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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents of young kids, how much couple time do you get on holiday?

112 replies

dockspider · 14/08/2022 17:31

If you have young kids (preschool and early primary years sorts of ages) and don’t use kids clubs, how much time do you and your partner get as a couple on holiday?

DH has just said that he feels sad we didn’t get any proper time the two of us on overseas holiday. I think it’s a bit unrealistic to expect that with small kids, no childcare and relaxed/late bedtimes for kids (latter is both of our choice/fault but does mean we tend to head to bed not long after the children).

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheTeddyBears · 14/08/2022 19:24

None and I imagine that's the same for most families. I have 2yr old and 5yr old they both stayed up until about 10pm and we all went to bed at same time.

The only you wld get couple time is if you can manage to get the grandparents to come too and u can get an evening out by yourself.

One day I got an hour to myself at the pool as eldest was at kids club and youngest away for a walk with her dad to get a sleep. Place we stayed kids club lasted maximum of 1.5hrs sometimes only 45mins it was all organised activities they did so had a time frame.

Schooldil3ma · 14/08/2022 19:32

What the fuck did he expect, I really hope for you sake he isn't sulking about it @dockspider

Gatehouse77 · 14/08/2022 19:36

When the children were little, none.
But, we would do the odd night/weekend away just the two of us here and there.
Our first actual holiday without children wasn't until they were in their teens and it was paid for DH's work.
Sometimes the kids would go away and we stayed at home doing nothing - it was blissful!

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 19:38

dockspider · 14/08/2022 17:31

If you have young kids (preschool and early primary years sorts of ages) and don’t use kids clubs, how much time do you and your partner get as a couple on holiday?

DH has just said that he feels sad we didn’t get any proper time the two of us on overseas holiday. I think it’s a bit unrealistic to expect that with small kids, no childcare and relaxed/late bedtimes for kids (latter is both of our choice/fault but does mean we tend to head to bed not long after the children).

AIBU?

I always feel painfully sorry for kids dumped in kids' club on holiday. A family holiday means the family surely, not mum and dad having a romantic break while the kids wonder how much longer they have to put up with a total stranger trying to amuse them. Not for me. Not for my kiss.

Stickmansmum · 14/08/2022 19:39

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 19:38

I always feel painfully sorry for kids dumped in kids' club on holiday. A family holiday means the family surely, not mum and dad having a romantic break while the kids wonder how much longer they have to put up with a total stranger trying to amuse them. Not for me. Not for my kiss.

Show quote history

OMG😂

mondaytosunday · 14/08/2022 19:43

We kept pretty much the same routine with our kids on holiday. If at a self catering place that's easier - and it means we had an evening together.
Harder at a hotel I grant you, where once you put the kids to bed you are kinda stuck ( though we once had dinner two floors below our room and listened in to the baby monitor between course - not very relaxing). We have tried baby listening service at another hotel, but when my toddler daughter managed to get to the dining room from ANOTHER BUILDING, I never did that again.
Generally went self catering.

mac1974 · 14/08/2022 19:46

Our kids are 8&11 and they don't seem to want to make friends with other kids. They are happy with each other and us so we get no time together. It's okay though. When we are at home we are always busy with stuff so it's nice to just hang out together.......most of the time

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 20:02

Stickmansmum · 14/08/2022 19:39

OMG😂

Show quote history

So what are you doing when you've dumped the kids? What's so important that you've left them with a bunch of strangers?

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 20:04

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 20:02

So what are you doing when you've dumped the kids? What's so important that you've left them with a bunch of strangers?

Show quote history

Couple time? A relationship? A break?

Do you never ever use childcare?

Jellytottss · 14/08/2022 20:05

What sort of holiday did you book? I think it's possible to get the kids to bed at a decent time o holiday if they have been up from early morning and been busy all day.

How old are your DC? Search holiday villages or Splashworlds for younger kids.

Ponderingwindow · 14/08/2022 20:14

Zero.

When you are a parent of young kids its not a really a holiday, it’s a work trip.

now that we have a young teen it feels like a holiday, but we still don’t have any real privacy or romantic time. Trips are about family bonding time and it’s actually kind of fantastic in a way because at home it’s so hard to bring our teen out of her shell and really connect, but on holiday we all feel much closer. We are increasing our trip frequency for this reason with lots of local short breaks.

lioncitygirl · 14/08/2022 20:14

Fuck all.

