To object to "She's not peddling on the back"

[ArseOnSaddle]

DH and I have ridden a tandem for about 10 years. We absolutely love it, it's much more social than having separate bikes, and there is a brilliant teamwork thing where you have to work together and synchronise your actions to maximise your speed.

Tandems are generally set up so the stronger rider is at the front, as it takes a lot of upper body strength to steer the combined weight of two people. So generally in heterosexual couples, the man is on the front and the women is the "stoker".

However, it makes us an irresistible target for the inevitable shout of "She's not peddling at the back". It's always some smartarse bloke, often not looking like he does any exercise at all, and it's started to really wind me up. Especially when we've just slogged up some endless mountain climb (which is really tough and slow on a tandem) and I've been working my arse off for hours. It just feels really discouraging and sexist - like my effort is invisible.

However, we recently had a quite unpleasant interaction where I expressed my frustration with the comment and the guy took massive exception - because it was only a friendly joke - and I really wished I hadn't said anything.

So is the only possible response to ignore it? It is so frequent and so very irritating!

YABU : It's a joke, get over yourself.
YANBU: It is pretty sexist and annoying.

That would wind me up so much!

What we've realised over the years is that when you first start, there's an element of you fighting each other with the pedals. So you can be unwittingly making it harder for both of you than a single bike. It takes a lot of practice to get really good at working together and saving as much effort as possible.

It may also have felt harder for both of you because if he's an experienced cyclist, his cadence will probably be much faster and more regular than yours. Developing a cadence that works for you is really important.

We've recently got faster (well, to be fair, less slow, because it's still a snail's pace!) on the hills because I've really worked on matching the effort on my downstroke to his.

If it's any comfort, the tandemists on here know you were working!

Some of these responses are awesome. Me and my boyfriend are keen cyclists and he’s recently bought a “vintage” tandem off eBay. Needs a bit of work first, and possibly a longer pilot seat post as he’s 6ft 3 and I’m 5ft 6 with short legs, but I can’t wait to try it.

We started 10 years ago with a second hand one from ebay - someone had made it from various bits they had lying around. It was never totally comfortable but gave us the taste for it and we upgraded a few years later. Hope you have a lot of fun on yours.

I don’t think it’s sexist - I think people would make the same tedious joke if it was two men or two women. I can see why it annoys you though. People always think things like that are a joke you’re hearing for the first time, when you’ve actually heard it a billion times and are really bored by it. I used to know someone who played the double bass and without fail whenever he was lugging it around on his way to a gig someone would shout “Bet you wish you’d chosen the flute instead!” Not offensive, just incredibly annoying.

I have limited patience with blokes (always blokes) making stupid comments.

only today as I was taking my mtb out the back of my estate (which I bought for carrying bikes about), a male cyclist informed me that I ought to get a bike rack. No idea why as I wasn’t struggling. I told him I’ve got a bike rack but my bike is far too expensive and precious to risk on a rack. 😁😁

I hate this kind of thing too OP.
I run, and often I get men shouting "go on love", "keep going", that sort of thing. It really irritates me. I once ran past some workmen and the digger driver shouted "go on, you can go faster than that". I shouted back "I'd like to see you try running, rather than sitting on your lazy fat arse", and gave him the finger. Twat.

And I hate lolz.

I appear to be one of a very small minority on MN who likes it when people speak in a friendly way to each other in the street, even if it is in cliches.

Christ yes - tedious.

this reminds me of what I get at work relentlessly.

I work in a tech capacity, managing programming for a key IT system. This IT system is utilised by a large number of users in my company all over the UK. Its my responsibility to keep things running smoothly, as well as for developing the system to meet company demands, so lots of responsibility and I wouldn’t have the job if I didn’t have the skills/experience.

whenever I walk into a room ‘oooh here she’s is, have you gone to break it?’

every
fucking
day

Not very funny but I wouldn’t assume it was sexist. A bit like saying “you’ve missed a bit” to someone painting a fence.

I hate lolz and people being told to chill

Looks like we're all destined to be pissed off then.

This bike is mint 👌

I definitely like a response like 'I'll start peddling when he starts steering!'

That's because it's annoying, boring and unoriginal af. But not sexist. It's mostly people wanting to interact with others but not being interesting enough to do it properly.

I'm a man and I get these bantz comments too. Unless it's something nasty I just usually half smile and carry on.

I do some community gardening. Almost every time a bloke will say "You can come & do my garden after". It's always blokes. I pretend I haven't heard now.

🤣🤣 looking forward to using a variation of this!

Hello fellow tandemists!

We have a Hase Pino, like @Mumofgrownupkids (and a couple of other tandems) and have had all sorts of comments about who isn't pedalling. Such hilarity, we have never heard it before.  But most comments are from kids who think it's a really cool bike. It is.

We have a tandem! Absolutely love it - I used to go out with my Dad growing up - we were speedy - used to love nipping past the Lycra brigade! (They were not so impressed - especially when I waved as we went past!) We now need to do it up to take the kids out in turn on it. Just used to ignore the comments on not pedalling or ha ha not like we’ve heard that one before. Most people though think it’s cool!

We ride to work together a couple of days a week (we don’t live together) and I am DYING to commute on it while the weather is nice. Will mean a ten min walk from his office to mine in my kit but I don’t mind.

Better or worse than the ones that sing 'Daisy Daisy' at you?

No one has ever sung Daisy Daisy! I think we would be very happy if they did and would find it a classy upgrade on "She's not peddling", though I'm sure it could get tired if it was the same every time.

A tandem commute would be cool!

I appear to be one of a very small minority on MN who likes it when people speak in a friendly way to each other in the street, even if it is in cliches.

It’s probably a bigger minority than you think. Quite often the cliché will progress into a more interesting conversation.

@TulipCat that's a very good reply. Dismissive but not aggressive

It's just chit chat though isn't it? Because your bike is unusual. I wouldn't take it as an insult and don't see the need to be foul-mouthed and aggressive (like one poster was proud of being).

Douglas Adams observed the "bet you wished you'd taken up the piccolo instead [of the double bass]" in Dirk Gently. It's just the crap people say, nobody's meant to be offended by it. I also have had the "you can come and do mine next" while washing cars or windows/cutting hedges/mowing grass where passersby can see you. It's trite and uninteresting, a throwaway remark, but if you reply humorously it can develop into a nice little chat that feels more worthwhile.