Parents of young kids, how much couple time do you get on holiday?

[dockspider]

If you have young kids (preschool and early primary years sorts of ages) and don’t use kids clubs, how much time do you and your partner get as a couple on holiday?

DH has just said that he feels sad we didn’t get any proper time the two of us on overseas holiday. I think it’s a bit unrealistic to expect that with small kids, no childcare and relaxed/late bedtimes for kids (latter is both of our choice/fault but does mean we tend to head to bed not long after the children).

AIBU?

When ours were small we didn't get any unless they were asleep (3DC). Now the youngest is in upper juniors we actually had quite a lot of time together, but during the day when they were in the pool with friends, they were going to bed pretty late.

I must admit it hadn't occurred to me to use a kids club when on holiday because I wanted to be with the DC as taxing as it can be at times as it's like herding sheep😂

I just don't feel comfortable with others watching them who don't know them well.

None

None at all… but they get to stay up on iPads in restaurants quietly while we chat and finish a bottle of wine one night or two. Not forever!

We usually do self catering so in the evening once they've gone to bed - maybe 2 or 3 hours if we're lucky or if sacrifice an hour's sleep. Both early risers regardless of time difference, how tired they are and how late they go to bed. 😱

We have always gone on holidays with my parents so we actually get to have a rest and some alone time in the evenings. My parents like to stay in in the evenings so they watch the kids for us and we get to enjoy the resorts entertainments/bars.

None at all in the day time as others have said.
And then we sit out from about 7/8 pm until we are both falling asleep at about 9.30

Kids clubs are typically two hours a day. It doesn't really take that much time out of your day.

Have you never used childcare? How well do you know your child's teachers at school?

People really get wound up about kids club when it's really no different to using childcare.

Not really comparable as both teachers and childcare within the UK is highly regulated and there are minimum qualifications, maximum ratios etc.

Not really comparable as both teachers and childcare within the UK is highly regulated and there are minimum qualifications, maximum ratios etc.

All the kids clubs I've used have used qualified staff and followed strict regulations.

Bad luck, it only gets worse as they get older. Zero couple time!

Not really comparable as both teachers and childcare within the UK is highly regulated and there are minimum qualifications, maximum ratios etc.

Yes I'd agree. Random unqualified teens are allowed to look after kids at kids club type things. I did, when I did Camp America when I was at uni, and that was a sleepaway place! Most of the people working with me were in no way responsible and were just there looking for a good time. Now, I'm not saying I'd never use a Kids Club- I likely will at some point - but I would be mad to automatically assume it's as safe as leaving my children in childcare or at school.

Ours always nap on holidays so we get a good hour or so in the day, then the evenings when they’re asleep. Never used kids clubs or babysitters abroad.

Zero! We just got back from Dubai not long ago and our three dc aged between 13-5 probably slept after we had gone to sleep 😂

We're planning on having a short break away in October and pils having the girls providing they agree (which they most likely will I'm sure.) looking forward to some couple time then and doing things that just suit such as sitting in a cafe and chatting for ages x

Zero. And we deliberately don't use kids clubs as we feel the whole point of holidays is to see the kids more as we both work full time. We communicate on WhatsApp more than we do face to face on holiday as we both do separate things with the older and younger DC.

May I add though, we all had an amazing time and had so much fun! I think going with the mindset that it's a family holiday and the kids will be involved in pretty much everything really helps And you all just enjoy it more .

I did camp America too. It's in no way comparable to the kids clubs I've used.
I've only ever gone to hotels that use qualified childcare practitioners.

Plus, two hours of supervised play while the parents are on site is not the same as going away to camp. It's ridiculous to compare the two.

None unless we go with family and we can share the childcare. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my children in a kids club.

I get my respite time when they're all at school - or "kids club" most of the year. I won't pay for it on holiday.

So true. My eldest is 15 and up later than me in the evenings these days 🤣🤣

Single parent and always used Scott Dunn who have lovely kids clubs and locations.

DD and I used to have a fabulous time. Together and apart. I really loved the respite and she loved the clubs.

Now I have a partner with a teenage son and DD is 13 we have absolutely no time as we are doing busy holiday trips. I'm doing it all wrong

They're usually included in the cost of the holiday.

MN gets really funny about kids clubs and I don't understand why.

They're typically two hours in duration so you still get plenty of family time. DS is an only child so going to kids club means he gets to meet and play with other children. The ones we've used have been run by qualified childcare practitioners and parents have to remain on site.

We're going away next week and DS has already started looking at what kids clubs activities he wants to sign up to. He's enjoys them.

When they were little none as they tend to go to bed later. Enjoy them being little - once they're teenagers they're not as interested in spending time with you.

None. We have a big age gap too so the littly is up around 6am and the older one doesn't go to bed until 9.30 - 10pm. Our oldest hated holiday clubs when he was little and wouldn't stay with them so we're used to not having any adult only time.