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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that alcohol is a rubbish present

109 replies

Newusername3kidss · 15/08/2022 13:49

Just had a big birthday celebration- hosted a party with catering and drinks and entertainment. Everyone had an amazing time. I’m genuinely not bothered by gifts and am just happy that people have come to celebrate with us but as it was a big birthday, everyone brought gifts. Which is lovely. But 80% of the gifts were bottles of champagne and gin. I drink neither of these. These are friends who have known me for many many years so can’t understand why they went for overpriced bottles of booze which I won’t touch and will just end up giving away. I’ve made such an effort with friends birthdays recently and chosen sentimental gifts they can keep but also included gift receipts with them. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I’m currently trying to find space in the cupboard for 15 bottles of champagne and 8 bottles of gin (I worked out they are worth about £600). AIBU ?? I’m not a massive drinker and happen to dislike both these drinks but would other people have been thrilled?

OP posts:
PollyRockets · 15/08/2022 13:50

YANBU

If they know you don't drink champagne or gin it's a thoughtless present, not just a shit one

At least you can regift them?

mast0650 · 15/08/2022 13:51

It can be a very good present, if thoughtfully chosen to suit the recipient's tastes. But for you it is clearly not and it is a shame people didn't realise. A bottle of champagne for a big birthday is the default lazy (but not cheap) present I'm afraid.

Nekomata · 15/08/2022 13:52

I think it’s hard to buy for adults, but people don’t want to turn up empty-handed.

womaninatightspot · 15/08/2022 13:52

I’d of been happy but I drink both. It’s hard to but champagne for yourself as it feels frivolous. Just stick them in a cupboard and regift.

Whattodoaboutworknow · 15/08/2022 13:53

YANBU - it’s a crap present unless you know someone loves a certain type or can’t afford to buy much of it themselves, so it’s then a treat.

E.G An expensive spirit, fancy bottle of wine or a new version of something you know they like to try like a gin or beer.

Nekomata · 15/08/2022 13:53

I was also going to suggest re-gifting at Christmas time.

SallyWD · 15/08/2022 13:53

I love to receive an expensive bottle of drink that I wouldn't usually buy for myself. However if you don't like it it it's not a good gift! Are you sure they've noticed you don't like these drinks?

Treabrea · 15/08/2022 13:54

Well I love (most) booze so I'd be happy. Otherwise just regift, at least you'll save yourself some money over the next few months.

badgerstink · 15/08/2022 13:54

My OH once bought me a bottle of champagne for a birthday present. Just the once. To me it's something you'd buy someone you really don't know very well.

By all means bring a bottle to a party but a gift to a close friend should be personal else it feels insincere

DancingBeanstalk · 15/08/2022 13:54

YANBU. It’s thoughtless and lazy even if you drank alcohol.

TheRaindanceWorked · 15/08/2022 13:54

You don't really drink so its a rubbish present for you, but I'd be very happy to receive champagne and gin. Each to their own.

megletthesecond · 15/08/2022 13:55

Yanbu. It shouldn't be normalised as a gift.

Inthe90sitwas · 15/08/2022 13:56

Yanbu. I think it must be clever marketing? Can’t think why else anyone would drink gin 🤢

I had this when I gave birth - everyone gave me a bottle of champagne. I’d been teetotal for 3 years and was breastfeeding. Very odd.

SunshineLoving · 15/08/2022 13:57

A nice bottle of alcohol that I like wouldn't be a rubbish present for me. I like gin, vodka, red wine, white wine. I wouldn't mind a nice bottle of one of these for my birthday.

If I was to receive rosé, rum or brandy however, it would be a rubbish present.

I'm quite shocked that people who are supposed to be your friends would buy you alcohol that you don't like. They don't seem like very good friends for not knowing what you like, not checking beforehand or just not bothering whether you like it or not.

yellowsmileyface · 15/08/2022 13:58

I was going to say yabu when I read the title. Some people are really hard to buy for and alcohol is usually a safe choice. But I only ever buy alcohol I know for a fact my friends like, and I can sympathise that it's probably a bit inconvenient to have lots of bottles of something you don't drink, so YANBU.

On a seperate note I'm curious why you include receipts with your gifts? That strikes me as an odd thing to do, like it sends a message that you're expecting them to want to return it.

HangOnToYourself · 15/08/2022 14:00

Think of it that they have saved you 600 quid in future gifts...and every time you gift one of the items to someone else you can spend the equivalent cash on yourself for something you do like 😁 that way they have given you a gift you actually want (eventually)

MaggieFS · 15/08/2022 14:03

I know what you mean, but I find it so so so hard to select gifts. You're lucky you manage it. I default to booze because I'd rather spend my money on that, than something that they may not like that will clutter up their house.

I'd see it as a positive. You've effectively been given £600. Now go and blow that on whatever you like because you're sorted for gifts for other people, or booze to serve to others for the foreseeable.

AmbushedByCake · 15/08/2022 14:05

<dms address to OP to help her declutter>

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/08/2022 14:07

I’d be happy with it if they gave it to me!

However as you don’t like either of these things, it’s a rubbish present.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/08/2022 14:07

I’d also keep if for regifts though

AmbushedByCake · 15/08/2022 14:07

You're sort of unreasonable in your thread title, it isn't inherently crap. It depends on the recipient. My DH loves nothing more than receiving a mixed pack of cable ties as a gift. I would love gin and champagne, but once a 'friend' bought me a coffee lovers set for Christmas. I loathed coffee.

ManateeFair · 15/08/2022 14:11

Booze isn’t a very imaginative gift and although I’m usually happy to receive it, I’d want it to be something I actually like drinking! I would probably only get a bottle for someone if I definitely knew it was a drink they liked, and ideally a bottle of something more interesting/special than one you could easily get in any supermarket.

It sounds like it was a big party with a lot of guests if you got as many gifts as that, so my guess is that these are people who are aware that you drink alcohol but weren’t aware or hadn’t remembered that you don’t like champagne or gin. Same thing happened to my friend with champagne - her very closest friends know she doesn’t drink wine at all but plenty of her other friends, like work friends, old uni mates she doesn’t see that often any more etc, didn’t know or hadn’t remembered. It is a bit annoying but on the plus side, easy to re-gift…

ManateeFair · 15/08/2022 14:14

On a seperate note I'm curious why you include receipts with your gifts? That strikes me as an odd thing to do, like it sends a message that you're expecting them to want to return it.

Oh, I don’t think it’s odd at all. I just think it means “I hope you love this, but just in case you don’t, here’s the receipt”. I think it’s considerate to give people the option to return something if they don’t like it.

butterflied · 15/08/2022 14:15

Sounds crap for you. Regift. I'd be disappointed if friends knew that I didn't drink.

NCHammer2022 · 15/08/2022 14:17

If they know you don’t drink it, it’s a shit present for you. It’s not a shit present for someone who does like gin or champagne.