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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to report my neighbors parents for their dangerous & unfit driving

68 replies

Wife2Frog · 12/08/2022 21:35

My neighbors have gone away for a couple of weeks leaving their parents to look after their home & pets ( 1x dog & 1x cat). Lovely old couple, don’t appear too frail however, both are quite possibly the worst drivers/parker’s ever! A few years ago they backed into my car leaving a dent from their tow bar ( I only prey they never took to the road with a trailer or worse, caravan), this I never reported as I had no actual evidence other than my son (Age 17 at the time) witnessing it from inside my home. My DH and I are currently painting our home and therefore, being up 3 storeys can see anyone parking on our street ( on street parking btw). This couple have attempted spots in their little Fiat 500 on numerous occasions that I could park a cruise ship in. Additionally, both endearingly & amusingly they take turns trying to park and on several occasions have hit and gone over the curb at speed. Furthermore, they have nearly run each other over in their haste. Needless to say they should not be behind the wheel, I don’t even want to think of the carnage they could potentially cause to people/property whilst driving or parking elsewhere. Should I. put a note through their door on neighbours return ( we speak quite often to them, but certain that this would definitely upset & anger them).

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 12/08/2022 22:01

Your son was a witness to the first accident and looking at both cars damage no doubt they would have confirmed they hit your car. You should have reported it!

Original poster
Wife2Frog · 12/08/2022 23:23

StoneofDestiny Thank you for your response. You are absolutely right, my son took photos and even took a measuring tape outside and measured ground to tow bar and ground to bumper incase I reported it so that he could give specific details. I simply felt bad for the old couple back then and refrained from doing so plus I didn’t wish to fall out with our neighbours ( next door + 1). Now, after having witnessed this on 5 separate occasions, their driving behavior is nothing short of dangerous and simply unbelievable. In my opinion, whatever your age, if you are unable to control your speed and unable to park without endangering others you should, either re-sit a driving test &/or take some regulatory training or surrender your license.

OP posts:
HorribleHerstory · 12/08/2022 23:31

In my mind driving and parking are actually quite different things.

what dangerous driving have they been doing?

what danger are they posing to other people because they are crap at parking (which is definitely common, just wander through any car park)? Denting property, possibly, often their own property I’d have thought, but parking is by definition stopping a car and is not done at speed especially with another person directing you.

livelaughlovewine · 12/08/2022 23:34

This reply has been deleted

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calmlakes · 12/08/2022 23:37

I would say something.
It sounds very dangerous.
If they are running each other over how are they going to stop if a dc runs into the road.

findingsomeone · 12/08/2022 23:42

Please report them, don't even just speak to your neighbours. BBC news story about Louis Thorold is why we should all do this. 40 children a year die as pedestrians due to vehicles on the road.

Louis Thorold: Driver cleared by reason of insanity over Waterbeach pram death www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-62503903

oopsfellover · 13/08/2022 00:23

You’re going to report them for being crap at parking? Who to, and what would you like the outcome to be?

Reversing into your car incident sounds a bit long ago to report it now.

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 00:31

Who made you the arbiter of parking standards? Parking and driving are not the same thing .

If you see them going out drunk, or without functioning brake lights or with an unrestrained child as a passenger, report them.

But otherwise, their parking skills not meeting your standards is none of your business.

Kite22 · 13/08/2022 00:35

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 00:31

Who made you the arbiter of parking standards? Parking and driving are not the same thing .

If you see them going out drunk, or without functioning brake lights or with an unrestrained child as a passenger, report them.

But otherwise, their parking skills not meeting your standards is none of your business.

This

TeapotTitties · 13/08/2022 00:38

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 00:31

Who made you the arbiter of parking standards? Parking and driving are not the same thing .

If you see them going out drunk, or without functioning brake lights or with an unrestrained child as a passenger, report them.

But otherwise, their parking skills not meeting your standards is none of your business.

Spot on 👏👏

Chocolatelabradorsarethebest · 13/08/2022 00:44

HorribleHerstory · 12/08/2022 23:31

In my mind driving and parking are actually quite different things.

what dangerous driving have they been doing?

what danger are they posing to other people because they are crap at parking (which is definitely common, just wander through any car park)? Denting property, possibly, often their own property I’d have thought, but parking is by definition stopping a car and is not done at speed especially with another person directing you.

