To not go to this?

[Charliehi]

So DH is being a god father to a baby I have never met tomorrow, I have never met the parents either but they are close friends of DH’s through work. We have just got back from holiday and I have so much to do, also DD (5) wants to go for a sleepover at her grand instead. AIBU to let DH go on his own? Don’t fancy taking my 1 year old either.

I’m the opposite, I find the ceremony the most boring bit, would happily skip that and just go to the party!!

No I rarely accept wedding invitations because I find them so boring aside from the actual wedding service.

So it’s just all the socialising that is the boring bit?
Did you ever think these two things are linked…not being able to make an effort for social situations for the benefit of your friends and family and therefore not having a good time with people in social situations?

Just go! He's a god father. It's kinda expected

I do lots of things separately from my DH.

However, if your DH has been asked to be a godfather, I think it's somewhat rude if you don't go along!

It seems a bit mad that he's close enough to this couple that he's godfather to their child but you've never met them @Charliehi.

Has he met them since you've got together?

I don't have to do everything with my partner, far from it, but I'd make the effort for a christening where he'll be godfather.

They speak a lot at work and rarely outside of that so not really had chance to meet her. We haven’t been getting on recently too and he said they have said they don’t know how they put up with me. I’m worried I will feel a bit awkward.

my DD really does not want to go and wants to go to grans, can DH, DS and I just go?

I find it a bit odd too if I’m honest, they just never see each other out of work

Well if you've not been getting on refusing to go to a close friends event will be a bit of a nail in the coffin.

Just go with the 1 year old

Well now you've added that drip feed you're being even more unreasonable. They'll have another reason to dislike you if you don't turn up (and another reason if youndo turn up with a sour look on your face all day).

Maybe he wants to show you off as he's really proud of you?

Well, go and be charming and they'll wonder what he's been going on about.

Of course your dd can go to her gran's.

Yes your DD can go to her grans, they obviously wouldn’t mind one of your kids not attending.

Yes YABU not going. These things are family events. They probably think it would be a nice excuse to meet you.

I’m going to go 😊

Thanks everyone

I wouldn't expect my DH to turn up to my extended family occasions. I don't go to most of them either.

Not a chance I would be attending a christening for people I do not know.

and he said they have said they don’t know how they put up with me.

Sorry, got lost here - do you mean that your husband told you that these friends, who have never met you and who he knows mainly in a work context, tell him they don’t know how he puts up with you? If so, they may be weird and rude but that’s not your problem. Your husband bitching about you to his friends and then trying to manipulate you with the equivalent of ‘Nyah! Bobbie and Susie think you’re a poopyhead TOO,, so there!” is your problem. I’d be shutting that down now, whether you go or not.

Otherwise , I’d go to the event but maybe without the children if possible; since he has an official role you’ll be the one dealing with both children if one cries or fusses (not sure how old the older one is).

It's a slightly more formal event than a casual drink in the pub. Your husband is important enough to them to be asked to be a godparent. Of course you should go! Very rude not to if you've already said yes too. Despite you not getting on so well lately your husband would like you to accompany him. How awkward will he feel if you don't go? You never know, you might enjoy yourself.
Send your dd to her dg and just go with him & your son. That's what marriage is, supporting each other, doing nice things for each other & compromise.
If the "lots to do" is domestic stuff & you work full time have him help you with all of this in return?

Excuse me? They’ve said they don’t know how he puts up with you?!

I wouldn’t be going anyway, but I wouldn’t be guilted into going to watch him be a godparent to the baby of a work colleague he doesn’t see outside of work but sees fit to discuss my marriage in enough detail they make that kind of comment.

It would be really rude for you not to go.

They're close enough to dh to ask him to be godfather so I find it odd you have no interest on meeting them.

It sounds like you have been invited as a family and do has accepted on that basis. This has been planned ahead and backing out no for no real reason is a bit rude.

It sounds like they are reaching out to introduce your 2 families.

Yes it might be a PITA but you never know you might like them and enjoy it .....

I must have missed the bit where he's discussed your marriage with them. They've said they don't know how he puts up with you when they've never met you or heard your side of the story.
If this remark is unjustified then I'd still go to show them I'm not a complete monster. If your husband is otherwise a knobhead who does nothing to support & help you & is just generally an asshole to you then I wouldn't care if he felt awkward without me & would stay at home.

Glad you have changed your mind and planning to go now.

Most people talk to their friends about their relationships

It's kind of how most adult friendships work

@ofwarren

How would you expect to get to know them if you don't bother to attend events they're at or hosting?