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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to report my neighbors parents for their dangerous & unfit driving

68 replies

Wife2Frog · 12/08/2022 21:35

My neighbors have gone away for a couple of weeks leaving their parents to look after their home & pets ( 1x dog & 1x cat). Lovely old couple, don’t appear too frail however, both are quite possibly the worst drivers/parker’s ever! A few years ago they backed into my car leaving a dent from their tow bar ( I only prey they never took to the road with a trailer or worse, caravan), this I never reported as I had no actual evidence other than my son (Age 17 at the time) witnessing it from inside my home. My DH and I are currently painting our home and therefore, being up 3 storeys can see anyone parking on our street ( on street parking btw). This couple have attempted spots in their little Fiat 500 on numerous occasions that I could park a cruise ship in. Additionally, both endearingly & amusingly they take turns trying to park and on several occasions have hit and gone over the curb at speed. Furthermore, they have nearly run each other over in their haste. Needless to say they should not be behind the wheel, I don’t even want to think of the carnage they could potentially cause to people/property whilst driving or parking elsewhere. Should I. put a note through their door on neighbours return ( we speak quite often to them, but certain that this would definitely upset & anger them).

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 13/08/2022 06:32

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 00:31

Who made you the arbiter of parking standards? Parking and driving are not the same thing .

If you see them going out drunk, or without functioning brake lights or with an unrestrained child as a passenger, report them.

But otherwise, their parking skills not meeting your standards is none of your business.

I agree

whalleyt · 13/08/2022 06:34

clearly lots of posters on this thread are shit at parking 😆

RustyBear · 13/08/2022 06:36

Why do you think parking is part of the driving test?

It wasn't when I took my test, and probably wasn't when this older couple took theirs- it didn't come in until 1991.

Wellthatgotbetter · 13/08/2022 06:37

My neighbour seemed to lose her ability to park - she had a double driveway and still managed to take out my bin, the door of a delivery van, and the side of her own garage wall. Parking and driving are exactly the same. God knows what she was like in actual car parks.

Hobele · 13/08/2022 06:40

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 13/08/2022 03:55

A nanny in my neighbourhood ended up in ICU for several weeks when someone had trouble parallel parking and mounted the curb at considerable speed (…having previously already stopped the car). She managed to push the pram with the two toddler twins she was looking after out of the way, but only just. The car ended up running over the woman and going through a shop window. The driver (thankfully unharmed) was a man in his 80s, from what I understand.

Parking is definitely a part of driving, and dangerous parking or a lack of spacial awareness are definitely things to report to the DVLA, without question.

This is exactly the reason it should be reported.

OP said they hit/mounted the curb at speed, this could end really badly, I'd report all of this, including the damage to OP's car.

sweeetpotato · 13/08/2022 06:43

If someone mounted a kerb and hit a pedestrian while attempting to park, can someone explain to me why that wouldn't be considered dangerous driving?

If they are so shit at parking that they are oblivious to the world around them while trying to park, that's dangerous.

A one off incident is one thing, repeatedly being erratic and clumsy should be investigated. Why should someone lose their ability to walk, or their life, just because someone can't drive properly but we don't want to offend them?

Suzi888 · 13/08/2022 06:43

Butterlover1 · 13/08/2022 03:46

BBC News - Xander Irvine: Pensioner arrested over fatal crash
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-53721611

@MintJulia @TeapotTitties Attitudes like yours result in cases like this….
@GreenLunchBox the DVLA will.

Lockheart · 13/08/2022 06:49

They might not have harmed anyone yet, but if an attempt at parking has a reasonable chance of them mounting the pavement at speed, you must report it. The next time they mount a pavement at speed there could be someone on it. Or they could damage other people's cars or property.

Drivers should be competent and in control of their vehicle at all times when driving. It doesn't matter that it's "just parking".

I had a neighbour in my village once whose driving was becoming increasingly poor. But one day she tried to park her car in the same space two motorcycles were occupying. She knocked them over, panicked, and drove off. It happened right in front of the shop I was working in. She wasn't safe to drive anymore.

Redwinemaestro · 13/08/2022 06:49

RustyBear · 13/08/2022 06:36

Why do you think parking is part of the driving test?

It wasn't when I took my test, and probably wasn't when this older couple took theirs- it didn't come in until 1991.

Times have changed. Number of vehicles and people on the road have increased significantly, and idiot drivers and hazards too. Driving tests should be made tougher.

Muststopeating · 13/08/2022 07:02

Being shit at parking, i.e. taking ages to do it... is not dangerous driving.

Losing control of the vehicle whilst attempting to park IS dangerous.

They are different. If, whilst attempting to park, you get yourself into a fluster and muddle up your break and accelerator pedal then you have the potential to be lethal.

So OP you need to distinguish between the two. Were they just a bit rubbish and took ages (even if mounting the kerb, did they do so in a controlled fashion). Or did they lose control of the car?

If the latter, then report to DVLA.

ClarksonHammondMay · 13/08/2022 07:14

Muststopeating · 13/08/2022 07:02

Being shit at parking, i.e. taking ages to do it... is not dangerous driving.

Losing control of the vehicle whilst attempting to park IS dangerous.

They are different. If, whilst attempting to park, you get yourself into a fluster and muddle up your break and accelerator pedal then you have the potential to be lethal.

So OP you need to distinguish between the two. Were they just a bit rubbish and took ages (even if mounting the kerb, did they do so in a controlled fashion). Or did they lose control of the car?

If the latter, then report to DVLA.

👆This.

