AIBU to be seriously fed up with mansplaining, knowledge flexing partner on holiday

[Woolyminded]

I've just come back off hol with my partner and kids.

He is a terrible mansplainer and correcter. This holiday I've just realised what a smug knowledge flexer he is too.
A few examples- I was telling my DS that mallorca is majorca but the Spanish spelling. DPs ears pricked up, he's almost gleeful when he thinks I've said something wrong, he said 'well actually, mallorca is a different island' and proceeded to show me a map on his phone to prove it. He shows me menorca on a map. I say that's menorca. He then realises hes talking crap and starts telling us about menorca being a separate island.
I've pointed his habit out to him before, he knows its something that really starts to wear me down when I feel like he's constantly poised to disprove things I say. If I say something that he doesn't already know, his first reaction is to query it and Google it to find out if its right. Its incredibly demeaning.
There was a particular moment this holiday when I had a moment of realisation that he gets on my effing tits.
We were at the lunch buffet and I was doing the usual trying to spark up a conversation to involve everyone, my ds and dd, 11 and 14, and dp and his 12 and 15 yr old. DP and his DS starts quizzing everyone on the periodic table. 'What elements make up salt' or something like that.
I said it wasn't a fun conversation, it was just a knowledge flex. He looked surprised and carried on, started asking who knows the characteristics of cells. It just seemed like it was showing off and highlighting how little I've got in common with him. I like a niche random intellectual conversation if its interesting but it felt like I was taking an exam that I hadn't prepared for. Is this normal dinnertable chat and am I weird for not wanting to talk about chemistry? Or be involved in pretentious, dull knowledge flexing? I'd sat through a monologue on the causes of the cold war the previous day.
I know I'm in a bitchy mood cos of holiday tiredness but I found it as irritating as a bad case of thrush.

I don't think so as featuredcreature has just done it by calling out not knowing what intellect flexing was. Well I never heard it either ? This is exactly what this thread is about people ramming their knowledge down people's throats

People like this are insufferably tedious and boring.

They can also provide a bit of entertainment, we knew someone who did this, when he started I would start another trail using a subject about which he knew absolutely nothing, it would amuse my children immensely for a while.

@Woolyminded

I can understand your frustrations op,

That said it's like going to dinner with Sheldon Cooper and the group and not knowing anything. With all due respect, I think a general knowledge book,.may help from the point of helping each of you know a bit more about different topics.

as for your partner, is be intrigued with his perspectives on the cold war.
as for his general personality, all the best op

I like the term 'knowledge flexing' and shall keep it to use myself as and when needed.

The tampon string conversation reminds me of the time man I know via a shared hobby tried to mansplain the female orgasm to me. Apparently 'some women will never orgasm as they have a hood covering the clitoris'.

Its one of the few times I've been completely speechless in my life. He took my speechlessness and gob hanging open expression to mean he was telling me something new. Me, a woman of 63, who'd owned her own clit for all those 63 years.

*id be intrigued with his perspectives on the cold war

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Was that his excuse for being crap in bed?! Its a long winded way to say hes never made a woman come

I agree, @Softplayhooray. There's no problem with this kind of thing if everyone is enjoying it (our family is similar, and for similar reasons). The problem is when the ones who do enjoy this sort of thing go about it in a competitive and unpleasant way that leaves the ones who don't enjoy it, or the ones whose knowledge is not so great, feeling demeaned. See Competitive Dad from The Fast Show for an example.

It's not intelligence! It's trivia. Now, it may be trivia that intelligent people use to do intelligent things, but in terms of the actual ability, it's no different than being able to recite the dating history of Love Island contestants.

Intelligence is about what you do with facts, not about reciting them.

Good point. I never considered that.

I love the term "knowledge flexing".

Back in the day, when my sister brought a new boyfriend to meet our father, he would sit the bf down and say "So you are a mathematician, are you? Can you solve this problem?" and set them a maths problem.

And there it is !!!!! The MN sudden change in opinion . Now being full of knowledge is a great thing suddenly because someone took offence at a comment. All the attacking will start now because a poster wasn't given all the facts. Jesus

I would just start saying 'i don't care' in a monotone voice over him every time he does it, multiple times until he shuts up. Then the next time - 'I don't care'.

On the male equivalent of MN, probably yes.

Fucking mansplaining. I've just had two painters and decorators who were coming to quote me for some woodwork try and tell me that I should paint my (brand spanking new) fence immediately because its already starting to rot🙄 It was just finished this morning!!! I know everyone wants work atm but I couldn't bloody believe the shit some people make up.

Wasn't it a song that Daniel Radcliffe, sang, but a famous comedian in the 50/60s?

@thenightsky 😂that's hilarious. Tell me you have a small penis without telling me you have a small penis😂

As he's such an expert on female anatomy compared to, you know, actual women - presumably he's tasked with teaching the relevant section of RSE to all the girls?

Or is he told to stay in the Chemistry lab well out of their way?

@Wiccan what's so funny to you to use 5 laughing emojis? My ND kids love science and the periodic table so they talk about it and play games about it. We have the periodic table Top Trumps out all the time. Who cares if they're Peppa Pig or football top trumps? We don't. But they happen to be about the periodic table because that's what my kids like. There's enough bullying they've had to endure in their lives because they're different and because they're 'nerdy' - bullying from kids. But you're an adult and clearly enjoy putting the boot in too.

As it relates to the OPs partner and which I've already commented on...there's a difference in talking about things to be pretentious (like he does) & talking about them because you love them (as we all do).

Wasn't it a song that Daniel Radcliffe, sang, but a famous comedian in the 50/60s?

I think it was a song/rhyme type thing to remember the Periodic Table, problem was it was boring and it went on and on and on, Graham even tried to interrupt at one point and Daniel said I haven't finished it's a chat show not a look at how clever I am show.

Daniel when the audience and the host are glazing over and shuffling in their seats it's time to shut the fuck up.

This alone would have been curtains for me. He'd be removing a tampon from each nostril. Yeah, it might be a waste, but so worth it. And what attracted you to him? It's not coming through in your question -- time for a rethink, perhaps?

Urghhh

Reminds me of a guy I dated a couple of years ago, not only would he try and correct me on factual stuff but also dismiss any opinions I had as nonsense, he HAD to be right

This thread isn't about children or general education it's about the OP and what she has to tolerate from a know it all who uses it to make her look small. GreyTs wasn't been offensive in any way they just made a comment .you sounded a bit know it all to me too

OP, one of the few good cracks about the Periodic Table.

Understanding the Periodic Table is very much like making love to a beautiful woman, there’s no point rote-learning the location of the different elements if you don’t know what they do… langtry_girl*

Thanks be to christ you don't live with him, are married to him or share children with him.

Let @Treacletoots save you 5 years.

He's an insecure bore and his poor son is being set up to be a similar PITA.

You however, sound lovely.
But far too tolerant!