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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that alcohol is a rubbish present

109 replies

Newusername3kidss · 15/08/2022 13:49

Just had a big birthday celebration- hosted a party with catering and drinks and entertainment. Everyone had an amazing time. I’m genuinely not bothered by gifts and am just happy that people have come to celebrate with us but as it was a big birthday, everyone brought gifts. Which is lovely. But 80% of the gifts were bottles of champagne and gin. I drink neither of these. These are friends who have known me for many many years so can’t understand why they went for overpriced bottles of booze which I won’t touch and will just end up giving away. I’ve made such an effort with friends birthdays recently and chosen sentimental gifts they can keep but also included gift receipts with them. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I’m currently trying to find space in the cupboard for 15 bottles of champagne and 8 bottles of gin (I worked out they are worth about £600). AIBU ?? I’m not a massive drinker and happen to dislike both these drinks but would other people have been thrilled?

OP posts:
Newusername3kidss · 16/08/2022 08:53

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/08/2022 23:39

YANBU

Im not tee total but I only drink on nights out and if we are on holiday. Never with a meal. If someone gets me booze as a present it gets regifted before it gets drunk by me.

Having said that I do love smellies and would rather have £10 of Body Shop goodies than booze

This is it, everyone knows that since having kids I only drink if I go out (which isn’t that often). Started to just get healthier once eldest was born and found I didn’t really miss drinking whilst pregnant!!

OP posts:
Eloradannin2nd · 16/08/2022 09:01

Most of the responses on here saying that alcohol is a lazy gift. Then going on to say regift it!! Love the logic of MN 🙄

Schooldil3ma · 16/08/2022 09:02

Now Dh would be delighted with a single malt. I don't really drink, but I'd just pass the bottles on to someone who would enjoy them.
I'd be disappointed with this gift from my mum or suchlike, but as a gift for a birthday in response to holding a big party it's pretty par for the course.

countrygirl99 · 16/08/2022 09:08

It's not an inherently bad gift, I would much rather get a bottle of decent wine, gin or malt whisky than smellies/ photo frames/ ornaments etc which are likely to go straight in the charity shop box. But if you don't drink it's a rubbish gift.

FunsizedandFabulous · 16/08/2022 09:10

My FiL can't afford aged Scottish whisky so we save up and get him a bottle for Christmas. I know nothing about whisky but apparently depending on what wood its matured in and how long it's been maturing adds smoothness and flavour.

I hate champagne and gin. I give gin to my mum, who rarely has to buy her own. The champagne goes to any charity hamper I can pawn it off to. I drink beer, but never get gifted any.

Sunnyqueen · 16/08/2022 09:12

Alcohol is not a crap present per se. Its just crap to you because you don't drink it. I'd find golf course vouchers a crap present but others would love it. Just regift it back to them at Christmas /birthdays they might get the hint then.

FruitToast · 16/08/2022 09:14

YANBU. I'm teetotal. Haven't had a drink since I decided at 19, that actually I really didn't like the taste or feeling of being drunk. Yet I still get bottles of alcohol as gifts. I never give people alcohol as a gift in case they don't drink (unless it's someone like DH who asks for specific single malts) so I just have loads of bottles of cheap looking wine in the cupboard that I periodically throw away.

limitedperiodonly · 16/08/2022 09:21

You say you aren't bothered by gifts but you obviously because you're moaning about these ones.

Providing someone is not an alcoholic or has religious or ideological objections to alcohol it is no more a rubbish present than any other and more useful than some.

You don't have to store it in your cupboard, you can give it away or pour it down the drain. There's no need to worry about the cost to the giver unless you'd have preferred the cash - £600, you say. But you don't sound like the sort of person who would want the cash. I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with cash but I know it horrifies some people on Mumsnet as does alcohol.

Wartywart · 16/08/2022 09:23

Re-gift. I have a shelf full of such bottles in the shed and if I go to a party, I take one. I don't drink, so then I head straight for the cold water tap.

Blackdiame · 16/08/2022 09:29

It is a lazy gift but I'm not too bothered if I receive booze cos I'd just use it in recipies and I love faffy cooking. I just think of it as fancy expensive ingredients I would never buy myself and make it into a fancy meal.

godmum56 · 16/08/2022 09:31

womaninatightspot · 15/08/2022 13:52

I’d of been happy but I drink both. It’s hard to but champagne for yourself as it feels frivolous. Just stick them in a cupboard and regift.

"It’s hard to but champagne for yourself as it feels frivolous"

no it isn't!! its really easy to buy champagne for yourself....and drink it yourself!

CounsellorTroi · 16/08/2022 09:33

It was my DH’s best friend’s 70th recently. We gave him a bottle of wine from an Italian boutique winery in a presentation box. He’s a wine drinker. We figured at that age he’s already got enough stuff.

godmum56 · 16/08/2022 09:33

FruitToast · 16/08/2022 09:14

YANBU. I'm teetotal. Haven't had a drink since I decided at 19, that actually I really didn't like the taste or feeling of being drunk. Yet I still get bottles of alcohol as gifts. I never give people alcohol as a gift in case they don't drink (unless it's someone like DH who asks for specific single malts) so I just have loads of bottles of cheap looking wine in the cupboard that I periodically throw away.

why do you waste it? I get given red wine which I can no longer drink so I offer it to local good causes to use as raffle and tombola prizes and so on.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 16/08/2022 09:36

Eloradannin2nd · 16/08/2022 09:01

Most of the responses on here saying that alcohol is a lazy gift. Then going on to say regift it!! Love the logic of MN 🙄

I took it to mean re-gift it to one of the people who gave you booze you didn't drink.