Original poster
Wife2Frog · 13/08/2022 07:43

Whilst I understand that some people can drive perfectly well but struggle to park, this couple are dreadful at both. We live on a fairly long street and they are either crawling along, or racing off, so this is definitely a case of ‘bad & dangerous driving’. They appear to struggle with their gears as the car jerks around before the engine stalls.

OP posts:
CandidaAlbicans2 · 13/08/2022 09:02

What's with the name calling tonight?! Harpy? Stupid? Potty?... 😬Fucksake 🙄

Campervangirl · 13/08/2022 09:34

Nah, parking and driving are completely different.
I'm a pretty good driver, never had an accident, been driving 30+yrs but can't park for shit.
Hated parallel parking during driving lessons, couldn't get my head around it, full lock etc so I just don't do it, I like a big space kerbside.
That said, I can park in car parks, reverse in etc

sweeetpotato · 13/08/2022 09:38

Campervangirl · 13/08/2022 09:34

Nah, parking and driving are completely different.
I'm a pretty good driver, never had an accident, been driving 30+yrs but can't park for shit.
Hated parallel parking during driving lessons, couldn't get my head around it, full lock etc so I just don't do it, I like a big space kerbside.
That said, I can park in car parks, reverse in etc

Parking and driving go hand in hand. You need to be a competent and safe Parker to be a good driver.

There's not being very good at parking and having to reposition the car 492720 times, but being safe and cautious.

Then there's being fucking dangerous ramming the car up and down kerbs and not being aware of what's going on around you because you are too preoccupied with trying to get the car in the space to check your surroundings. That makes for a shit and dangerous driver.

DeborahVance · 13/08/2022 09:44

I would report. Parking so badly that you mount the kerb, nearly run each other over and dent other cars is dangerous.

Imagine them parking in a busy car park or by a park with unpredictable small children around.

I wouldn't trust them not to get reverse and first gear confused, or brake and accelerate pedals.

KangarooKenny · 13/08/2022 09:48

Report to DVLA with the anonymous form online. No need to tell anyone as they won’t find out.
I did this as a relative of mine had a bump on their car that they didn’t know about, plus they shouldn’t have been driving anyway.

Theluggage15 · 13/08/2022 09:48

Report them. I imagine they park in other car parks where there will be people walking by, so they are a danger to others.

JauntyJinty · 13/08/2022 09:52

My friend has video footage of a driver running over a bin bag out side thier house and the repeatedly going back and forth destroying his neighbours low fence whilt trying to turn around. It's honestly about 5 minutes of driving forward and reversing, getting out to have a look and then carrying on. Very clearly not fit to be driving. Police and DVLA couldn't have been less interested.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/08/2022 16:13

*Being shit at parking, i.e. taking ages to do it... is not dangerous driving.

Losing control of the vehicle whilst attempting to park IS dangerous.

They are different. If, whilst attempting to park, you get yourself into a fluster and muddle up your break and accelerator pedal then you have the potential to be lethal.

So OP you need to distinguish between the two. Were they just a bit rubbish and took ages (even if mounting the kerb, did they do so in a controlled fashion). Or did they lose control of the car?

If the latter, then report to DVLA.*

This.

There's a bit more to it than "oh yeah I'm just a shite parker" .

AtwilightRebellion · 13/08/2022 16:26

Parking is a skill. Same as driving. How someone parks is indicative of how they approach driving.

Idiotic to think anything else. Report.

AtwilightRebellion · 13/08/2022 16:35

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 00:31

Who made you the arbiter of parking standards? Parking and driving are not the same thing .

If you see them going out drunk, or without functioning brake lights or with an unrestrained child as a passenger, report them.

But otherwise, their parking skills not meeting your standards is none of your business.

I assume you can't park either!

I can't imagine defending shit parking.

You are stupid beyond belief if you don't know or can't imagine the damage that people whose spacial awareness and ability to manoeuvre isn't up to par.

Comments like yours make me angry. People who cannot park are definitely drivers who should be retested.

OP, you were also stupid not reporting them the first time.

gatehouseoffleet · 13/08/2022 16:36

Poor parking means poor awareness of space and poor control of the vehicle, thereby poor driving

Even if you are rubbish at parking, you don't mount a pavement at speed, you'd just bump up onto it. If they are mounting the pavement at speed, there is something else going on. It is nothing to do with parking skills, which are entirely different.

gatehouseoffleet · 13/08/2022 16:39

Comments like yours make me angry. People who cannot park are definitely drivers who should be retested

I think you are overreacting. A lot of us didn't have to do parking as part of our tests and we are perfectly capable of driving properly and have decent spatial awareness. In fact I think people lack spatial awareness in other ways - for example when they insist on turning right across busy traffic when there's a roundabout to the left of them.

If you can't park, you just make a hash of it. And either you find a different space or go in a car park or whatever. Or drive in instead of reversing in (may not be recommended but plenty of people do it). If you end up driving onto a pavement at speed, your parking skills are not the issue, your driving skills are.

StaunchMomma · 13/08/2022 17:09

My great uncle got like that - couldn't drive safely, slow reactions, forever clipping people's wing mirrors or reversing into parked cars and just acting as if it hadn't happened.

In the end they called his GP for advice and they arranged a home visit, tested his reactions and distance eyesight and declared him unfit to drive. They paid for a letter that said so and sent it to the DVLA and took his car keys.

I'm sure it didn't feel nice but he could have killed himself or others.

I do feel for elderly people who rely on driving to get by. It must be awful to have to stop but it does have to happen eventually.