gym is opening up near me with a NO CONTRACT cancel anytime offer of £15 a month for the first 6 months then £30 there after, still no contract after 6 months.

I have been taking saxenda and really seeing a lot of weight loss, I want to increase it by getting fitter through the gym and doing the classes and using walking machines etc .

I asked my wife and she flat out said no, it's another one of my 'new diet new me' promises and that it's a waste of money I'll use it for a week and then stop. She said that she doesn't care if it's no contract she doesn't trust me, and any "disposable income" needs to go in savings.

I feel like joining anyway. It's no contract and I can prove her wrong! I can make the most of it lose weight and then cancel in 6 months when the £15 offer runs out.

What would you? Ignore and join or respect the no decision due to your past behaviour.

OP posts:
Nekomata · 15/08/2022 13:56

You’re not a child. You can spend your disposable income as you like.

Cloverforever · 15/08/2022 14:09

Nekomata · 15/08/2022 13:56

You’re not a child. You can spend your disposable income as you like.

Is it solely your disposable income, or your wife's as well? Is this after Xmas, holiday, savings in case of boiler blowing up etc etc etc?

AllFreeOwls · 15/08/2022 14:11

Is it your disposable income or is it joint? Do you have a history of flash in the pan projects?

luxxlisbon · 15/08/2022 14:12

I mean if you guys have literally £100 after your mortgage and bills then she is right and it’s stupid to use that to join a gym when you don’t even work out at the minute. That barely counts as ‘disposable’ income.
Go for tuna instead and join a gym when you start exercising consistently and you have a bit more money.

drpet49 · 15/08/2022 14:13

Your wife sounds controlling. Join the gym.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/08/2022 14:14

Aside from the fact that your wife sounds like a bit of a bitch, how are finances worked? If you both combine every penny then is the 100 disposable shared?

Divebar2021 · 15/08/2022 14:14

I wouldn’t be in the position where another person could dictate my spending in this way. Do you not have access to money of your own? Unless you are absolutely on the bones on your arse I would join up. The caveat is that in doing so you are not denying your wife the opportunity to spend a similar amount each month and that there is no major deprivation as a result of that expenditure.

Crunchymum · 15/08/2022 14:15

I was walking passed a gym a fit fella walked out and offered me a deal

What odd language

Divebar2021 · 15/08/2022 14:16

£100 disposable does not seem to be a good position to be in financially so I would hold off.

IggityZiggity · 15/08/2022 14:17

Does your wife work? Do you have kids? If she works and spends the equivalent on herself but she is saying you can't join a gym, then obviously that is unfair. If she stays at home with the kids and doesn't work and you are scraping by each month and she never gets anything nice herself then that is completely different.

GlitteryGreen · 15/08/2022 14:18

I don't think your wife should necessarily be able to dictate to you like this depending on circumstances, BUT £100 disposable income a month is not a lot so I wouldn't be wanting any regular subscriptions coming out of that.

£85 a month is not a lot left to be able to do much together, if that's what she's thinking.

NewYorkLassie · 15/08/2022 14:20

If you literally only have £100 disposable income after bills I would not be spending it on a gym. Just start running.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/08/2022 14:23

Tell DW everyone deserves a second chance or alternatively bring every single penny DW has wasted over the years.

Unless of course she is perfect.

You're not a child, you can cancel anytime, I wouldn't have my partner micromanaging me like that because you wasted cash 4 years ago.

Topgub · 15/08/2022 14:24

Too many factors really

But ultimately I wouldnt be ok with my oh controlling how I spent my money

But im not a dick with money

EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/08/2022 14:26

Can you confirm if the 100 is your personal disposal income and not split between two?
I suspect it is yours?

BarbaraofSeville · 15/08/2022 14:26

If the £100 is your personal spending money after all bills, savings, emergency fund etc is covered then it's your choice what you do with it and your wife can't ban you from spending some of it on gym membership.

However, if the £100 is joint money and you aren't saving for irregular expenses or have money for days out together then she probably has a point.

Original poster
fifteenohfour · 15/08/2022 14:31

So to update the post that £100 is mine we also both save £300 each for emergency expenses and savings, we have a pretty nice savings pot but also need a lot of stuff doing to the house non urgent, but still need doing.

my wife is controlling with money because of things like me joining gym memberships, using Klarna etc instead of saving.

even though it's my £100 she would rather it go to savings than join a gym as she believes it's wasted money.

I kind of want to prove her wrong and this no contract offer is a "safe" way to do it?

OP posts:
SunnyKlara · 15/08/2022 14:31

Do you do any exercise at present? Do you enjoy working out? If not, what is it about the gym that makes you think you will go?

Only £100 disposable income would make me feel a bit concerned coming up to winter, unless you mean that's your budgeted "fun money" after savings and rainy day fund is allocated.

If you don't currently exercise, then why not try free stuff first to build up a habit? It often takes a few times of dalling of the bandwagon before it sticks and I'd rather do that with free stuff. Couch to 5k for cardio and free videos on you tube for yoga / strength workouts etc?

Original poster
fifteenohfour · 15/08/2022 14:33

@SunnyKlara no I don't exercise at the moment, so I do understand that it seems ridiculous I will just spontaneously start at the gym. But also...yeah that's what I want to do! Got to a Zumba or something

OP posts:
Pr1mr0se · 15/08/2022 14:33

If it was me I've just make sure I proved her wrong and regularly attended the gym if you have already signed up. Make sure any left over funds do go into savings though.

Original poster
fifteenohfour · 15/08/2022 14:36

@EmeraldShamrock1 thanks, i have pointed out that she buys lunch every day at work and that is way more each month than this membership. I wfh and so my food purchases are much less. Even less since I've been on saxenda.

I do agree that it's a safe option as I can cancel without fees. The fact I've read the terms and conditions should be proof that I learnt my lesson. Anytime fitness saw me coming from a mile away and I was a dickhead to even sign up.

OP posts:
DisappearingHelen · 15/08/2022 14:39

Perhaps a compromise would be for you to start with free exercise. Walking/running/online exercise classes etc. you then need to address finances separately as clearly your wife has issues with you spending money on the gym and you have an issue with her spending on lunches!

Original poster
fifteenohfour · 15/08/2022 14:40

@NewYorkLassie some days I do just want to start running as I used to do long distance really well, but im obese right now and it seems so far away the ability to run for any length of time. One day I will be able to run again for fitness but I wanted to use the gym fo get my weight down a bit then carry on myself.

But I also make ALOT of plans like this. Start things and don't finish.

I'm trying to figure out if my wife is being unreasonable or I need to just stand my ground and do it regardless.

OP posts:
UnaOfStormhold · 15/08/2022 14:40

If you have joint finances then decisions about how you spend money should be joint, particularly if funds are tight.

If, and it's a big if, it's affordable for you and you have suitable reserves, it becomes a question of whether you'll stock to it. Here you could make it work for both of you by devising a low cost non-gym exercise programme (you could do couch to 5k or fitness blender free no equipment workouts) and set yourself a target of minimum weekly activity over say 3 months. And you could agree with your partner that if you complete it, and if it's still affordable within your budget, you can get the membership. Having a challenge like that could help you get into a regular fitness habit as well as proving your commitment to a understandably sceptical partner - and you may find what you can do for free is more than enough!

SunnyKlara · 15/08/2022 14:42

Loads of Zumba stuff on youtube. Perhaps start with doing these regularly and then prove to your wife that it's something you're going to stick with?

Have you looked at the gym calendar and worked out which classes you would go to? Does it work out as a reasonable cost per class?