NCRealQuick · 16/08/2022 09:38

Providing someone is not an alcoholic or has religious or ideological objections to alcohol it is no more a rubbish present than any other and more useful than some.

You won't always know who is an alcoholic or has one in their home. It is much more common than you'd think. Alcoholics have jobs and families and can appear totally normal.

DH has a massive drink problem. He functioned OK for years and stayed dry much of the time, but his heart wasn't it in. My God, how I hated the random bottles of wine and whisky that well-meaning people would "gift" us/him. More than once they'd knock him off the wagon and then all bets were off. Whenever I was able to intercept them, they'd go straight down the sink because I couldn't risk having the stuff in the house.

This is why I would never give alcohol as a gift unless specifically requested. I'm an excellent gift-giver and love choosing, but if I didn't know the person I'd go for a voucher to John Lewis or similar. That can be used by anyone and won't take up any room in their house while they wait to use it.

On another note, I have a relative who's a teetotal teacher and she always ended up with numerous bottles of wine knocking around her house until she could use them up in cooking or find someone who wanted them. It is NOT a good catch-all present.

FirewomanSam · 16/08/2022 09:40

I don’t drink so it would be a rubbish gift for me but in general I think food/drink gifts are a good option as they can be used and enjoyed, and you don’t end up with lots of ‘stuff’ that you don’t want or need.

Buying you drinks that you don’t even like is lazy and thoughtless though. If these were people you didn’t know well then I think a bottle of champagne is an understandable default option, but if they know you don’t drink it then that’s very naff.

On the plus side you now have a good stock of bottles to take to dinner parties as gifts for the host! That’s what I do with any bottles of wine that I’m given by people who don’t realise I don’t drink. In fact I’m willing to bet half of the bottles of champagne you received were given to the giver in the same circumstances!

RagingWoke · 16/08/2022 09:48

I think throwing a big party you accept you'll get bottles of alcohol. It's an easy 'go to' gift if it's not known the receiver is an alcoholic/tee total and most adults don't need more stuff. Regift, donate, bin.

I see John Lewis vouchers suggested as a catch all gift, but they'd be useless to a lot of people. I often get cosmetics or toiletry sets that are expensive but useless, people know I like nice make up and toiletries but don't know they're chosen very carefully because of sensitive skin, so it's a thoughtful gift but still won't ever be used (give me a decent bottle of rum, whiskey or red wine and and I'd be over the moon!).

Strulch · 16/08/2022 09:50

Yes you are being unreasonable. You are a grown woman what on earth sort of gifts would you expect/need? - in fact you shouldn't expect any. People were just being polite by bringing a gift.

FirewomanSam · 16/08/2022 09:53

One of the unexpected perks of being teetotal is that people (at least people who know) get really creative with gifts when they can’t just chuck you a bottle of booze. I’ve had fancy cheese hampers, very posh biscuits that looked like works of art, beautiful plants and flowers… it’s great!

HopelesslyHopeful87 · 16/08/2022 09:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

HopelesslyHopeful87 · 16/08/2022 09:54

Sorry posted on wrong thread have reported my own comment! 😂

yellowsmileyface · 16/08/2022 09:56

It’s something I think they will love but maybe they’d prefer a different colour / size / style etc. I think including gift receipt is considerate!

I still find it a bit odd. It just feels very hesitant I guess, though I can see how it could be considerate. I'm just wondering how much of a norm this is as I've never done it, nor had anyone do this for me.

Also I was always under the impression it's rude to disclose how much a gift cost, which including a receipt inadvertently does.

Aprilx · 16/08/2022 09:56

I don’t generally think it is a crap present, but if these people know you well, then yes in this case it was pretty crap

yellowsmileyface · 16/08/2022 10:01

Eloradannin2nd · 16/08/2022 09:01

Most of the responses on here saying that alcohol is a lazy gift. Then going on to say regift it!! Love the logic of MN 🙄

Haha good point!

I kinda resent the view that it's lazy. I always put a lot of thought into gifts and spend ages finding something I think they'll love.

But I have some friends that are just so difficult to buy for, and the longer the friendship the harder it gets because I don't want to get something too similar to what I already got them before.

I basically give alcohol as a last resort, it's never a lazy first choice. Rant over!

PugInTheHouse · 16/08/2022 10:02

If its someone I didn't know I may go for champagne if I had no way of finding out what they liked. I would love champagne/gin but my friends know this and I got some amazing unusual gins and some lovely champagne for my 40th. I had a big party and they were all people who properly knew me, not randoms.

Most people would make an effort to check what the recipient may like so its a shame you had so many gifts you wouldn't use.