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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to this?

59 replies

Charliehi · 13/08/2022 17:28

So DH is being a god father to a baby I have never met tomorrow, I have never met the parents either but they are close friends of DH’s through work. We have just got back from holiday and I have so much to do, also DD (5) wants to go for a sleepover at her grand instead. AIBU to let DH go on his own? Don’t fancy taking my 1 year old either.

OP posts:
GreenManalishi · 13/08/2022 17:31

Yanbu but that wouldn't be a question in my house. I'd just say I don't fancy it for reasons above, see you when you get back, I love you, have fun!

Original poster
Charliehi · 13/08/2022 17:32

DH is making me question it by saying I should be there? Really?

OP posts:
PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 17:33

Charliehi · 13/08/2022 17:32

DH is making me question it by saying I should be there? Really?

Probably because he wants you to actually meet his close friends

I know, such an asshole

Not

Original poster
Charliehi · 13/08/2022 17:34

I understand why he would want us there of course.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/08/2022 17:34

I think if he is close enough to be godfather then it would be nice to make an effort to go and meet them. Let your daughter have her sleepover as long as she can be looked after until your back

simpledeer · 13/08/2022 17:35

I don't go places I don't want to go.

There's another thread about couples who have to do everything together - I find it really weird.

Wheelerdeeler · 13/08/2022 17:36

You are incredibly selfish.

He's important enough to be asked to be godfather but you don't deem them important to meet

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 13/08/2022 17:36

Depends whether you rsvp'd as attending or not?

SunshineAndFizz · 13/08/2022 17:36

I'd make the effort to go to something like this.

It's not like an average night out or anything.

GingerPigz · 13/08/2022 17:38

If the tables were turned would you be annoyed if he didn't go to something with you that you would prefer him to be at? Your answer to that quandary will give you the answer to this quandary.

category12 · 13/08/2022 17:38

I think you should go - maybe travel independently so you can leave DH to it if it's a long do. But at least show your face and meet his friends that he's close enough to to be made a godparent.

You have a small child so you can blame them for sloping off early.

ofwarren · 13/08/2022 17:39

simpledeer · 13/08/2022 17:35

I don't go places I don't want to go.

There's another thread about couples who have to do everything together - I find it really weird.

Neither do I. I also find it really weird.

luxxlisbon · 13/08/2022 17:39

I can see why he’s frustrated. You haven’t bothered to get to know his close friends, so close that they have made him their baby’s godfather and your excuse if you’ve just got back from holiday?
To me this just seems like one of those things you suck up for your partner. A christening is a formal event and it’s a bit shitty to not attend with your partner who has a key role because you just can’t be arsed.

TooBored1 · 13/08/2022 17:39

Surely you discussed this when you knew the date/booked the holiday?

For some people, this is a big event and they might find it really rude if you've rsvp and just don't turn up.

HSKAT · 13/08/2022 17:41

I would go personally. Make an effort to get to know his good friends you haven't met who's he's important enough to be their child's god parent.
It's a couple hours

MermaidSwimming · 13/08/2022 17:42

If dh has friends close enough to ask him to be godparent I would make the effort to meet them

luxxlisbon · 13/08/2022 17:42

simpledeer · 13/08/2022 17:35

I don't go places I don't want to go.

There's another thread about couples who have to do everything together - I find it really weird.

So you would decide the day before a christening or wedding that you just don’t feel like it anymore because ‘I don’t want to’.
Surely that’s just incredibly rude and isn’t a normal way to behave in social situations, particularly that people have had to go the the effort of organising and paying for.

Treecreature · 13/08/2022 17:43

I wouldn't bother either. Church services are incredibly boring.

category12 · 13/08/2022 17:44

ofwarren · 13/08/2022 17:39

Neither do I. I also find it really weird.

Show quote history

I find it really weird not to make an effort for the people in your life.

It's a special event for DH's close friends. DH would like her to go.

It's not a demand that they do everything together all the time, it's a simple nice thing to do for someone you love. Especially if you would like your partner to turn up to your own family or friends' special occcasions.

BattenburgDonkey · 13/08/2022 17:44

Did you RSVP yes? If so then go, it’d be very rude not to. It’s also just strange that you are so unwilling to make any effort to meet people that your DH is close enough to that he’s been asked to be a god parent. If it was just open invite and you haven’t RSVPd it’s not as bad to not go.

simpledeer · 13/08/2022 17:45

No I rarely accept wedding invitations because I find them so boring aside from the actual wedding service.

OP doesn't say if she accepted the invitation or whether it was extended to her - they are just work friends of her DH and she has never even met them, so I can't see how they would be remotely bothered if she isn't there.

PollyRockets · 13/08/2022 17:45

simpledeer · 13/08/2022 17:45

No I rarely accept wedding invitations because I find them so boring aside from the actual wedding service.

OP doesn't say if she accepted the invitation or whether it was extended to her - they are just work friends of her DH and she has never even met them, so I can't see how they would be remotely bothered if she isn't there.

Oh my, bet you're a popular gal irl

Cornettoninja · 13/08/2022 17:46

I can see why just your DH going is appealing but if you’ve been invited and he’s not happy to go alone then I think this is one of those occasions you should plaster on a smile and go. It’s obviously important to him and it’s a one-off kind of celebration.

Aprilx · 13/08/2022 17:46

If he wants you to go and the hosts understand you will be going, yes it is pretty unreasonable to pull out now just because you can’t be bothered. Couples usually attend something for their other half from time to time, you could make a bit more of an effort with his close friends.

BattenburgDonkey · 13/08/2022 17:47

ofwarren · 13/08/2022 17:39

Neither do I. I also find it really weird.

Show quote history

This isn’t doing everything together though is it? If they did everything together she’d probably have already met her husbands close friends, it’s a christening that the DH is godfather at that they’ve probably already RSVPd to, it’s not exactly codependent to attend it together.