I completely agree. They’re not dangerous drivers, they're rubbish parkers. You say ‘on road parking’ so I’m presuming they're having to parallel park? If they have a driveway they might not have parallel parked in years, I know loads of people, young and old who would struggle/wouldn't even attempt to parallel park but are perfectly safe drivers!

Redwinemaestro · 13/08/2022 00:49

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 00:31

Who made you the arbiter of parking standards? Parking and driving are not the same thing .

If you see them going out drunk, or without functioning brake lights or with an unrestrained child as a passenger, report them.

But otherwise, their parking skills not meeting your standards is none of your business.

Are you stupid? Of course parking is part of driving. Why do you think parking is part of the driving test?

Poor parking means poor awareness of space and poor control of the vehicle, thereby poor driving!

LadyWithLapdog · 13/08/2022 01:06

Please report to DVLA. Anyone can do this online.

TheMadGardener · 13/08/2022 01:11

I can't believe the number of people on this thread telling OP to mind her own business. As a PP said, only today there was the tragic news story about the baby killed by an elderly driver with undiagnosed dementia who should not have been driving. It's everyone's duty, if you see an elderly person who possibly has lost their capacity to drive safely, to report them. Preferably to their GP or the DVLA. Then they can be asked to take a medical and/or driving test to check their fitness to drive. If they turn out to be fine, great, but if they aren't fine their licence will be taken.

I've reported an elderly relative who was a dangerous driver. They were furious but my conscience was clear. If they'd caused a fatal accident and I knew they shouldn't have been still on the road, I'd never have forgiven myself.

GreenLunchBox · 13/08/2022 01:16

Unfortunately the police won't do anything. I'm not sure what they actually do any more

LadyWithLapdog · 13/08/2022 01:25

The DVLA will enquire if you report it.

LampLighter414 · 13/08/2022 01:39

Don’t tell neighbour just report to authorities. They’ll investigate and determine if they should still be driving.

Butterlover1 · 13/08/2022 03:46

BBC News - Xander Irvine: Pensioner arrested over fatal crash
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-53721611

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 13/08/2022 03:55

A nanny in my neighbourhood ended up in ICU for several weeks when someone had trouble parallel parking and mounted the curb at considerable speed (…having previously already stopped the car). She managed to push the pram with the two toddler twins she was looking after out of the way, but only just. The car ended up running over the woman and going through a shop window. The driver (thankfully unharmed) was a man in his 80s, from what I understand.

Parking is definitely a part of driving, and dangerous parking or a lack of spacial awareness are definitely things to report to the DVLA, without question.

fUNNYfACE36 · 13/08/2022 04:13

The website specifically states taking a long time to park is NOT classedx as dangerous driving
You,are just being vindictive because you think they pranged you .Address that if you must, but don't expect the police to be v ery interested,

Aprilx · 13/08/2022 05:05

You are being ridiculous. Report them to who? And what do you think is going to happen? Do you think they are going to have their licence revoked because a neighbour spotted them having some trouble parking? Mind your own business and stop being spiteful.

Aprilx · 13/08/2022 05:11

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 13/08/2022 03:55

A nanny in my neighbourhood ended up in ICU for several weeks when someone had trouble parallel parking and mounted the curb at considerable speed (…having previously already stopped the car). She managed to push the pram with the two toddler twins she was looking after out of the way, but only just. The car ended up running over the woman and going through a shop window. The driver (thankfully unharmed) was a man in his 80s, from what I understand.

Parking is definitely a part of driving, and dangerous parking or a lack of spacial awareness are definitely things to report to the DVLA, without question.

Twins eh? 🙄

You are as potty as the OP. Honestly, what do you think DVLA or anyone else can do with a neighbours report of poor parking technique?

Velvian · 13/08/2022 06:17

Definitely report to DVLA. I can't understand why PPs are telling you not to.

Being unable to control speed, direction and braking when parking is definitely dangerous driving. OP has said they're mounting the kerb at speed.

AnnaMagnani · 13/08/2022 06:22

DVLA will respond to anonymous reports.

You will need to know your neighbours parents details though.

Somanysocks · 13/08/2022 06:28

GreenLunchBox · 13/08/2022 01:16

Unfortunately the police won't do anything. I'm not sure what they actually do any more

They dance at pride marches and arrest people for hurting feelings on twitter.