AIBU to be seriously fed up with mansplaining, knowledge flexing partner on holiday

[Woolyminded]

I've just come back off hol with my partner and kids.

He is a terrible mansplainer and correcter. This holiday I've just realised what a smug knowledge flexer he is too.
A few examples- I was telling my DS that mallorca is majorca but the Spanish spelling. DPs ears pricked up, he's almost gleeful when he thinks I've said something wrong, he said 'well actually, mallorca is a different island' and proceeded to show me a map on his phone to prove it. He shows me menorca on a map. I say that's menorca. He then realises hes talking crap and starts telling us about menorca being a separate island.
I've pointed his habit out to him before, he knows its something that really starts to wear me down when I feel like he's constantly poised to disprove things I say. If I say something that he doesn't already know, his first reaction is to query it and Google it to find out if its right. Its incredibly demeaning.
There was a particular moment this holiday when I had a moment of realisation that he gets on my effing tits.
We were at the lunch buffet and I was doing the usual trying to spark up a conversation to involve everyone, my ds and dd, 11 and 14, and dp and his 12 and 15 yr old. DP and his DS starts quizzing everyone on the periodic table. 'What elements make up salt' or something like that.
I said it wasn't a fun conversation, it was just a knowledge flex. He looked surprised and carried on, started asking who knows the characteristics of cells. It just seemed like it was showing off and highlighting how little I've got in common with him. I like a niche random intellectual conversation if its interesting but it felt like I was taking an exam that I hadn't prepared for. Is this normal dinnertable chat and am I weird for not wanting to talk about chemistry? Or be involved in pretentious, dull knowledge flexing? I'd sat through a monologue on the causes of the cold war the previous day.
I know I'm in a bitchy mood cos of holiday tiredness but I found it as irritating as a bad case of thrush.

I'd be really concerned he'd start mansplaining sexual intercourse whilst you're just about to go at it 🙄🤣
Are you going to stay with him?

I’m afraid that would have been the end for me. He sounds an insufferable bore. Why are you with him?

No idea what 'knowledge flexing' is but he sounds like an absolute peanut. Hope he's got other redeeming qualities

He sounds insufferable, you did well not to pour a pint over him.

He sounds insufferable! He’d have to go if he were mine (if it didn’t stop sharpish)!

A good friend is often heard to say (sad times she finds she has to say it so often) ‘you don’t make your light shine brighter by putting someone else’s out’.

The dinner time conversations about random subjects someone is knowledgable about is something we do a lot of. But it will be different people who hold sway and it’s not a matter of one person looking down on the others for not knowing. Knowledge is for sharing not crowing over.

The jumping on a “mistake”, being patronizing about it and then not being really chagrined when it turns out you’re wrong would not last 2 seconds. That is a pretty blatant sign of an unfounded superiority complex that I would not allow it especially not around my kids. Nasty way to treat family and friends.

My phone autocorrected a word I was typing, to something else, my OH made a point of calling me out on it, as if I meant to put it on purpose. I said it was my phone autocorrecting and me typing to quick and pressing send before reading it through. I said I didn't pull him up on anything like that as I know mistakes can happen........"I don't know what you mean, I don't make mistakes with mine" well well, well........someone forgot the definitions oh their, there and they're and I spent a good chunk of time 'explaining the differences 😁😁😁😁 was it petty??? yes......would I do it again????...Hells yeah!!!!!!!

Is your DP actually a bit thick and insecure about his lack of intelligence - hence his irritating need to 'prove' himself?

Both DH and I are both graduates and quietly confident of our academic abilities so no need for petty one upmanship.

Sounds like my BIL and FIL. Both Oxbridge educated so apparently know everything about everything. Just insufferable. I ignore them now.

How tedious.

I've used 'Can I just stop you there?' when the lecture has got going. People generally think it's because you've got something to add or want to ask a question, but it isn't. I just want you to stop talking at me.

Oh, god. I had one of those boyfriends once. If you pointed out a bird on the river while out walking: “Well, what sort is it?” Decor in a restaurant was lots of flags: “Let’s see how many we can each name.” Swimming on holiday: “No, you can’t just swim: let’s race lengths and time ourselves.” Or he’d wonder stuff aloud when he clearly knew the answer, or secretly quiz me: “I wonder what such and such means.” Like a fool I’d answer and he’d go, “That’s right! Oh I knew, I just wondered if you did.”

Insufferable and a dumping offence.

Can you really not infer the meaning in the words knowledge flexing? Sorry to be a twat but it's self explanatory

My xh is like that. Boring.

In the past, maybe when he was a child, his parents/teachers etc told him he was a good, clever boy for answering so well. Remembering those glory days gives him a happy glow to when he was a good boy. Sadly, he’s not reading the room and his “games” are falling flat. It’s a little sad really

@Breezycheesetrees

This is precisely why I have friendzoned a man who does this. Irritating in the extreme!

That's awesome. Going to try that with a boring as all feck monologuer.

That was to @Knittedfairies 🙄

Bin him.

Omg mumsnetters you've really helped me feel normal again, I was starting to wonder if I was being an uneducated weirdo for not feeling right about those types of conversations.
We both work in education, have degrees, similar level of intellect i think. I've never thought of him as feeling inadequate, he's always very confident. I agree that sort of behaviour in children is a sign of low self esteem and anxiety, I definitely think this is the issue with his son, coupled with the fact that he's learning from the example his dad is setting about how to speak to people.

This is fantastic 😂😂
Do you ever just directly tell him that he doesn't need to pretend to know everything?

I am being genuinely honest when I say my kids love a quiz about the periodic table 🤣 But sounds like posturing pretentious hell the way your partner does it. I am sure he would have ripped the fun from it for them by going on until they got one wrong then lording it over them. He sounds insufferable. Well done for getting through the holiday!!

I know someone like this. He’s so bloody annoying. He’s a barrister. Every time we go for dinner with him and a group of other friends, he dominates the conversation and tells other people things about their own jobs. He knows everything!! Except he doesn’t, so makes himself look like a complete twat. His wife hangs on his every word, and never disagrees. I used to debate things with him, but he took such pleasure in telling me I was wrong. Now I just wait for him to stop and I change the subject

Why do these people not realise how tedious they are? It’s exhausting.
I really feel for you op.

How tedious. I don't think I"d be able to put up with it to be honest, let along the example her setting his kids of how to talk down to people.

I'd be planning a swift exit to be honest... life is too short!

I’m afraid I can’t get over him having a view on tampon strings - talk about seriously straying out of your lane (and for what it’s worth I know two people who’ve had to get tampons extracted by doctors with the long forcep thingys - fingers weren’t up to the job!!).

I’ve struck gold with my oxbridge-educated husband who blissfully keeps his esoteric knowledge to himself. I’m mortified though as I’m the one who can recite the periodic table and will quiz the DC on what makes up table salt 😳

He sounds like a twat! Just tell him to STFU.