Simonjt · 14/08/2022 20:22

Ha, virtually none.

This morning we had some child free time together, I was brushing my teeth while my husband had a poo.

If you get a villa, cottage etc and you aren’t in a too different time zone you can get some time in the evening. When we went to Spain bedtime wasn’t too different, so we had 2-3 hours together each night. We’re in Ottawa at the moment, the time zone so sleep happens when it happens, especially as our daughter is only a baby.

Annabananna1 · 14/08/2022 20:24

None

Roxie99 · 14/08/2022 20:24

Zero including we didn't even sleep in the same room! So yeah we need to find a babysitter

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 20:26

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 20:04

Couple time? A relationship? A break?

Do you never ever use childcare?

Show quote history

No I wouldn't leave my kids with total strangers, as I said. Nor would many others judging by this thread. You enjoy your personal time though, hope your kids don't spend their holiday clock watching.

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 20:31

She’s 3, she can’t tell the time on a clock. I could probably leave her for days.

HairyScaryMonster · 14/08/2022 20:34

Mine are 5 and 8 and DH and I walked along the beach and back, took about 10 mins. We held hands and everything 😂

Apart from that, technically alone from 9ish but 8yo often not asleep til 10 or later.

shinynewapple22 · 14/08/2022 20:43

We never went on the types of holiday where there was a kids club.

Baby and toddler aged 2 I remember as a bit of a nightmare - not relaxing at all.

Age 3 with better sleep patterns DC went to bed pretty normal time and we had evenings sitting outside our cottage/ villa.

Age 4 and up generally everything was done as a family .

I think my DH struggled with early parenthood and the fact that we could no longer go out in the evenings to nice restaurants etc - but then we just seemed to merge into being a 'family' rather than a 'couple'. You get the time back eventually when they are teenagers and no longer want to go away with you ! In a way I'm joking, but in actual fact the time goes by so quickly .

Sandsnake · 14/08/2022 20:44

We’ve done two Villa holidays to Greece with a pre-schooler and definitely got less alone time that at home! He was good at going to bed but we decided to keep him on UK time so we’d go out to eat together and he was in bed around 21.30 every night. We’d then have a couple of hours or so max, and would be pretty tired. Worth it for the later starts though!

Tigerstripes1 · 14/08/2022 20:44

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 20:26

No I wouldn't leave my kids with total strangers, as I said. Nor would many others judging by this thread. You enjoy your personal time though, hope your kids don't spend their holiday clock watching.

Show quote history

Wow thats really harsh. Plenty of people use childcare, whilst on holiday and not.

My kids love kids club, I've had to drag them out before. I get a few hours to sunbathe and they get to play silly games/do crafts/make friends. Win win all round.

brookstar · 14/08/2022 20:47

I always feel painfully sorry for kids dumped in kids' club on holiday. A family holiday means the family surely, not mum and dad having a romantic break while the kids wonder how much longer they have to put up with a total stranger trying to amuse them. Not for me. Not for my kiss.

Yeah that two hours of playing and having fun with other kids is the equivalent to putting them to work in the mill .... I mean, seriously get a grip 🙄

surreygirl1987 · 14/08/2022 20:47

Just evenings when they've gone to bed
... but we've made our peace with that.

User48751490 · 14/08/2022 20:47

TheTeddyBears · 14/08/2022 19:24

None and I imagine that's the same for most families. I have 2yr old and 5yr old they both stayed up until about 10pm and we all went to bed at same time.

The only you wld get couple time is if you can manage to get the grandparents to come too and u can get an evening out by yourself.

One day I got an hour to myself at the pool as eldest was at kids club and youngest away for a walk with her dad to get a sleep. Place we stayed kids club lasted maximum of 1.5hrs sometimes only 45mins it was all organised activities they did so had a time frame.

Good grief, perish the thought having my 5yo and 6yo (being assessed for ADHD) staying up til 10pm😩 no thanks - I just wouldn't be able to cope.

Early to bed, early to rise in our home. We keep same routine on holiday - 7pm onwards is MY time 🤣

Older DC can self regulate their own bedtimes, so we leave them to it.

brookstar · 14/08/2022 20:48

So what are you doing when you've dumped the kids? What's so important that you've left them with a bunch of strangers?

Usually having sex.....