Parents of young kids, how much couple time do you get on holiday?

[dockspider]

If you have young kids (preschool and early primary years sorts of ages) and don’t use kids clubs, how much time do you and your partner get as a couple on holiday?

DH has just said that he feels sad we didn’t get any proper time the two of us on overseas holiday. I think it’s a bit unrealistic to expect that with small kids, no childcare and relaxed/late bedtimes for kids (latter is both of our choice/fault but does mean we tend to head to bed not long after the children).

AIBU?

Ours were in bed by 7.30/8 even on holiday so we had the evenings. We would hire a local babysitter 1 night of the holiday....used her every year. She was fab but cost more than the meal!

Somewhere in the middle of slim to fucking none and absolutely fuck all.

we went to Barbados last year - all inclusive, with kids club, and my 3 year was having none of it. She wanted to go, but not without us. Our 5 yr old was well up for it, but not without the 3 yr old.

I could’ve cried. I know that sounds selfish and privileged, but my husband was diagnosed with cancer last year and I lost my job (my redundancy paid for our holiday after everything we’d been through!) , all I wanted was just to enjoy a couple of hours with my husband lying in the sun by the pool with a couple of pina coladas. In the end we took it in turns to stay with the them for a couple of hours at a time in the kids club so the other one could have some peace by the pool.

but whenever we go away, we always make sure we have a balcony so at least when they FINALLY go to sleep we can sit together outside for a quick drink and some peace.

None- until we went away this year and used kids club at the hotel for the first time as they were old enough. They loved it and made friends and we got some peace. Win win.

Very little unless we've gone away with grandparents. Otherwise, maybe an hour of an evening when they go to bed. DC are good sleepers usually but being on holiday seems to turn them nocturnal with the change in routine and location.

@MabelMoo23 that doesn’t sound selfish, that’s totally understandable!

I just want to reiterate - our kids are ages 3-8, we are well accustomed to and really, really enjoy family holidays. We don’t want to go to the sorts of places that have kids clubs and aren’t expecting or wanting to be apart from the kids during their waking hours!

I think the difference on this trip was that the kids went to bed pretty much at the same time as us. It sounds like that’s the norm for many and not the norm for others. I was fine with it, DH obviously wishes we had kept up their usual bedtimes so we could’ve had an hour or two together each evening like we do at home.
Obviously something we will have to think about in future as in the heat of the moment (no pun intended!) he will always be the one saying ‘oh let’s just stay another hour at the beach’ ‘let’s stop for ice cream on the way home’ ‘let’s all get dressed up and go out for a nice meal’ etc!

Zero.

Realistically, not much! Only the time they go to bed in the evenings. We tend to do self catering because we can put them to bed then sit and have a drink or something.

Once they're in bed. We try to stick to usual routine for bed and we dont share a room with them but its still only really a few hours a night as per home

Sometimes we go away with my DP's and they will have the DC so DH and I can go out for a meal and have a couple of drinks together once or twice during our stay. When we go away just us it depends. If we're in an Air BnB the DC can have their own room and we get a couple of hours in the evenings once they're in bed. Our most recent holiday was in a hotel in a family room so zero childfree time!

The main thing is your DS enjoys going to them, that's all that matters. Bonus if they are free too😊

Less than when we’re home, which is hard as we get almost zero then!

On a holiday, none. We've never gone anywhere with a kids club, so just not an option. We try to make the most of evenings after kids have gone to bed. And on a longer holiday (more than a few days), we would take turns having them so the other could go do something.